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  1. #1
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    Default Anyone ever just got fed up and overcame it?

    I know quite a few of you had therapy or slowly worked your way up to doing different things in order to overcome this phobia for good, or at least to a certain degree. As someone put it perfectly in their success story: "choose to live."

    I also see a lot of you very upset, frustrated, and angry...completely fed up of living like this and wishing it didn't have to be this way because there are so many things you could be doing. It makes me sad to read, even though I can identify with some of the fears that are at the same level as mine at this point.

    Has anyone every thought about just saying "F##k it!! and not caring anymore? You know when you just get so mad about something that you just snap? Do you ever think that maybe after enough meltdowns, you'll realize that this isn't a life worth living? Has this epiphany ever happened to anyone?

    I apologize in advance if this is in the wrong forum, but I wanted this to focus on the frustration and using it in a positive way. This doesn't mean giving up hand washing or food safety or being germaphobes - I know plenty of people who are NOT emets who are normal and healthy and care about these things. I'm talking about going ahead and doing things that we want to do...whether it's get on that plane, eat sushi, take that job, get pregnant, go to Six Flags, or go out to a club on New Year's Eve. I'm talking about just LIVING. The choice really is ours, after all.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Anyone ever just got fed up and overcame it?

    I was at that point a long time ago and I don't allow myself to live in fear everyday (my psychologist was glad to hear that), but when someone does get s* near me, that's what causes me to panic. So, that's what I'm working on now. But YES, you can just say, "that's it, I'm over it." And you SHOULD - as long as you do in a "safe" way (allow yourself an out if you get overwhelmed). Take babysteps.

    I used to be afraid to eat sushi. Now I eat a few kinds. My favorite is a California Roll.
    I've been through 2 pregnancies (despite my phobia) and didn't v* during either!
    I go to amusement parks (and just pray no one gets s* near me!)

    But, I have to overcome my panic before I can do my dream job - teaching elementary school. I want to get my teaching certification so I can teach elementary education in my state, but I'm afraid because I KNOW a kid will get s* in my class sooner or later and I'm afraid if I freak out, every kid in my class will become an emet. So, I'm doing what I can to overcome my fear so I can reach taht goal someday.

    I think it does help to get ticked off at your fear and to realize that it isn't welcome in your life anymore.

    We can be ticked off and heal together!
    Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear. ~Ambrose Redmoon

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Anyone ever just got fed up and overcame it?

    I've sort of done that before. There have been times when I said 'i don't care, I'm going to this buffet party/whatever'
    but usually it just freaks me out more afterwards...
    "Here in the final draft, I've given all I have,
    Strange how the heart expands in the absence of a plan,
    There's nothing left on the page but I'm okay with that,
    I found my resolution was designed for stronger hands"

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Anyone ever just got fed up and overcame it?

    In a way that is how I started becoming cured of emetophobia.

    A few years ago I was in bad shape, I took anti emetics all day, had huge panic attacks, couldn't be around anyone, didn't eat anything and lost weight and couldn't leave the house. Well my Dr gave me a few different pills to try and the last one gave me a bad reaction. I was dry heaving, bawling my eyes out and completely terrified. It turned my life around though. It was like a little lightbulb pinged and I said to myself 'I can't wait around for these people to cure me, I have to cure myself'

    So I started going out a little at a time, eating a little at a time and here I am now. I like to call myself 90% cured because if I actually have to throw up it will cause me to panic at first. I didn't exactly cure myself as I had my mum, my friends and my gf all pushing me through at various stages. Telling me that even though I was scared I should do it anyway.

    I rarely have panic attacks and in fact rarely even think about whether or not I am exposed unless I actually have been. (this last week for example lol) I just got fed up waiting for people who knew nothing about emet or how to help me to fix what was wrong so devised my own way of doing it lol.
    Be courageous, believe in yourself, and be the best woman you can be. I'm with you all the way.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Anyone ever just got fed up and overcame it?

    Quote Originally Posted by bjeanfritz View Post
    I was at that point a long time ago and I don't allow myself to live in fear everyday (my psychologist was glad to hear that), but when someone does get s* near me, that's what causes me to panic. So, that's what I'm working on now.
    This is my main problem right now! Of course I will have anxiety if I am knowingly exposed to a stomach virus, but the main thing I dwell on is seeing v* or being present when someone is being ill. It seems especially hard because it's something that is gross and unpleasant for EVERYONE - even those who don't fear it. It's not like being afraid of a spider, where all you'd have to do is change your perception to a positive one. (I'm sure there are many people who study spiders and find them beautiful creatures.) So I guess the only answer is indifference. We don't have to like it, because we're never going to. But we don't have to care so much about it either.

