Welcome to the International Emetophobia Society | The Web's Largest Meeting Place for People With Emetophobia.
Results 1 to 17 of 17

Thread: Sad

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    611

    Default



    Okay, I don't know where to start, but I need to get some junk off my chest right now. I'm feeling really bummed. I've always love, love, loved Christmas. It's just that this year it's pretty sucky. Since Jeremy's the only one working, money has been super tight lately. I'm talking the 'I'm tempted to start rolling change' kind of tight. We've pretty much finished up the Christmas shopping for the kids and I'm embarrassed at how few gifts we were able to afford. I know that's not what this time of year is all about, but it makes me feel like a bad parent. And then I can't help but think about the new baby on his/her way. It's like, if we're having such a hard time with three, how will we ever provide for four. To top the whole money situation off, it looks like my husband may be losing his job soon. He's a supervisor and the word around the company is that his entire department will soon be outsourced to India. If that happens, what the heck are we going to do? There was a time when our first baby was about 6 months old and we had to live in a motel. We can't live like that again.


    One more thing that has added toall this crap is the fact that I just found out my 18 year old little brother isaddicted to and abusing Loritab. My mom called me yesterday crying and upset and let me know that she had to kick him out after he becameverbally abusive and punched a hole in the wall. She foundout about the drug abuse via oneof his friends. I'm worried about my brother. I'm worried about my mom and my dad. She has high blood pressure and a family history of heart problems and mydad is really overweight so I'm sure his heart isn't the greatest either. I don't know how much stress they can take.


    I like to believe that everything happens for a reason, but I'm having a difficult time seeing the silver lining in all of these clouds.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Birmingham, Alabama
    Posts
    1,024

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by sherbear


    Okay, I don't know where to start, but I need to get some junk off my chest right now. I'm feeling really bummed. I've always love, love, loved Christmas. It's just that this year it's pretty sucky. Since Jeremy's the only one working, money has been super tight lately. I'm talking the 'I'm tempted to start rolling change' kind of tight. We've pretty much finished up the Christmas shopping for the kids and I'm embarrassed at how few gifts we were able to afford. I know that's not what this time of year is all about, but it makes me feel like a bad parent. And then I can't help but think about the new baby on his/her way. It's like, if we're having such a hard time with three, how will we ever provide for four. To top the whole money situation off, it looks like my husband may be losing his job soon. He's a supervisor and the word around the company is that his entire department will soon be outsourced to India. If that happens, what the heck are we going to do? There was a time when our first baby was about 6 months old and we had to live in a motel. We can't live like that again.


    One more thing that has added toall this crap is the fact that I just found out my 18 year old little brother isaddicted to and abusing Loritab. My mom called me yesterday crying and upset and let me know that she had to kick him out after he becameverbally abusive and punched a hole in the wall. She foundout about the drug abuse via oneof his friends. I'm worried about my brother. I'm worried about my mom and my dad. She has high blood pressure and a family history of heart problems and mydad is really overweight so I'm sure his heart isn't the greatest either. I don't know how much stress they can take.


    I like to believe that everything happens for a reason, but I'm having a difficult time seeing the silver lining in all of these clouds.


    Oh hun...From the bottom of my heart, I am sorry you are having to go through this...But listen, so many children don't even get a Christmas and you should feel happy that your little ones have a great Mother like you AND some gifts


    I don't know if you are a woman of faith but when I feel completely sad and hopeless, I remember a certain bible verse...


    No eye has seen...No ear has heard...No mind can conceive what God has planned for those who love him.


    Keep your chin up.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    660

    Default

    I am so sorry you're going through a rough time---that's alot to be going through all at once!

    I'm a mom, and I know exactly how hard it is to make ends meet from time to time. I've always lived paycheck to paycheck, and sometimes that didn't even work. In my job I've never made very good money, and although I love doing what I do it makes times really tough. Come Christmas and birthday time I struggle with guilt about not being able to afford to get my son what he wants and watch my own mother buy him everything under the sun. So I definitely know what you are feeling right now---I've been there many times!!

    You know, there were many times I've made really good money, but when I look back I wasn't truly happy. Now, as broke as I am, I'm happier than I've ever been. Money is not everything, and your children know is isn't as well. Alot of the joy of Christmas for kids is not tons and tons of gifts, but waking up in the morning and running to see what they've got. Waking up mom and dad at 5 AM to open presents. Remember how much fun that was?? Kids love everything about Christmas, not just the gifts. And there's so much more to this holiday than that.

    It sounds like you and your family have had alot to handle over the years, but it also sounds like you all have made it through and survived. I'm sure as long as you are all together you can make it through, even if it seems like too much at the time. I know as long as I have my family, no matter what is thrown my way I can survive it.

