Sooooo Tired!!!

[violet]

So, today I went for a job interview, went alright and they want to start me off part time, dont know if il get a full time one so went to see about getting "another" part time job, got to go back in tomorrow about that one..

Youre probably wonder why the heck Im doing this, well, I need to find a flat and for that I need money, but right now, im SO tired and fed up, everythings just on my shoulders..

Went to the supermarket today after the interview so 30 mins traveling there and back, went to see my dad inbetween and well Im scared of germs from both places, plus last night I hardly slept, think it was just everything running through my head at the time about whats going on with my life.

I was going to move down to England with my partner but I dont want to be stuck there with no way to get back up here, and no where near my family, plus with my dad being so unwell, I just feel like I could miss out on the last years of his life, and I could never forgive myself if that happined

I just had some bread well a baguette and flora, cant stomach anything else at the moment, feel so drained..

Yes this may turn into a moan lol

So I guess Im just scared, Im going out on my own no one else to support me, Il be living on my own, well, still trying to find a flat, Il have no one there to help me if Im unwell, and well to be honest I feel that no one really cares..

Il be doing the "work to live" type thing and just get on with life, sad really, my father lives on his own my mother with her new bf soon and me on my own, no family unit left really..

My emet has been driving me up the wall recently, I feel like stress is a huge part of it but still, its hard to be rational at times as Im sure you all know..

I just feel like my life is taking this huge turn and I wonder whats right, should I just give up go to england and be safe and let someone take care of me or should I stay up here find a flat and work, maybe take a night time course and try rebuild my life by myself..

Im looking to put myself on the list for houses with the council in a different town but it takes a few years, that would mean I could go to college there, and maybe inbetween this I could try get some help again..

I dont know Im just so confused its unreal, and SO scared..

Can anyone offer any advise, Id be greatful for anything, sorry this is so long!

Thankx x

[sqil30]

Hi Violet,


I think that once you get a job and a place you'll wonder what all the fuss was about! I know its scary moving out on your own, but its also exciting! You'll have your own place and you'll be able to do what you want. I really do think you are having alot of emet symptoms, because you are so stressed. You're trying to do two things at once.


If you are really worried about your dad,I would try and find a job and a place close to home. You can always move later if you feel like it. Just take one small step at a time, remember you need to learn to walk before you can run!


I would definately look into the night class thing, maybe do a hobby, or something that you would maybe like as a career. Make a list of what you need to do and work through it (most importanrt to least important). I would suggest tha you find a job first, and work at it for 6 months or so, save some money and then look at getting a place, the when you are settled with that you can take a class!


You are about to spread your wings, don't worry everything will work out fine!


*HUGS*


Emma

[lgood22573]

What about your partner? I am sure he or she cares what happens to you.

[violet]

Hey squil,

At the moment Im having to do all of these things now because of my mother moving in with her partner, so everything that I mentioned kinda just happens now..

Im scared yea and things are going a bit mad at the moment, but I feel like I need to get this done, a sense of freedom really, my emet will be a problem I know but if I dont do it then I will end up having to go to england and basically being defeated and letting others take care of me, which I dont think I shoud let happen anymore..

My father is really unwell, looked worse today than he had in a while so I think I should stay around him...

Just had some dinner and eugh still nervous about all the stuff ive came in contact with today, been one of those days that I didnt expect it to be so busy!

lgood, my partner does care for me and we were going to move in together but thats faaar away, not near my father and things may not work out and leave me stuck there, rather try help myself for once lol

I really hope things work ok, I just need something to go right for once x

Thankx to you both for youre replys![img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[sqil30]

Violet you are going to be fine!I know things are crazy right now, but they will make some kind of sense in the future, and everything will fall into place![img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]