    Thanks for your responses so far, everyone. Sometimes I do feel like that is really the only way to get over this, or maybe any fear. I mean, it is mentally exhausting to go through all of this, day in and day out. It's depressing to remember all of the things you missed throughout your life, especially when you have progressed since then and you know you would never be afraid to do those things now - only too little too late and those opportunities are gone.

    P.S. Bjeanfritz, please let me know how you are working on the fear of others.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Anyone ever just got fed up and overcame it?

    While dealing with the painful emotions that contributed to the phobia is the best way to be "cured" there is certainly merit in what you're suggesting. In fact, I think it's an important part of one's recovery. Behaviorists would say that's the only way to do it and I disagree with that. But this is a really good question and I'm glad you asked it. The responses are awesome!
    For more info about emetophobia and treatment:

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    DISCLAIMER ~ Any advice I give on this forum is well-intentioned and given as to a peer or friend or for educational purposes. It does not in any way constitute psychotherapeutic or medical advice. Please discuss anything you may learn from my posts with your doctor and psychotherapist prior to making any decisions or changes or taking any actions.



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  7. #7
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    Default Re: Anyone ever just got fed up and overcame it?

    That's what I'm trying to do. I'm just sick of it all. It's stupid to let this rule my life. I have so much anxiety that I will just randomly get sick..it's just silly. Like I just ate supper and now I have to go to class, and I already feel sick because I'm afraid I will get sick in class (I usually never eat less than 3 hrs before a class, but my iron was low) Like, why would I randomly get sick in class when all day I have felt awesome? It's just so frustrating! But it's like getting fed up doesn't work for me..or I'm not doing it right. Idk, I just want this to be gone and I'm not gonna give up.
    Congrats to everyone this has helped! I hope I can help myself, too!
    “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”

    “We are the girls with anxiety disorders, filled appointment books, five-year plans. We take ourselves very, very seriously. We are the peacemakers, the do-gooders, the givers, the savers. We are on time, overly prepared, well read, and witty, intellectually curious, always moving. We pride ourselves on getting as little sleep as possible and thrive on self-deprivation. We drink coffee, a lot of it. We are on birth control, Prozac, and multivitamins. We are relentless, judgmental with ourselves, and forgiving to others. We never want to be as passive-aggressive as our mothers, never want to marry men as uninspired as our fathers. We are the daughters of the feminists who said, “You can be anything,” and we heard, “You have to be everything.”

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Anyone ever just got fed up and overcame it?

    Quote Originally Posted by crd08 View Post
    Like I just ate supper and now I have to go to class, and I already feel sick because I'm afraid I will get sick in class (I usually never eat less than 3 hrs before a class, but my iron was low) Like, why would I randomly get sick in class when all day I have felt awesome? It's just so frustrating!
    A long time ago, I saw a therapist and talked to her about being emetophobic - didn't exactly say I was because I didn't know what it was at the time, but told her I always had a fear of getting sick, etc. She told me something that makes sense to me now, but I couldn't quite grasp at the time. Maybe because my anxiety had been worse or because I was younger. But she said, "Let's look at the law of averages. How many times have you ever been sick in public?" I had to answer: none. She asked me how many times I had ever been sick all of the times I feared I would be. I had to answer "none" once again. Then she asked me if a serious gambler who studies odds would ever place a bet on me getting sick in a certain situation, given the odds and the law of averages. I told her "absolutely not would they bet on it to happen."

    I only had a few sessions with her because I was a poor college student at the time, but I felt like this was the most interesting and helpful thing she said to me. It helps because it makes sense. You just have to get your brain to see the logic in it.

  9. #9

    Default Re: Anyone ever just got fed up and overcame it?

    I think I'm experiencing that now. I've pretty much realized that I am wasting me life on a petty fear that doesn't eve happen that often. I'm beginning to rationalize the whole v* experience and I'm really beginning to understand why I am afraid and why I shouldn't be.

