REALLY stressed! question for the women!

[kats]

Hi first of all! Sorry i have been absent lately, but I have been following - just haven't been posting much - my apologies.


Ok - so those of you who live in the UK know that you get these little letters from the NHS reminding you to go for a smear test etc. Well I am 23 and have in the past been sexually active and have been told that it is really important to go to a gynocologist etc and that I shock people because I haven't gone yet. But this isn't the case - see I attempted to go and I went and I was all calm etc, but it hurt so much that the doctor had to stop and couldn't get a sample - three doctors later, I was flooded in tears and ran out of the office vowing never to return. I have never been in so much pain in my life. I lied to my mother saying I go regularly etc and I keep getting these letters. My great grand mother, grandmother and mother all had ovarian cancer, so I have been urged to go, but I am so scared now! I think my mom guessed that I was lying because she calls me to say she made me an appointment! I am SOOO scared! In switzerland, they do everything like a manual test, a smear test, god knows what else -I am not familiar with visits to the gynocologist!


Guys, I am sooo sooo scared! When my mom called me, I was at work and I had this major panic attack and couldn't breathe and my boss hesitated to call an ambulance.... I was so embarassed! Now i still am feeling so anxious and panicky and I can't breathe properly - there is NO WAY i can walk through those doors again.


What does the whole visit involve? why does it hurt so much? what should I expect?? I AM SO SCARED!!!! It hurt so much last time!!!! I have never felt such a horrible pain in my life! and I was completely calm when going - it wasnt like I was stressed or anything.


CAn anyone run me through what the whole visit involves and any experience they might have had?? I know this is really personal so please do not answer if you don't feel comfortable, but ANY advice or anything you can give me I would really appreciate it!!! I feel sooo horrible and nervous and stressed.. there is no wayi can go through it!!! I HATE IT!!! [img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img]

[sqil30]

Hey Kat,


The reason it probably hurt so much is because you weren't relaxed. I used to live in the UK and I used to have a pap every three years, since living in the US I have one every year now. OK I'll run through whatI go through and how I "do it" so to speak OK?


The best thing to do with your legs is just let them flop apart, that way you are relaxed. The doctor will do an external exam first. Before he inserts the speculum ask him to run it under warm water and to put some lubrication on it (it really does help). Don't be embarassed to ask this, just tell them you are nervous and last time it was really uncomfortable. Remember they do lots of paps a year and you are NOT the first woman to have had this problem. Next he will insert the speculum and open it so he can see your cervix. Just breathe deeply and slowly. You really won't feel too much, maybe a tiny bit of pressure while he takes the sample. He will then take the speculum out and slide twofingers in and press on your tummy, this is to check the position of your cervix, for example mine is tilted backwards, but its still normal.I usually just think about everything I have to do in the week or day and breathe deeply, it really does help. You can request a female if you like, I myself have no preference.


Really thats all there is to it, takes no more than a few minutes. You CAN do this. You WILL be fine! The good thing is that once you get it over with, then you will get no more letters. YAY! they will either call you or mail the results.Please go and do this OK? Its important. I would love to know how you get on.


You are also not the only sexually active woman to have not had a smear my sister was 28 before she had her first one!


Also do you think you just have problem because you're an emet? And you're scared of catching something? I know I get that way if I am at the doctorsoffice full of sick people...eww.I think it's just anxiety, you WILL be OK. just try and relax, when you get through it and you leave the office you'll wonder why you thought it was such a big deal. I am here if you need me!


*HUGS*


EmmaEdited by: sqil30

[punchbuggy]

sorry your so scared about this. i will tell you everything that happens when i go. I go in the office change into the robe thing that the doctor gives me then you are placed up on a bed with feet holders attached you put your feet up there and the doctor gets the instument that she uses, it looks like a metal longduck beak lol. she lubes it up and then inserts it . she usually takes a few samples and it goes really quick. when she is finished with the instrument she puts two fingers in to you and applies pressure to your abdomen region and thats it ! your done .


when you went which hurt the most for you ? i agree with squil30 though you probably werent relaxed. I hope everything goes well for you

[Galadriel]

Hey Kats,
I feel very similar to you, the thing is you've tried and I haven't had the gall to yet! You say you were sexually active before? Did it involve actual intercourse? Reason I ask is because if you could do that without pain, then surely wouldn't the exam not cause pain? When they did maybe they tried to open it too quickly? I bet that could cause pain. When you have gone after this happened, and tried to go again did you explain to them that you had a REAL Bad experience and you are really nervous about it and to please go really easy on you?

It may be a psycological thing if thats happening, tho I'm not sure? I mean if the first experince was bad, then natually anytime you try and go you are probably really clenched up "down there" even if you aren't aware of it, expecting pain.

Edited by: Galadriel

[lgood22573]

I honestly feel no pain when I go. Maybe you aren't relaxed or maybe you have some kind of infection (treatable I'm sure) if you have had sexaul partners, that is a possibility- probably not likely, but all the more reason to keep the appointment. Maybe you can ask for something prescribed to calm you down a bit.

[kats]

Hi everyone,


Thanks sooo much for your answers!!! The thing is, even when I have sex, it HURTS and I hate it!!! It's not even that my partners have been particularly big because they haven't. I just really hate it and it hurts so much. I was completely calm the first time i went for a smear bc everyone had told me it doesn't hurt. In fact, my flatmate who was also going for the first time was the one in hysterics and literally on the floor crying and it worked absoultly fine for her! I went in completely calm and it was only when it clearly was NOT working that I started getting anxious - and quite frankly it hurt so much that I just wanted the pain to stop!!!!


