Despair and Anger

[mistydb27]

Is this thing going to rule my life FOREVER!


I am crying as I write this because I has D* this morning and I am completely freaking out. A 31 YEAR OLD WOMAN SHOULD HAVE MORE CONTROL OVER HERSELF THAN THIS!


I am so tired! It is 24/7. There is not one moment it is not with me. It controls EVERY SINGLE DECISION I MAKE!


&(*&*&(*&%^^%&(**)(*)*)(^%%&am p;

[Melikasa]

It won't rule your life forever. I have been where you are at now and it did rule my life at the time. It may be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel now but God will lead you there and hey its a one way tunnel so you won't get lost. It just may be long.
Don't give up. I am sure there are certain aspects that will stay with us from time to time.
BIG hugs hun. I wish you all the best today and know that you are falling at the moment but you will come up again. We are here for you.

[mistydb27]

Thanks for replying Melissa. Sorry for the screaming. I am just home by myself and had to vent somewhere.





Misty

[Jenneh]

sumthing u sed ther... made me prick my ears up..


"should have more control than this...."


the point is, most of us here are control freaks, and think we need control wen we dont...... so dont go thinking u shud have more control than this


sorry im making no sense... had a bad day,.


Jen xxxxxxx

[mistydb27]

I'm sorry but that kinda hurt my feelings a little.


Was it offensive to you that I used that phrase?


I'm obviously not having the best day or actually the last six months have been close to hell for me sitting in this house alone all day because I was layed off in Feb. and the job market sucks and I can't sleep at night so I finally decided it was time to come back to ya'll for support.


Misty

[jgirl236]

Misty,


I feel your frustration hon. I really do. This is a very aggrivating phobia at times - and feeling the loss of control when you do feel ill can be very scary. To Jen's point - part of the issue with this phobia is control. The part that sucks is that we want the control so we can keep ourselves from v* but we lack the control and that scares the hell out of us. So we feel we need more control. And in a way - we may not. If we could relax and let ourselves get sick when our body needs it - we would feel better. I think that is what Jen was trying to say.


I have been very upset and frustrated lately about my "lack of control" and it sucks! Hang in there - I am a 30 year old reduced to a 5 year old at the first sign of real nausea! It is a horrible feeling but it won't last forever - I promise. If you put in the time and effort to make recovery happen - you will gain back that life you feel that you lost. At least that is what I am banking on - I want to go out and have fun again!


I am here to chat if you need to vent even more!


Jessica[img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

[mistydb27]

Thanks Jessica.


My depression is just kinda spiraling out of control and I haven't slept in about 36 hours.


I need serious help.[img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

[Jenneh]

u found what i sed offensive?


heck i give up.

[Galadriel]

sumthing u sed ther... made me prick my ears up..


"should have more control than this...."


the point is, most of us here are control freaks, and think we need control wen we dont...... so dont go thinking u shud have more control than this


sorry im making no sense... had a bad day,.


Jen xxxxxxx

Hey Jen, I think she misread what you were saying. I understood what you meant.


We tend to like to have control over ourselves, and we tend to get sorta more controling than most people, and so I think what Jen meant was that its ok to NOT always have control (When you have d* you dont, I know how you feel I hate that feeling!) but I think what Jen was meaning was that sometimes we freak about not having control about things that are really UNcontrollable (d*). Am I correct about this Jen?

[Jenneh]

u r correct.

[mbs730]

Jen
I totally knew what you meant. I know that is why I am more phobic of
others getting sick rather than myself because I know *when* I feel
sick I am confident that I can fight it off, like control that it WONT
happen but on Saturday night I wasnt so sure. However you cant exactly
control what others do. If someone else is feeling sick and isnt
emetophobic, well he or she is GOING to more than likely get sick. That
is why I am more freaky about someone else getting sick than myself.
That doesnt mean I dont go all wiggy when I feel n as you know but I am
a lot worse when someone else is sick!!!



Miriam

</span></font>