    1. When you v* and you do it naturally, it happens quickly and makes you feel better.
    2. If you get sick, you can't stop yourself from v* so why even fret over it?
    3. Usually when you are sick friends and family are always around to help you.
    4. I've been sick and v* before and I wasn't scared then, so why be scared now?
    5. You rarely vomit anyway.
    6. It's way easier to just forget about it and live your life.
    7. You only have a tight throat and feel bad when you get anxious.
    8. You only get anxious when you think about feeling bad.

    Thinking these things calms me down when I start to get anxious, and I'm really starting to relax more. I know that the day that I finally get sick will be the day my anxiety will disappear and I will be cured.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Anyone ever just got fed up and overcame it?

    Quote Originally Posted by alexikiss View Post
    A long time ago, I saw a therapist and talked to her about being emetophobic - didn't exactly say I was because I didn't know what it was at the time, but told her I always had a fear of getting sick, etc. She told me something that makes sense to me now, but I couldn't quite grasp at the time. Maybe because my anxiety had been worse or because I was younger. But she said, "Let's look at the law of averages. How many times have you ever been sick in public?" I had to answer: none. She asked me how many times I had ever been sick all of the times I feared I would be. I had to answer "none" once again. Then she asked me if a serious gambler who studies odds would ever place a bet on me getting sick in a certain situation, given the odds and the law of averages. I told her "absolutely not would they bet on it to happen."

    I only had a few sessions with her because I was a poor college student at the time, but I felt like this was the most interesting and helpful thing she said to me. It helps because it makes sense. You just have to get your brain to see the logic in it.
    Thanks, and it's very true! Everytime I think I might be sick, i'm fine. I'm just gonna keep telling myself that! I think my phobia started when I was sick in school as a child, so it stuck.

    I'm a poor college student too, or I would love to see a therapist. Maybe some day.
    “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”

    “We are the girls with anxiety disorders, filled appointment books, five-year plans. We take ourselves very, very seriously. We are the peacemakers, the do-gooders, the givers, the savers. We are on time, overly prepared, well read, and witty, intellectually curious, always moving. We pride ourselves on getting as little sleep as possible and thrive on self-deprivation. We drink coffee, a lot of it. We are on birth control, Prozac, and multivitamins. We are relentless, judgmental with ourselves, and forgiving to others. We never want to be as passive-aggressive as our mothers, never want to marry men as uninspired as our fathers. We are the daughters of the feminists who said, “You can be anything,” and we heard, “You have to be everything.”

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Anyone ever just got fed up and overcame it?

    Quote Originally Posted by crd08 View Post
    Thanks, and it's very true! Everytime I think I might be sick, i'm fine. I'm just gonna keep telling myself that! I think my phobia started when I was sick in school as a child, so it stuck.

    I'm a poor college student too, or I would love to see a therapist. Maybe some day.
    I'm glad if this helps you a bit, or at least gives you something to think about. Or try to step outside of yourself and pretend it's someone else with the problem. You'd probably reassure them, "Hey, you never get sick - it's just nerves, this happens every day! Come on, you know nothing ever happens."

  12. #12
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    Default Re: Anyone ever just got fed up and overcame it?

    Quote Originally Posted by FunLuvinGurl27 View Post
    I think I'm experiencing that now. I've pretty much realized that I am wasting me life on a petty fear that doesn't eve happen that often. I'm beginning to rationalize the whole v* experience and I'm really beginning to understand why I am afraid and why I shouldn't be.

    1. When you v* and you do it naturally, it happens quickly and makes you feel better.
    2. If you get sick, you can't stop yourself from v* so why even fret over it?
    3. Usually when you are sick friends and family are always around to help you.
    4. I've been sick and v* before and I wasn't scared then, so why be scared now?
    5. You rarely vomit anyway.
    6. It's way easier to just forget about it and live your life.
    7. You only have a tight throat and feel bad when you get anxious.
    8. You only get anxious when you think about feeling bad.

    Thinking these things calms me down when I start to get anxious, and I'm really starting to relax more. I know that the day that I finally get sick will be the day my anxiety will disappear and I will be cured.
    Thanks for posting this, I think this is helpful too. It goes along with what I was saying. Everyone can personalize the list to our own needs/fears.

  13. #13
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    Default Re: Anyone ever just got fed up and overcame it?

