I just started CBT yesterday and am terrified. My therapist gave me homework to listen to 5 minutes of v* sounds per day until I see him next week. The hard part about this is finding the sounds. Has anyone else every started with this? He recommended I look for apps for my smartphone. The more and more I think about what else I will have to do as part of my exposure therapy, the more frightened I get. I broke down in bed last night bawling because I don't think I can do this (thankfully my loving husband is extremely comforting and supportive). I have come to the realization that I have never actually seen a person v* and now, I will have to see it quite frequently as part of my therapy. I am feeling angry about my fear and have been having urges to send an e-mail to my therapist to say I won't be able to go through with this. But I have been dealing with this fear for 20+ years (I am 27) and I am sick of it. It is so debilitating and no one understands what it is like to feel so closed off and afraid.

I am afraid I won't have the courage to go through the therapy...but if I don't, I will continue to be miserable and scared. I feel very conflicted.