boyfriend and emet.

[krebstar]

i'm feeling n* nearly everyday, and i'm ALWAYS CONVINCED that
i've got a s*v* even though i've felt the same n* every day for ...
too long. : / it seems that i'm always complaining of feeling ill when
i'm with my boyfriend. i won't want to do something because i feel
sick. and he'll get irritated and reply "you ALWAYS feel sick!" (which
is fairly true). he feels like i don't want to be with him and am making
up excuses. then after the n* passes, which it always does, i'll feel
bad for making us miss out on some activity or for leaving to go
home because i was so afraid i was going to v* if i left the house. i
don't think he really gets it. at the same time i feel like i should
probably honor his feelings and "suck it up a little." : / stop being so
stand-offish.
how can i let him in on what i'm feeling/my dilemma/fear and
convince him that it has nothing to do with my feelings for him?

[daffodil]

I am struggling with this problem, too, with my husband. We have two small kids, and so we don't go out much, but when we do, he almost always has a hard time getting me to go. Last time was 2-3 weeks ago, and after much badgering on his part, I agreed to go out to a party with him. And I am glad I went. We had a good time. Though it was difficult for me to step out of my comfort zone, it was worth it. I think sometimes we just have to push ourselves a little. As for getting them to understand, I don't know. I know my husband will never really understand, because he doesn't have the phobia. He also takes it personally when I don't want to go out, or don't want to kiss him. I wish I knew what to do about that. I feel bad hurting his feelings.

[qpaulina42]

I had a boyfriend for 5 years and then he left me saying that he just couldn't deal with my problems anymore and had to take care of himself. He said I wasn't even bothering to try and find a 'cure' or to get better. He was always of the opinion that the power to cure this phobia was in my control. I guess that pissed me off quite a bit because I would have these great improvements (in my opinion) and he would just tell me that I don't do enough.
I have a new boyfriend now. Naturally we are in love, but then again you always feel that way while you are together. I try not to let my phobia affect our relationship as much, as I don't want him to leave. Just the other day though we were on this long trip in the car. I was driving. We stopped at a restaurant and I had this incredably rich cake and I ate far too much so I started feeling n*. I was getting those creepy involuntary unexpected burps. Very disturbing. It was really late and we had been driving for about 9 hours at this point and were getting within an hour's distance from our home. But I managed to completely freak out, what with being tired and the n*. He suggested I pull over and we sat there till the panic attack passed, but then we still had to drive and I just new he was totally irritated with me. He didn't say much, just that in the past he has tried to help and he can't. So now he will just ignore me, knowing that it will pass, and that way he won't get mad. We'll see how long that lasts...
Fortunately I don't have as many bad days anymore, otherwise I think this one would be a gonner too.

[Girlygirl1980s]

Go to the treatment thread and look at - Topic: INFO ARTICLE FOR DRS, PATIENTS, FAMILIES. It was written by Sage and explains how emotophobics think and feel. Print it out, and let him read it. I just recently did this with my husband. Now he understands much more how I feel.

[lkaye29]

I told my bf I had the fear of v*ing and he told me I had too many irration fears.

[aguerra29]

I think it is very hard on our spouses. I know my husband loves me and wants me to be rid of this phobia, but I know he doesn't quite understand it. He doesn't understand why I am so tired all the time. I finally told him, "DO you know how exhausting it is to have this phobia? When I make my lunch in the morning I have to make sure I use the anti-bacterial, to take my medicine I have to use the anti-bacterial and make sure the bottle of water is a fresh one, when I eat a banana, I can't touch anything but the peel, when I make my hot tea, I can't touch the actual tea bag and I chose a spoon that I'm sure no-one has touched, etc. etc. etc." You get the point. My husband does the best her can, but he is not an enabler. He "makes" me do things that at the time I don't want to do, but once I do them, I'm grateful that he made me. But it is tiring for him to constantly badger me. It's hard! If he's a keeper, you need to sit him down and talk about this. It is not going to go away overnight. Therapy and possibly medication may be needed to overcome this phobia.

[wonderwhen?]

I have been going out with my girlfried for a year. My fears did not come up untill recently after becoming ill. I still am ill almost everyday. I have stomach aches and n*. I have been to the hospital for really bad chest pains too. It has been brought to my attention that these symptoms (including anxiety) can be caused by your thyroid being out of whack. Anyway back what i was saying. My girlfriend does not understand my fears completly but is very supportive. I find that having an attack around her makes me feel alot better.Yesterday morningi was constipated and i started to get sick to my stomach. My face was flushed and i was getting waves of n*. This was at like 5 am and she was asleep. I shot up and went to the bathroom and got some water and did what i normally do with an attack. Then i called her name and she just jumps up and tends right to my needs. Just reassuring me and i find that hugging someone helps too. Anyway hope this helps.

[alwaysamber]

My hunny is very understanding and supportive for the most part. Especially since I am pregnant and it has been at its worse. I just don't like when he tells me you never get sick you know you wont. If I knew I wouldn't I wouldn't panic. Just a horrible cycle of fear. I would like for him to read more about it though. It is great to have a good support system...helps a lot.