    Yes! I am doing this right now. Like it was said above, I just use logic in every situation I am afraid of, and I never let the fear win. If I am afraid to eat at a certain place, I just remind myself of the thousands who have eaten here and not gotten sick. I also remind myself that i have been through food poisoning and viruses without v*ing at all. As a matter of fact, its been 27 years since I have. So am not likely to get sick now, and if I did, I would live through it. My fear can build up so huge that I dont want to leave my house, but I have never cancelled anything because of feeling sick or anxious, I haul my butt out of the house and go no matter how terrified I may be. Sometimes I panic the whole time anyway, but at least i went, right? But sometimes, I end up having a great time. A few weeks ago my workplace was hit with a sv, and good 12-15 people were down with it. But I didnt call in sick to avoid it (as much as wanted to) I just went in, didnt touch anything and kept clean. I didnt get it.

    In the times out when i do encounter v*, I have learned to calmly excuse myself from the situation, that was a real rough one to master. I dont know how I would react to a situation where i couldnt get away though.

    I have to say that i am still scared to death, but i wont let it get the better of me. I figure if I keep fighting it, that it may fade away slowly. So far so good. I just hope that i am a little less scared soon.

    -Kim

  14. #14
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    Default Re: Anyone ever just got fed up and overcame it?

    Definitely. In fact I was thinking about this last night on my way out of the shower and thinking I should post something about it but I wasnt sure what sort of reaction it would get. Seems to me its getting a positive reaction! I think my fear is not as full blown as some of the people on here. (For example I eat sushi whenever the heck I feel like it because I love it and its delicious--and Ive never gotten sick from it). I am a boarderline compulsive handwasher but I still dont think Im as bad as others on this site. Seeing how bad this phobia can get makes me want to just stop caring. Im trying this new thing where whenever my tummy starts to hurt, whether it be from acid reflux, or cramps, or n* I just say to myself "this is great, this is awesome". Even though its not. It sucks. But I think if I tell myself something enough times maybe Ill start to believe it.

  15. #15
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    Default Re: Anyone ever just got fed up and overcame it?

    Quote Originally Posted by cactusinmyhead View Post
    Im trying this new thing where whenever my tummy starts to hurt, whether it be from acid reflux, or cramps, or n* I just say to myself "this is great, this is awesome". Even though its not. It sucks. But I think if I tell myself something enough times maybe Ill start to believe it.
    Haha, that's funny! I often wondered what would happen if I just made a sarcastic joke out of everything bad, if it would help. Let's see how it goes!

  16. #16
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    Default Re: Anyone ever just got fed up and overcame it?

    I feel like this. But it's hard- when cramps & nausea start in the middle of town, it's hard not to care. But one day, it may work!

  17. #17
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    Default Re: Anyone ever just got fed up and overcame it?

    I'm beginning to feel this way right now. I can't take it anymore, its like one day I'm like, that's it I'm over it what happens happens, and then it creeps up on me again. I hate going to the amusement park with my fiance b/c I feel like such a bore, he'll go on all the rollercoasters and I'll just stand back and watch him and admire those that go and are fearless. I keep telling myself its all in my head. Sorry if I'm rambling on, but I remember a couple yrs ago I went to the theme park with my sister and she made me go on a wooden rollercoaster, the whole time I was sitting there I kept thinking I hope I don't v*, and I didn't! I probably would've actually enjoyed the ride if it weren't for my foolish thoughts. Now I look back and am like it really wasn't that bad.

  18. #18
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    Default Re: Anyone ever just got fed up and overcame it?

    I'm getting much better at overcoming emet.
    I'm still scared of seeing others get s* and I still freak out,
    but now I can:
    -eat at restaurants
    -stop worrying about someone having sv* because if they did, why would they be in public? I just keep telling myself that
    -I personally love roller coasters and don't know how i'd ever live without them. Haha
    -I wash my hands a lot but not as m,ucha s i usd to

  19. #19
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    Default Re: Anyone ever just got fed up and overcame it?

    I am not completely cured by any means, but i'm doing soooo much better!

    It's because one day I just decided that I was SICK and TIRED and PISSED OFF, because this phobia was controlling my life!

    My advice is that the day you get a little mad about this controlling your life, go out side and scream and cus something along the linkes "I am so PISSED that this F***ing thing is DESTROYING my whole DA*NED LIFE!

    And every time the phobia almost holds you back from doing something, do this again! Then go do the thing you were afraid of!

    Haha it sounds stupid but it works for me!
    "Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon everything's different."

