Semi-Recovered (no abbreviations)

[jmdonofrio]

I have decided that I can officially delcare myself a "semi-recovered" emet.

How is this possible? Well I've come to accept the fact that vomiting is apart of life. There will come a day - could be tomorrow, could be fifty years from now - that I need to vomit. And if I TRULY need to do so, there will be NOTHING that will be able to stop it. I found that accepting this fact is a huge part of recovering. It's almost like when dealing with a loss, or if you suffer from alcoholism.. acceptance is the first step.

When I feel nauseous does it still make me anxious inside? Absolutely. At first I tend to have quite a bit of a freak out (always in my head though) but after a few minutes I learn to co-exist with my nausea and not let it be the entirety of whatever I'm doing at the moment. It could hit while I'm in class or at work, just about anywhere, and in the past I would usually get up an leave almost instantaneously. I've trained myself to just be accepting and almost say "Alright, you're nauseous. So what? You probably won't throw up but if you need to, you have access to a bathroom and trashcans, so just direct your attention to the task at hand." I'm not looking forward to the next time I have to vomit by any means, but I really just have given up on dwelling on it every 30 seconds because it has done nothing good for me in my whole entire life.

So no, I'm not fully recovered because I still am afraid of it and the thought of it makes me anxious. I've learned the differences between true nausea and anxiety nausea, an upset stomach and a nervous stomach, and learning these things have been a big aid in trying to recover. I am no longer afraid of other people or babies being sick (unless it's something I may catch but even then, I remember that good hygiene is my best defense) which is a big step for me.

Hopefully I'll be able to keep going with my progress thread and make more posts like these. I know I'll still have some set backs because you can't make progress without making a mistake or two every now and then.

Good luck to those who are just beginning their recovery journey and to those who are in the middle of their battle just as I am. If anyone ever needs some support, please feel free to PM me. I have my phone on me 24/7 and am constantly lurking on IES. Also, my AIM is in my profile and I'm always on so never be afraid to ask for some support. Lastly, please feel free to follow my progress thread (link in my signature). I update just about every day

[turbokinetic]

Great to see that you're feeling some release from this phobia! Keep it up!
Sincerely,
David

[jmdonofrio]

Thank you David!

[mama]

Learning to enjoy the bit inbetween is where I am now. Amazing post, lovelt to read. I absolutley love your first paragraph

[kellybeth]

I feel like I am right about where you are. Things that would have sent me running no longer do. I'm still afraid of it but not enough to ruin every part of my life. It is a great feeling to be somewhat "free" of this phobia. I still have it, but like you I can better deal with it.
Good luck to you. Keep up the good work!!