Hi. Sorry I seem to be starting loads of posts at the moment but I have the need to post! I am so scared about tomorrow. I have a mass and i've promised myself that i will goto it. I told my mum which was a bad idea cause she is pressurising me about it now and will make it harder to miss it if I have too. The mass starts at 10:00 but I have to be there at 9:30. I normally dont go to school till 12:30. Its going to be very scarry. I havent been feeling well for the last few days so there is a chance that I will feel ill. It would be better if I was feeling ok myself. I usually have a fear of others. Anyway after a nasty experiance before I am petrifyed of people getting ill during the mass. And it not a case of people might get ill, they willget ill and about 3 people have to leave every mass. I always manage to sit by the door but what if we a re late geting there and theres no where for me to sit?? What do I do then cause there is no way that i'm going to sit anywhere else. I'm planning to sit out side for most of the mass but what if someone v* outside. How will I cope with that??? That hasnt happened yet but it might. urgh it was a bad idea suggesting i do this. And I dont have to do it either but I feel so great afterwards when its all over that I get a real kick out of it. Also there is usually a caring teacher that come tocheck on me and I ahte to sound wierd but I quite like the attention and that fact that people care and feel sorry for me. That usually doesnt happen. my parents dont understand that well and threes no use talking to my friends. Am I mad doing this? I fee llike I am but if I go through it I will feel great and it might shift my bout of depression. On the other ahnd, I coudl personally feel ill and maybe even v* from the stress etc. or someone could v* near me when i'm outside. urgh I hate this