What a relief...
I just started therapy today and was told that I am in fact NOT ridiculous and that emetophobia is an honest to horriblness phobia. I just thought I was being unreasonable when I cant help but plug my ears and sing, curl up in a ball, squeeze my eyes closed, and run away from my own children! I know almost everyone around me thinks I'm crazy. I love my kids though especially, my oldest is basically used to the fact that I won't be near him when he's stomach sick. But anyways... here are my dilemmas:
*above mentioned child is a picky eater. He will make himself gag...
*I do run from my own children when they are sick. It makes me feel horrible. They however, are troopers.
*Their father is good with it, and I have learned to accept cleaning it... but ONLY my children's.
* Above mentioned baby daddy and I are breaking up...hence leaving me alone with my kids during the up coming flu season (I feel so selfish to even think this way)
*I am going to school to be a nurse. I have worked in direct care for 10 years and I have had my share of incidents, but usually I am very lucky. I have had great coworkers and I can handle diarrhea like a champ. (Gross I know, but that's the trade off and for me it's worth it)
*I love what I do. I love working with people and working in health care, and to get to what I really want to be in life I need to GET OVER THIS.
I am starting treatment ASAP. Something called EDMR? EMDR? Anyways, that is in the process of being worked out.
As far as myself, I can pretty much hold myself pretty well. I will avoid it at all costs. I have found that mental talk, sipping small amounts of water and relaxation breathing help me not do it. It's rare for me to do it, but I'm scared all the time it will happen. Especially in public or in class. I always make sure I know where the nearest exit is or bathroom. Doing it in public=my greatest fear.
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good luck 
