*copies and pastes from old topic*





Newbie










Group: Newbie


Joined: 25May2004

Location: United States


Posts: 22


It started when I was about five or so, for some reason, I dont know
why- I constantly felt sick. Like I was going to throw up. Anyhow, this
went on for the later part of my kindergarden year, and seemed to get
worse. In the beginning, I remember feeling sick on occasion during the
night, progressing to every night, and then pretty much all the time.
But it got worse and worse till sometime in early summer, when I
finally threw up. In the few days previous to that, I was afraid to
eat, use the bathroom, and I tilted my head onto my left shoulder all
the time. But after that I have always been emetophobic. I think it has
gotten worse as time moved on, because now when someone gets sick-
Well, the last time it was my brother at a hotel, I sat outside in the
bushes till about Midnight when my parents made me come inside, where I
hid on one side of the bed shaking all night (since it was in the
hotel, my brother and I had to share a bed) In the ten hour car ride
home the next day I hid beneath all the suitcases we had...





But yeah, I have some pretty weird habits that must be related to this,
one is that I will never eat what my fingers have tounched, like, If i
eat a fry or something, the very end I'll just not eat at all. I'll
also eat everything with a fork- never fingers.





When someone get's sick, I'll cover my ears, close my eyes, start
breathing funny, whimpering (because if I scream... I'll really be in
for it with my dad), and walking in circles. But when I feel sick
myself I do weird things like look for patterns and count very small
things, which usually will hold me off for a couple of hours.





Anyways, I hate being emetophobic, I have been for seven years. Evilness indeed.





*adds on more*

Emetophobia has changed for me over the last seven years, I don't know
if I could know what times it has been better or worse, but at some
times, I am generally scared all the time, but at other times, worried
less, but have worse panic attacks from time to time. Since about
March, or so, I've been worried less, but having worse panic attacks.
The last time I threw up, when I was ten, I remember not being as
scared as I would be if someone else was throwing up. I had never
actually seen anyone throw up, until this past October, when my brother
did, and I didn't have any warning, or time to close my eyes and cover
my ears. All the times I have ever gotten sick, I have closed my eyes.



But yeah, I have never really had any motivation to cure myself, and my
parents would most likely laugh if I ever asked to see a therapist or
anything, because I've asked if there was any cure for this, when I was
younger, and they said that I would only get better if I threw up
myself. They have more than once tried to convince me to take that
medicine that makes you throw up, especially after I have had panic
attacks. I suppose I'll wait until I'm 17, and go off to college,
before I go to therapy....