In Desperate Need Of Help

[domenica]

I really need help with this. Any advice at all would be so GREATLY
appreciated.

I also have the huge phobia of V.....

I am getting married at the end of May. All that my mind is focused
on is getting sick at the altar. The more I think of it the more anxious
I get. Everyday the fear is getting worse and worse and I am getting
to the point of thinking that I am not going to get through it. I know
the anxiety is normal for getting married, but along with anxiety
comes the anxious stomach and that's where my mind runs wild with
WHAT could happen.

I really need to know what to do to get over this. Please help!

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[metallikat87]

first of all, welcome to the site! you'll find a lot of help here and a lot of great people!

second, congratulations! i just got married at the end of october and believe me, the ceremony is over so quick that you don't have time to get n*! just make sure you eat something before you go, otherwise you'll be starving! our ceremony only lasted 10 minutes, and most of the time i wasn't even paying attention to our JP, so it went by even faster. you'll be fine!

[domenica]

Thank you and congrats to you too!!

Im hoping my ceremony lasts only 10 min....I asked the minister to
speak as fast as he could! Its just such a horrible thing to have worry
about and obbsess over on your wedding day. being in front of all
those people....my mind just goes wild with different scenarios.

[emeraldrose]

I felt the same way when I got married, 7 years ago now. It was July, and I got all worked up about it, but the truth is: the ceremony goes by way too fast, and you'll be focused on your future spouse more than you realize. I thought I'd be ill and was irritable toward my father when he tried to calm me down, but once we got up there, I saw my husband, and it all melted away. Eating dinner afterward was hard, but the next day, I was fine.
At least eat a little before you go up there. Deep breathing, and maybe even a mild sedative prescribed by your doctor can help too.
Congrats, and I hope this helped.

[domenica]

Yes...hearing this helps so much! Its nice to know that there are others
out there who have the same phobia as I do and had to go through
what I am afraid of going through. But you made it through without
having to face your phobia, so it gives me hope that I will be the same.
**crossing fingers**

Thank you so much!

[silver]

Trust me, you will get through it-on your wedding day you won't even think about it! I got married almost 4 years ago and I was worked up about stuff too, I think that it comes along with the anxiety of getting married. I was afraid that I would have d* on my wedding day!! Ha!! I even thought seriously about taking immodium just in case! Everything was fine though and I didn't even think about that stuff the day of, wasn't nervous at the alter either. Just keeps your eyes on your adoring husband to be! Congratulations!! If drinking relaxes you, have a half a glass of wine before hand-it worked wonders for me to have a toast with my bridesmaids.

[alwaysafraid]

Welcome to the forum and congratulations! Try not to get too worked up over the ceremony and worrying about v*ing when you're up there. Unless v*ing when you're anxious is normal for you (unlikely for an emet) then you have no reason to believe it will happen then. Focus on your husband and get caught up in the magic of the day. It will go by so fast you won't remember where the time went! I wish you all the best for a perfect wedding day.

[sage]

Hopefully you can share your fears with your minister. I'm a minister and one time I had a bride so anxious (not about vomiting, but just about being in front of people) that she was going to not get married at all! So, as I was a terrible emetophobic most of my life, I totally empathized with the poor woman. In the end, I reassured her that no ceremony is actually necessary. All that needs to happen is that I witness their signatures (along with 2 other witnesses)and we did it in my office. Then on the day we had a joyful wedding procession, and I said a prayer of blessing (very short) when they got to the front and then "pronounced them husband and wife" and out they went. TWO minutes.

They were really appreciative of my creativity around it all. Anyway, the point is - a minister is not a justice of the peace. A minister has the responsibility of "pastoral care" of people. Emphasis on CARE. Explain your situation, and HOW SCARED you are, and he will care. Even just knowing that will make you feel more calm on the day.

And trust me, you will NOT throw up at your own wedding. No emetophobe's body would ever ever in a million years let them do that! But I totally understand you fearing it.

Take care and all the best on your wedding day!

[domenica]

Hello!! Thank you to all of you who replied to my post!! I had my wedding last week....I kept all of your advice in mind....and the wedding and my nerves and belly went smoothly! I had the best day ever and thank you for helping me to get through it!

xoxo