cant help loved ones

[kimj]

Hi my name is Kim I have know i have had emetophobia for about 4 years now. but i have never done anything about it.

I had an experiance yesterday and i just need to get
it out to those how will undstand and not think i am odd. Yesterday was
my boyfreinds 21'st birthday. So i spent the day with him and planned
on staying the night. so i had a couple of drings with him then him and
some friends went out to the bars. When he left i went back to his room
and went to bed. but i just laid in bed terrified, what if he comes
home snd is sick what if he is sick in bed, what if his friends get
sick? I tried to talk myself out of it by saying that he doesnt get
sick when he is drunk he just passes out, he will be fine. But it didnt
work i sill layed there tossing and turning.

Then i heard him come home, and he went sraight to
the bathroom, and stayed there. I went out and asked his roomate where
he was and he said he was getting sick in the bathroom. Then the
anxiety really stated to hit me. my heart was pounding, i was
trembling, i had the chills. I wantered around the house for a
while wondering what i was going to do and just being completely
freaked out. I could hear him stumbling around in the bathroom, and i
know he probably wanted nothing more than for me to come in give him
water, comfort him, and put him to bed. But i couldnt. I couldnt help
the man i love. I couldnt go near the bathroom.

I finaly went home because i couldnt be at his
house, but i just laid awake at my house. So i had to go to school on 3
house of sleep and not eating anything because my stomach has been
doing loops all day. It hit me that i need to do something about this.
My 21'st birthday is comming up and how can i expect to have a good
time if i am terrified. I dont know what to do, my boyfriend just
thinks im odd, and i dont blame him.

For all those that read this thank you for listening to my rant, and if anybody has any advice e mail me ae [email protected].



thank you

kim

[sweetfreak]

Hi, kimj. First of all, nice name. My name is kim too and my middle initial is j.


As far as dealing with loved ones and emet, the only thing you can do is try to explain your phobia to them, try to make them understand. Some people just can't. I, too, have gone through times where I couldn't be there for the ones I loved. Usually, they don't understand and get angry with me. But, YOU have to realize, kim, that it is not your fault that you have this phobia. And, someone that truly loves you, will try to understand what you go through as best as they can.


Peace.

[Jenneh]

aww, i dont think u shud beat urself up about not being abl to comfort ur loved one.


even non-emets like my mum avoids the bathroom if anyone is getting sick.. its not a pleasant thing for anyone... and you know, think of it this way... its his fault hes getting sick cos he intoxicated himself... im sure hes not gnna have a grudge against you because u didnt come and comfort him!


plus, its what we all wudda done here... well, a lot of us.


does he know about ur phobia? he may be a good place to start telling people, so that u can reach out, get a therapist and hopefully get some help?


Jen xxxxxxxxxx

[Melikasa]

I am sure he didn't even realize you were awake. So he isn't going to blame you for not coming in. He may have been more comfortable with no one there. I know some people who refuse help and would rather be alone.
It WAS however his own fault and it wasn't like he was suffering from the stomach flu or illness of some kind.
Does he know about your emet. If he does then I am sure that he more than understood that you have a problem with it and would never expect you to come in and I am sure it was no suprise that you left.
I am 25 and still trying to get it all under control I have a husband and a baby and I am determined to not run. It isn't easy I can't not ask if my husband is ok when he gets up in the night. My heart starts to race and all sorts of thought go through my mind and he only has to pee.
Or he goes to bed with a sore stomach and I can't sleep properly because I am wondering if he is going to be sick.
Anyways your reaction wasn't unusual and just because you are 21 doesn't mean that you HAVE to be able to go out and drink and watch people get sick and be ok with it.
Don't beat yourself up hun. Big hugs

[mbs730]

This should make you feel better. My husband was
diagnosed with testicular cancer 6 months ago and luckily nothing had
spread, it was just taken out but he has to be checked every 4 months
to see if anything has come back. They check him by doing a CT scan and
he has been okay so far but if there are cancer cells present again
then he will have to go on radiation. I am the one who is selfish
because instead of worrying about how he is going to be on the
radiation if he were to need it, I am more worried about the fact if he
is going to v around me instead and I have even said to him if he needs
it, he will have to go to his mother's! Terrible of me I know but I
cant help it. Even if he were to be v'ing at the other end of the house
from where I am, I couldnt cope with it.



Miriam

</font>

[kentuckygalrk]

I always feel so bad when someone I love is really sick and I avoid them like the plague and act like they're the most disgusting person in the world. I try to remind myself that it's not their fault and being sick doesn't make you a gross person... it's just a gross experience.


The only time, however, that I simply do notfeel bad at all about being grossed out is when the person is drunk. Face it... if you're dumb enough to get drunk enough that you're going to be throwing up... well then that's yourown dang fault and you can just sit there in the bathroom and suffer alone for all I care. Especially people who do it repeatedly.My brother's done it before a time or twoandI was not about to go in there and comforthim... norwas my mom! She just stood at the door and said "Well... I hope you're having fun!I bet you're proud of yourself now!(He's 24... so it's not like he's underage either) It's just sad... I have notolerance for that kind of thing, emet or not!


We had a girl across thehall fromus in the dorms my freshman year who literallyvomited every couple of thursday nights... once right in front of our door! It was gross... and sheNEVER cleaned up after herself, the poor cleaning lady always had to. Her friends would stand around her and hold her hair and say how sorry they were she was feeling bad... I'm like HELLO!She's just doing that for attention... if you literally can't learn your limits EVER then you're a truly pathetic person!


BLEH&gt;&gt;&gt; You have no reason to feel bad for not being there for him when he wasdrunk!


~Rachel