Cannot sleep. Having such bad anxiety, going in waves into panic. Feel like I am doomed. Would rather be dead in this moment. I'm trembling and my throat feels tight. Like I'm choking. I am trying to tell myself that it's because of the anxiety and not my body trying to keep vomit down. It's just anxiety. But that doesn't explain why my stomach has been gurgling so much today and why I've had a cramp come and go in my lower stomach. Trying hard to keep my hold on being brave but it feels like the tighter I grasp on to it, the harder my anxiety fights me.

Low point. Been doing so well the past few days, but right now it feels like I'm in hell. I feel like the anxiety will never go away and I will never get to sleep. My husband says I have to eat something, that I'm probably mistaking hunger pains for cramps but I don't think I am. They feel like IBS pains and that scares the living bejesus out me right now because of the dinner party I'm hosting. I feel like I am going to disappoint everyone.

Low point. Very low point.