  20. #20
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    Default Re: Anyone ever just got fed up and overcame it?

    dancinintherain, very good suggestion, I plan to try it

  21. #21
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    Default Re: Anyone ever just got fed up and overcame it?

    Right now I am having an awful battle with Emet. My fears are stronger than ever before. But I am so determined to not let this anxiety take over my life again.
    ~*~*~*~*~*I'm a girl with Emetophobia... It's life~*~*~*~*~*~

  22. #22

    Default Re: Anyone ever just got fed up and overcame it?

    Quote Originally Posted by bjeanfritz View Post
    I was at that point a long time ago and I don't allow myself to live in fear everyday (my psychologist was glad to hear that), but when someone does get s* near me, that's what causes me to panic. So, that's what I'm working on now. But YES, you can just say, "that's it, I'm over it." And you SHOULD - as long as you do in a "safe" way (allow yourself an out if you get overwhelmed). Take babysteps.

    I used to be afraid to eat sushi. Now I eat a few kinds. My favorite is a California Roll.
    I've been through 2 pregnancies (despite my phobia) and didn't v* during either!
    I go to amusement parks (and just pray no one gets s* near me!)

    But, I have to overcome my panic before I can do my dream job - teaching elementary school. I want to get my teaching certification so I can teach elementary education in my state, but I'm afraid because I KNOW a kid will get s* in my class sooner or later and I'm afraid if I freak out, every kid in my class will become an emet. So, I'm doing what I can to overcome my fear so I can reach taht goal someday.

    I think it does help to get ticked off at your fear and to realize that it isn't welcome in your life anymore.

    We can be ticked off and heal together!
    Hi! If this helps, I've been a teacher for 7 years and NEVER had somebody get sick in my room! =)

  23. #23
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    Default Re: Anyone ever just got fed up and overcame it?

    I try to live life, when my anxiety does tries to hold me back, I say to myself, I want to live, have kids, be happy and normal and for the most part I am.
    My poor little nephew has been ill for 5 days (not sure if its a virus but he has had v* and d*) and all I wanted to to was hug him and hope that that might make him feel better, so I did! I push myself to do this kinda stuff cause I think it makes me stronger!

  24. #24
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    Default Re: Anyone ever just got fed up and overcame it?

    i push myself a lot too even if i feel uncomfortable with something. im trying really hard not to catastrophise things and im also trying not to make big deals out of things. so for example if people feel ill or what ever, instead of going on and on and reliving the experience, what they said, what time it was blah blah blah, im just trying to be like - ok well so and so felt ill, was ill etc but thats ok.

    its our perception of vomiting that is screwed up. not the actual act of vomiting. so im working really hard to try and be OK with it. to accept it.

    FunLuvinGurl27 - your points are similar to the things im trying to convince myself of too ;-)

    keep up the hard but good work everyone

    Emmax

  25. #25
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    Default Re: Anyone ever just got fed up and overcame it?

    I got fed up with the phobia, but that in NO way helped me overcome it.

  26. #26

    Default Re: Anyone ever just got fed up and overcame it?

    Quote Originally Posted by FunLuvinGurl27 View Post
    I think I'm experiencing that now. I've pretty much realized that I am wasting me life on a petty fear that doesn't eve happen that often. I'm beginning to rationalize the whole v* experience and I'm really beginning to understand why I am afraid and why I shouldn't be.

    1. When you v* and you do it naturally, it happens quickly and makes you feel better.
    2. If you get sick, you can't stop yourself from v* so why even fret over it?
    3. Usually when you are sick friends and family are always around to help you.
    4. I've been sick and v* before and I wasn't scared then, so why be scared now?
    5. You rarely vomit anyway.
    6. It's way easier to just forget about it and live your life.
    7. You only have a tight throat and feel bad when you get anxious.
    8. You only get anxious when you think about feeling bad.

    Thinking these things calms me down when I start to get anxious, and I'm really starting to relax more. I know that the day that I finally get sick will be the day my anxiety will disappear and I will be cured.
    This is what I TRY to say to myself all the time, but somehow when I go out to eat at a restaurant, this all goes out the window. What pisses me off the most about this phobia is that I KNOW it's something that is uncontrollable, and I KNOW that after all my times eating out in my lifetime (and as my mom said in her lifetime) it's happened once or twice. So why the H*ll am I afraid!? Ugh.

 

 

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