    Okay, this has gotten way too long---sorry!! Keep your head up and hang in there, okay? It WILL get better!! My thoughts are with you!! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,497

    Default



    Hey Sherbear Im so sorry you have to be going through this right now . I know its not ever good to go through things like this but especially around christmas *hug* . I know it seems like your world is crashing down on you but you have got to stay strong like always that the only way. I really want to tell you that you should now worry about being a bad parent because the best thing you can do for your children is love them and even though they are very young they will understand, i want to give you my example , when i migrated to Canada from Russia we were extreamly tight on money ( im talking NO money) i got a set of paints from toysr us for one year and even though all the other children had way more than me i still knew that my mom and dad were struggling and i accepted the fact. I know im kinda rambling on right now but i want you to know that you are not a badparentand i know you would give your children the world if you could.Its the littel things that count.


    So sorry about your brother also , now thats not easy at all either. I have been around addictions my whole life ( gambling and alcholism ). it is very sad to see someone you love so much being taken over by a substance/game. The only thing i can say here is that i know what it feels like to be in your position and it is super duper tough , please keep your beautiful head up God will bless your heart.dont lose faith.


    would your brother by any chance ever consider going to a re-hab center to get help ? if not maybe you and your family can set up and intervention. I hope that he gets the help he needs because having an addiction is like having a life threatning illness. I will be thinking of you and your family during this hard time and i know you can make , stay strong . you have all of our support if you need it.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Posts
    422

    Default



    i cant really follow up any of the above posts because they all say what i would say. good luck to you my dear and remember, you have to have the rain before you get the rainbows.


    you are in my prayers =)
    Danielle =)

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    611

    Default



    Kasey.......Thank you so much, sweetheart. I'm doing my best totell myself that my children are blessed. We have a warm home and a Christmas tree that will have presents underneathcome Christmas morning. The three of them have two parents who love them more than anything. These are things that some kids won't have this year or ever. I guess I just needed someone to remind me that things aren't as bad as they seem at the moment. Thank you for that and thank you for the verse.


    Christianne.......I can definitely relate to what you said aboutthe paycheck to paycheck and the guilt. You're so right. Kids do love everything about Christmas. I don't even want to raise the type of children who huff and puff if they don't get the big expensive gifts. Thank you for helping me to see this.


    Punchbuggy.......Thank you for sharing your story. It did help me to put things in perspective. Tonight, your kind words mean more to me than I can say. Thank you very much. About my brother and re-hab, I'd love nothing more than for him to get some sort of treatment, but he's 18 and thinks he knows everything. Our advice usually goes in one ear and out the other. He recently told a friend that he can quit (the drugs) all by himself. He's just so naive. An intervention is probably what's best, but I doubt any of the rest of my family would be up for it. They're the kind of people who like to ignore problems and hope they'll go away.


    Cardinalgirl.......I like that...rain before rainbows. It's so true. I'll try to keep that in mind. Thank you.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    2,335

    Default

    (((Sherbear))) I have nothing to say that the others haven't already said, but I wanted to send you big hugs, and let you know I think you are a great mommy. Don't worry about giving your kids everything under the sun for Christmas. I don't think it's good for kids to get bombarded by everything they want. It's about love and spending time together, and they will have that on Christmas, which is the most important thing.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    England
    Posts
    1,852

    Default



    I'm so sorry you are feeling fed up, and worried about your family right now. I'm sure your children will have a fab Christmas - money was tight when I was growing up, I never got as much as my cousins or friends, but they were the happiest Christmases asthey were filled withso much love and happiness; we had a comfortable home, I got to see relatives and had nice food. You children will be just as happy I know it. And kids grow up better people and are more appreciative of things when they don't get absolutely everything they want. Don't ever think you are a bad parent just because you have to live on a budget, it's not how much money you spend on your kids that make you a good parent or not. One of my friends grew up in a well-off family and he had super presents bought for him throughout his childhood but his dad was a cold and unloving father which he still reflects on and feels sad about as a forty year old. I know what most children would prefer, and that's lots of love in a happy home.


    I know what it's like to struggle for money, we are at the moment. It's Christmas so there's been so much to pay out for and my fiance works for himself as a gardener, so this time of the year is out of season for him , so there's little money coming in. It must be a big worry for you concerning your husband's possible job loss, I hope that doesn't happen, but if it does you will get through it as a family, I know you will.


    I hope your brother can sort out his problem and wish your mom and dad well.


    Take care hon, we are all here for you whenever you want some support or just need a rant. Stay strong x
    .•:*¨¨*:•.Tracey.•:*¨¨*:•.

    Fall seven times, stand up eight.
    - Japanese proverb


  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    1,668

    Default

    My sister and I talk about this a lot, when we were younger, we had nooooo money and after my dad died it was even worse as my mum was a single mum trying to bring us up on a very small budget. But we don't remember EVER being disappointed with christmas. Sometimes the gifts were things like toys from cereal packets that my mum saved in the year. They tried their best and we were both very loved and well looked after and all we remember now is being so so happy at the time. We didn't even realise we had no money lol. Things imrpove too, slowly my mum worked her way up and got better and better jobs and now all 3 of us work and we can afford to treat each other.

    When they are older I bet they just remember christmas being fun and having both their parents around to have fun with and that's more important than any expensive gift you can get a kid!

