OK.. so help me out here

My husband has a bike.. 2004 yamaha R1 ok ok.. so the issue is we have been married for a year and together for almost two and i have NEVER ever ever ridden on it! EVER!

ok so he askes me all the time to go but im just to damn scared and nervous.. and so tonite he was going to take me on a short ride and go slow and all that jazz but im too freaking scared and im whimping out AGAIN.. i hate anxiety. And now here i am all shaky and nervous and butterflies in my tummy .. scared to death and i just wanna say no.. but than i get upset because i dont even try but i cant!! ahhh my head is driving me crazy.. i feel like i am going insane. I feel like crying because I want to and I dont want to at the same time.

I hate this.. i wish i could just do it.. just do it damnit..

i wish it was that easy.. i am having conflictions and fights with my own mind.. i dunno what to do.