Question for Sage

[2jo2]

I've started therapy specifically for this phobia and I'm doing talk therapy, going to start EMDR soon-ish and I'm having my meds re-evaluated next Monday. I feel like there is hope, which I haven't felt in a long time. My question is about treatment... you say in your essay that you posted that you have no diagnosable anxiety anymore, and I want to know what I can expect from therapy. Given a scenario that normally an emet would freak out and panic, like say, your husband is ill with a virus in the middle of the night, now that you are emet free, you just roll over and go back to sleep? Is that what I'm to strive for? Is that possible? Do you still do the things that you did as an emet? Hand washing, watching people for signs, etc. or does that disappear too? I'm at the point where I am afraid of getting cured, but excited at the same time. I would like for nothing more than to have this phobia gone, for me to be "normal", to enjoy things, enjoy people, not have my mind occupied 24/7 with this phobia, although being cured means I will have to confront these things and some day face them. It's a double-edged sword it seems! I want to know if you achieved that when you say you have no diagnoseable anxiety. I find it hard to imagine life without doing these rituals I have, as I have OCD and a major issue with contamination. Would you elaborate a bit on your journey to being cured and what you feel when presented with these situations and if I could expect the same from my therapy in the event I work hard at it? Forgive me if this is repetative, but I'm finding it hard to wrap my mind around this being someday gone from my life!!!

[sage]

Hi Jo,


Of course everyone's experience is different, and people have different ways of approaching therapy and the time and dedication they are willing to put into it. Not everyone is willing to go through the amount of pain and fear I went through to get cured...for some it is just too painful or frightening. I can only reassure you that my symptoms were as bad as anyone's here - I suffered from the phobia to a terrible, terrible severe degree. It wasn't just a passing mild fear - it was a full-blown horrific phobia...in fact, diagnosed as PTSD. I watched everyone, yes. I ate almost nothing when I was a teenager (bananas and arrowroot cookies, in fact!) I heard about viruses and freaked out..etc. etc.


Now I feel nothing that resembles anxiety with a few exceptions. I'll try to list them for sort of easy reference
<UL>
<LI>I don't care who has a stomach bug, when, or where...it makes no difference to me</LI>
<LI>If someone is sick in my house I don't fear catching it. I look after them.</LI>
<LI>I don't wash my hands more than a few times a day, after the bathroom and before eating or when I've been in a hospital</LI>
<LI>I work in the hospital and stay in the room when people vomit and feel nothing</LI>
<LI>I traveled on planes, trains, buses and subways in Europe with no feelings of fear or apprehension (previously, I would only travel by driving myself in my own car!)</LI>
<LI>I DO however have a hard time sleeping with my husband when he feels sick, cuz I wake up in a "panic" like someone has just screamed "boo" really loud at me. So when he feels sick I sleep in the spare room. If I hear someone throwing up in the night, yes, I just roll over and go back to sleep.</LI>
<LI>when I got sick myself I was afraid for a few MINUTES right before...but then it was over and I haven't thought about it much since.</LI>[/list]


I hope this helps to inspire you further. Remember I had 20-30 hours of group and individualtherapy20 years ago, then 100 hours with a therapist on my family/personal issues 10 years ago, then 50 hours on the phobia specifically and 100 hours since then on just personal growth stuff and any remaining pieces of what led to the phobia in the first place. So you can't expect these results in 10 sessions with someone. But you can expect your anxiety to be significantly reduced in 10-20 sessions, and to be able to live a life where you don't think about this every minute.


All the best to you in your upcoming journey!

[2jo2]

Thank you so much for that!