taking some risks

[eyecandi512]

Hey guys, sorry i've been so quiet this week, I have had so much school work to do from midterms. But, I just wanted to tell everyone that I'm actually doing really well. Last weekend my boyfriend asked me if I would consider going out to his friends bar in NYC fro Halloween. I first flat out refused, but he talked to my best friend to try and talk me into it. I might be going, it's on Saturday, i'm still very nervous, but every thinks it would be good for me. I'm excited I might go.


I also made 3 friends at school. I am doing a project with them and we had to meet at their apartment. I kept puttin goff going and was considering doing the project alone, but I went, and they even made tacos and I ate some.


I've been very sad b/c I miss my friends frommy other college and now they're all quite far from me. So my boyfriend sad we could go visit for the weekend. I am going away for the whole weekend to see my friends! I'll probably even go to a couple parties and might even have a beer or so. I'm really trying here!


Just wanted to let everyone know b/c I was really excited!


Hope everyone is doing/feeling well!


Danielle

[crazybeautiful]

Good job! Sounds like you are doing well and going in the rigth direction!

[Jenneh]

that is excellent progress....


welldone for trying to hard!


Jen xxxx

[kellybean]

Sounds like fun, hope you enjoy yourself!!

[terified girl]

Have a great time and tell us all about it when you come back!!!

[alliecat]

Good job girl! I'm so proud of you!

[r311dude]

I'm hella green right now and I'm not sick; filled with envy. That rocks soo hard!! I mean, my house is shaking. Here's an affirmation, instead of calling them risks, call the steps towards progression, or steps towards me ridding myself of emet. =) G'luck with everything. You can do it!!

[eyecandi512]

Ok, well, I DID IT!! I completely wanted to flake out on the bar last night, and my boyfriend was worried Iwas so nervous, but I went anyway. I sat in the corner at the bar next to my boyfriend bartending for most of the beginning of the night b/c i didnt know anyone. Then some guys started buying me drinks, my boyfriend started to get mad, but he played into it, giving me juat diet cokes to drink. Then he kept staring at the guys talking to me, and finally the guys talking would asked if him and I were together and they'd back off. My boyfriend felt bad so he gave them a couple shots before they left. I always refused the shots they were going to buy me. then I went to the bathroom and I had to pass throught he dance floor. Some guys started grabbing at me so I started to dance and I had a lot of fun. I was a little newrvous people would be throwing up in the bathroom b/c everyone was drinking....a lot! But i don't think anyone did/was so I went on my way. John's friends came and I actually had a lot of fun with them. They all remembered my name (I always think people don't remember my name) and included me in everything. Then I was talking to them and i even DIDA SHOT!! I've NEVER taken a shot befor ein my life and I was so proud of myself. My boyfriend was SHOCKED. Afterwards my stomach hurt a little, but I'm sure it was just anxiety, I rationed with myself that one little shot would NOT make me sick and that people were drinking 20 of them and not getting sick. I worked through it. I comtemplated taking another one or even drinking a beer, but I didn't. I was scared, but this one shot was such a big step for me.Not to mention even being there was a big step. Then after we got back at 5am, we went to a diner and I ate a taylor ham and cheese sandwich, I've never had one before, but my boyfriend got one and I tried it and really liked it, even though it was greesy and stuff.


I am quite proud of myself. I just wanted everyone to know how it turned out!!!


Thank for listening and being so supportive, I couldnt do it without you guys!!![img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[r311dude]

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is so awesome, see, now you know you can do that. Now you can pretty much do anything. I like how you stayed rational with yourself. I did that once when I was at a party 2 hours away..i did the same thing..just took one shot..hah well congrats on your accomplishment!

[mbs730]

Danielle that is AWESOME!! Good job!! You did it and you deserve to give yourself a LOT of credit for facing this! Great stuff and I bet anything you could do it again!


Miriam

[eyecandi512]

Thanks guys!! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img] I think I'll try to stay drinking a little and maybe i'll be a normal 20 year old. If I can just drink slow, rationalize and relax....maybe I can go out to a bar with friends and have a couple drinks. I know it's kind of silly to have a goal of drinking alcohol, but it is part of this phobia that prevents me from being with friends and maybe engaging in something will will relax me and allow me to socialize. right? It's not like I want to be an alcohol, or drink like i saw everyone else drinking....but I would like to be able to have a few to maybe ease my social phobia and mabe get people to like me more and not think I have a stick up my butt.