i am sick of living like this

[tb82]

first thank god i found this place i need someone who understands me i have a huge problem with this disease i think my case is pretty bad i wake up eat the same thing everyday due to i am faceing this fear of throwing up with stomach problems its so hard my stomach hurts all the time when i feel like i am going to throw up i cry shake and become completely terrified but thank god i dont throw up i refuse to go in pulbic for the most part scared to catch something and when people come to see me i make sure they r not sick i will not touch my food with my hands at all i hate rideing in the car most of the time i am depressed because i love to do things but cant i always say to my self u dont wanna get sick do u my boyfriend does support me and helps me get out of house from time to time god love him for sticking with such a mess my nutrition is very poor and i cant change the way i eat because this fear is overwelming so i am on all kinds of crap from the doctor for my eating habitats but i am witout insurance so seeing a smart doctor is pretty much out of reach i realy fear that i am killing myself realy slowly i dont know where to start to help myself let me put it this way i would reather die than throw up everyday i eat nutter butter hint of lime tortia chips and chicken nuggets and fries thats all i can eat sometimes i feel like someone need to slap me and say stop look at yourself but it does not matter fear is a hard thing to overcome thank u for reading this i needed to get it off my chest

[olschesky]

welcome to the forum and i hope you find some comfort here...it's been very helpful to me.

first off the foods that you are eating could very well be causing you to not feel well..........you really need to get some real nutrition in your body. if you have trouble eating try the shakes.......like ensure or something....or make yourself healthy smoothies with fruit and frozen yogurt.

try and find a good free clinic....or close to free. i think being on an antidepressant would help with your obessive thoughts.....i know it works for me.

you've got to work hard to get over this rough spot.....push yourelf everyday......you can get better......or atleast in a better place......

i know how you feel i would much rather have an arm cut off than v....

good luck......

[Peter]

Welcome, hang in there and hope you find some measure of comfort from this site.