I don't think emet has anything to do with it in this case, because I actually do not worry that I will catch something when I go to the doctors - yes I know kind of ironic but there you go! I was in such a panic last night and my bf was trying to calm me down explaining that it was for the best and maybe they would be able to help me overcome this whole sex barrier as well (because as you can imagine, we have by far a crappy sexlife). But he is sooo patient with me, but I just cannot stand it = it is just so horrilble.


Argh the appointment is like amonth away and I am sooo stressed already! I am sure on mondayI will cancel it (yet again) [img]smileys/smilies_09.gif[/img]

[daffodil]

Are you going to a different doctor this time around? Some gyno docs have no bedside manner. I had a similar problem the first couple of times I went for an exam- it bloody HURT. Try asking them if they have a smaller speculum, b/c those regular ones can be too big for some of us. And explain to them that you are scared, and don't want it to hurt. If they are a good doctor, they will do all they can to make it as easy as possible for you. Good luck!

[kellybean]

Hey Kat, I feel the same way before I have a pap. I HATE them because they do hurt me a little. It's as painful as you explain though. Maybe be you should talk to your dr about the pain during sex and during the pap. He/she might be able to help you out more.

[Galadriel]

Hey there,
Could you possibly have vulvodynia? Its where you experience pain down there like you are describing. Try googling it and some sites will come up explaining it. It sounds definately probable in your case. I wonder if they could possibly sedate you to do it, and that way the doc could find if anything is physically wrong, and so rule that in or out, so you would know if its that or maybe something psycological.



Edited by: Galadriel

[sqil30]

You could have some sort of infection if sex is painful. Or maybe you are not producing enough lubriction. Why don't you try some KY when you next have sex? Maybe this will help. I know when I have sex with my husband and I am little dry it works wonders!

[kats]

Thanks for the advice! I have tried KY but it didnt help unforunatly I've already had sex with a condom, so I dont know how I could have an infection (unless its not an STD if thats what you mean). I am relaxed until the moment he is about to "enter" me and then I feel myself tightening up - I have no idea why I get so stressed about it - it's not a big deal! But i just hate it! Im talking about sex and the smear btw!!!!!


Arrghghg im soooo tempted to cancel the appointment - i just cant face it!!

[tcsarah]

I had to have a smear test just a few weeks ago. I've been having them for quite a few years now, every three years. I remember going once and it did hurt, so the times after that I was nervous about getting them done, but I haven't had a problem with pain since. I really think it's not that common to feel pain (maybe the slightest little pinch, but nothing like you describe) and you probably experienced it because you tensed up so much and/or it was the doctor/nurse being heavy handed. It is very important you have the test. If I were you I would make an appointment to see your doctor and describe to him just how scared you are to have the smear test, he will perhaps be able to prescribe you something to take to relax you for the test. Be honest with the person giving the test too, they are used to people being nervous, tell them you are worried, they will put your mind at rest. I'm sure there have been many women in your predicament before - there must be something they can do to relax you, just like somebody who needs dental treatment but is too scared. Just have a good talk with your doctor. Please don't ignore it and cancel the test, it's too important. Good luck hon!

[ontariogirl]

When I go for my pap it hurts. It feels like a strong period cramp and the doctor talks me through it. I think you need to find a doctor who you feel comfortable with. That would help a lot. There are time that when I have sex it hurts, could be endometriosis, I know I have it. Please find a doctor and get the pap done. When I was 21 I met this guy, foolishly I had sex with him numerous times in a month, and he broke up with me and left. About a month later I noticed these cauliflower type things on the outside of my vagina. I went to the doctor and I had genital warts! I didn’t know what they were or how I got them, I got them from him! This is going back 21 years ago. My doctor thank god told me that they are not sure but these warts could cause cervical cancer and he wants to do a pap on me every 3 months just to make sure. He burned the warts of with liquid nitrogen and he wasn’t sure if they warts are inside, probability is yes. 3 months later I got another pap and bang, it came out as cancer, not dysplasia or pre cancerous but cancer! I got the biopsy done, took tissues at the 12, 3, 6 and 9 o’clock. I ended up going down to Woman’s <st1lace w:st="&#111;n"><st1:Place w:st="&#111;n">College</st1lace> <st1:Place w:st="&#111;n">Hospital</st1lace></st1lace> and having a cone biopsy done. These little critters can lay dormant. I was having pap’s every 6 months, then every year. Between that cone biopsy and now I have had 4 paps’ that came back and had cryosurgery done. Last month I went back for my pap and I have to go back in 6 months, I have changing cells and that could mean anything but to be on the safe side I have to go back.
Pap smears saves lives, please go and find someone to do this. It may hurt a little or a lot but I promise you when you find someone who is gentle and respects your anxiety with this you will feel better and get it done.
I am not saying that you have something all I am saying is please get this done

[Babydoll]

why dont you take a few moments before your exam to talk to the doctor that will be doing your pap? letting him know your experience and how much it bothers you may help tremendously... and then he can find an alternate methodof doing the exam - my doctor is so great... she doesnt even make you use those stupid stirrups that you put your feet in.


also, it might help if you ask the doctor to tell you everything while he is doing it... I know that the test seems scarey... but honestly, it is MORE scarey not knowing if you are healthy or not..


the biggest thing I can tell you is to find a doctor that you are comfortable with, maybe a female doctor.. I know for me, it makes a huge difference.

[marby]

Kats-


So sorry you have had to go through all the pain with the pap and sex. It does sound a bit like endometriosis, which can be removed. I think you need to find a doctor who is willing to sit down and talk to you first about what they are going to do and how it should feel. Maybe once you feel comfortable with him or her, it will help you to relax during the examination. With the history you have in your family with ovarian cancer, you really need to have these check ups and keep yourself healthy.


Good luck!