    I hope everything works out for you really soon. Much love

    Be courageous, believe in yourself, and be the best woman you can be. I'm with you all the way.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    577

    Default

    Aww sherbear...I can remember a lot of tough christmases after my parents got divorced. my mom did all she could to still give us a good christmas while she paid bills and bought groceries and spent money on everything else for my brother and i. I remember getting maybe three small gifts, and I think two were Beanie Babies. She really did try, I know it was hard for her and I still appreciated the fact that she could still set money aside to buy gifts for my brother and i. just because money is tight doesn't make you a bad person or mother. you give your children all the love in your heart and that's what this holiday is really about...loving and being around your family and the people you care about. everything will work out, just keep your chin up!

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    2,934

    Default



    Aww, I'm so sorry you're going thru this! Probably gonna repeat what everyone else says.


    I don't have kids but I can tell you from my best memories as a kid I don't remember my favorite gifts or how many, I remember my family being together, getting to see my grandparents, lots of FOOD, the traditions that made our family unique ... all of the NON material things and I bet ya anything your kids will do the same.


    I had aboyfriend a while back who ended up addicted to heroin and in rehab, his mom and I went to naranon and/or alanon meetings together and it REALLY helped! You are w/ people going thru the same thing and learn how to deal w/ the addict w/o taking on responsibility for their choices, so that you aren't consumed. He's young enough there is still hope for him, in the mean timetho maybe you could find out where local meeting are for your parents and you.


    If you ever need to talk please don't hesitate to pm me, I will giv eyou my # (I have free long distance so no worries there) and email etc.


    \"As soon as you trust yourself,you will know how to live.\"
    Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
    \"Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.\"
    Benjamin Franklin

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    1,061

    Default

    I know how you must feel but like all the others have said, kids need "presence not presents" - it's so easy to spoil them these days. Promise yourself that you will devote the day to your kids..play games with them, read them Christmas stories, snuggle up and watch a movie. you can make the day very special without buying presents that they are usually bored with by Boxing Day!

    I guess I was fortunate in that both my parents worked when I was a kid, and although they weren't big earners, in the 70s a second income made a massive difference. Still, the thing I remember more than anything was the large bar of chocolate my nan always gave me, which I was allowed to eat for breakfast! It cost very little but I looked forward to it every year because I could start devouring it at 5am!

    I really hope things work out well for you and I'm sure your family will have a wonderful Christmas, because you care about them so much.


  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,313

    Default



    I'm so sorry sherbear. I know how hard it is when money is tight. My dh and I haven't worked in over a year and unemployment $ justdoesn't cut it. I can't help but wonder how we will be able to provide for our baby if we don't find jobs soon. It's very stressful.


    I will keep you and your familyin my prayers and I wish you all the best.


    {HUGS}

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    2,535

    Default

    listen.. you are an awesome person and a fabulous mom. you will not end up living in a motel, things will work out. as far as your brother is concerned just remember you cannot fix the world- i understand he's family but it's your mom's job to take care of him. you have your own little ones.
    \"This too shall pass\"

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    2,141

    Default



    Hi Sheri,


    Let me first say that I am truly sorry you and your family have to go through this at Christmas time. It's rough, and I know because I've been there. There was a time about 10 years ago, that I was making my kids PB&J sandwiches from an ice chest in my car! We were living in hotels, and in between check-out times and getting the $$ to check back in, we were staying in my car. I''ve lived wealthy as a child, and poor as an early adult, and let me tell you, that it only made me stronger hun. I still feel guilty that all that stuff happened to us, but just like me, you are a wonderful mother, and you will always take care of your kids. You will make it through this. Remember, you can't put a price on hugs and love for your hubby and kids, and somehow that will get you through the hard times.


    Stay strong, and trust that there IS a light at the end of the tunnel. I wish you and your kids a Merry Christmas, and you'll see, they will be perfectly happy
    ~*~Charlene~*~

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    252

    Default



    Hang in there, just try and apppreciate what you have right now instead of worrying about what you don't have. Everything always works out. Remeber God has a plan for everyone and sometimes Hemay put an obstacle to make you stronger as a person.


    I like what cardinalgirl said, it's true. After the storm comes the sunshine, just keep faith and all will be on your side. [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]
    ***Elvia***


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    1,706

    Default

    Oh honey I know what you mean. We live pay check to pay check. But I was jst talking to my mom and telling her that I have always loved Christmas, and it was always really big for us, unlike anything else. My mom was a single mother on welfare with three of us, and some how she always could make it. I dont know how she did it but it was always really special with our little family. I just told her that now that we are adults we give back to her, and she has the most presents. Always, and Im crying just thining about it. She put us first, and i know that is what you and your husband are doing, just enjoy your children, they will get it when they are older, don't worry. Plus next year you can sign up for gift programs for the kids where they can recieve free presents from donations. Good luck. You are blessed. And I always believe everything happens for a reason. What the reason I dont know. Hang in there.
    I love Sam
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


 

 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •