ruining my relationship with my boyfriend

[Ggirl]

last night i stayed at my boyfriends house, though i didnt want to i hadnt been feeling well all afternoon, but he guilt tripped me.
I felt sicker and sicker as the night wore on and finally went down stairs quietly to v*
i totally freaked out, i hate being sick full stop but at other peoples houses it terrorfies me, so i woke up his parents and made his dad drive me home.
I feel awful about it, because his dad had to get up 4 hours later to drop his wife off to the airport. but at the time all that my mind was saying was fight or flight
I ran upstairs grabbed my things leaving my bf bewildered as to what was going on.
he was so angry. He begged me to stay but i couldnt, i dont like to be touched when im sick at all. i needed the comfort of my bedroom and being alone.

im so sick of emetaphobia ruining things
its ruining things between me and my bf, he says i complain about feeling sick all the time
theres always something wrong with me.

[afraidnp]

I understand how your feeling all too well, its been months and months since I stayed at my bf house because of this phobia... I'm terrified of waking up sick at someones house and not having the comfort of my family and home... I have managed to start staying out though... I had to explain to my ex and to my new boyfriend how terrified I really am and why I'm always feeling sick, that my anxiety makes me constantly nauseous and when I'm pressured into staying over it only gets worse...
I got them to read some information about Emetophobia and how bad it really is for some people... some guys are more understanding than others but once they had seen me panic they realised how real it was...
I made their bedrooms more homely to me, brought dvd's that distract me, keep mints and gum at their houses,... etc... can u try this?

[Ggirl]

i never realised how many people have this problem, i thought i was just weird and abnormal,
though it is a horrible thing to go through and i would never wish it on anybody, i feel alittle more normal knowing their a people out there like me.

I usually take a sketch book to his house, and some coloured pencils. it makes me feel better though i always have my phone on just in case i need to go home. and i have to sleep on my side of the bed other wise i feel strange.

[catlobster]

Honestly, as one poster had put in another forum, emet is a "quirk". It's part of who you are. "Hi, my name is Sue, I like long walks on the beach, good books, and I'm petrified of V*". We can lament how our fear ruins our lives, or we can simply accept that it is part of what makes us who we are. That being said, if your BF doesn't accept that being alone when you're ill is what you *need*, and he doesn't support you in your fear, he isn't accepting you for who you truely are. If he was terrified of say... spiders... would you bring home a pet tarantula? Our phobia is no different. We know its stupid and pointless, as most phobias are, but we feel the same regardless.

Yes, there will be times where you will bolt out of a BF's house because he drank too much and got ill, or you're just not feeling well, but the next day, a persone who truely loves and respects you will get you a coffee (or tea, or hot cocoa), kiss your forehead, and laugh it off.

Ps- afraidnp, your quote is totally awesome.

[Ggirl]

I guess ive never really seen it like that its always felt like a hindrance to me.
though i see your point.
my bf knows it makes me uncomfortable, but i dont think he really understands how much it scares me.
i try to explain but he doesnt seem to get it.

[x...RaChE...x]

Wow I'm surprised how amazing you handled this... I once went to a friends house to stay over and the anxiety kicked in and I cried untill I rang my mum at midnight... I was such a fool. But to actually BE sick at someone elses house, you are strong Id write more on how it shouldn't ruin your relationship but there was some pretty good points made above, good luck

[Ggirl]

since this incedent happended im back at my bf place and im feeling really proud of my self, even though i was worried sick that i would get sick again.
I brought along some things to make me feel more at home at his place, and things seem to be going ok.
I made my bf read some information on emets and he sort of gets it now, tho he finds it hard to understand.
He thought it was because of him that i ran away.
We laughed about it afterwards and im enjoying my time here again.

[tman563]

Nothing at all is wrong with you! Don't think that.

While it is unfortunate that this made your boyfriend mad, he was probably just upset about how abruptly you left, and that he didn't get any notification about you leaving.

You two should use this to talk about what both of you should do in future situations that might be similar. Maybe he can arrange certain at the house a certain way to help you incase you have an attack, or maybe you can decide on a way to communicate to him during an attack. Kind of like a protocol.

[afraidnp]

Great to here the advice helped!

[Ggirl]

Thanks so much for the advice it really helped : )