Afraid to leave my home...

[Trice]

I have 3 apts Mon, Tues,Wed and I am terrified! I need to go to these apts ..I just got over the flu not too long ago and now it's just fear. ( I was in the house sick for 3 wks).
Please understand that I am naturally agoraphobic and that is the main prob...BUT, I feel sick when I do try to leave. I have a car but have to have someone drive in front of me to get anywhere. I have cancelled many apts in the past that even docs don't want to really deal with me and think I'm schizo from my fear of throwing up in public, private or anyone else.
My dog's at my parents home and is dying...he's very sick and even though I didn't seem to mind before, I can't bring myself to go and say goodbye.
Main prob is the apts now...I have to go. Just don't know how.
Friends and family are exhausted with me and I really don't know what to do. Any help would be greatly appreciated. I have no support where I live now.

Thank you for any advice.

[stopthissong]

I'm so sorry that your so scared. It sure is tough. You are doing well though. People aren't exhausted with you, they just want what's best for you! Its really your own choice to go or not. You have all the power, but you feel so powerless. Imagine how good it will feel when you go out to all the apts. Sure you will probably be a bit scared, worried and anxious while doing it but won't you feel a huge sense of accomplishment when you do it? Won't you feel like the fear didn't beat you, you beat it? Won't it take you further in recovery? It will make you stronger and more knowledgeable of what you can really achieve. You are strong and I know you can do it. If this situation your in, was any other persons situation, would they be worried? Probably not. We often make things much worse than they are. I really and sincerely hope you will go out, because I think it would really benefit you. But you are the one in control. I wish you all the very best. Let me know if you need more support. I will always provide it.

[Trice]

Thank you for responding.
My ex wants me to go out tonight and its 30 degrees. I'm not completely over flu...maybe I just have a bad cold now? But- I'm just focused on getting to apts this upcoming week.
.I know all you said is true but ...I suppose I'm extremely skeptic since I've been like this for 25 yrs. I also think it's strange talking to people who are positive-- that's a new thing for me.. I do feel somewhat better when I make it to apts etc but I always think "What if this is the last time". You know? I don't want to be in the house 3 yrs again but I guess I can try a bit longer. Thanks again

[olschesky]

i know it's really hard to push yourself but you have to. you know you need to do this....you know it's what's best for you. don't let the anxiety hold you back.....it's scarey and uncomfortable but it will subside. maybe just make a couple short trips out this weekend by yourself.......even if just around the block or maybe to a drugstore or somewhere easy. take deep breaths while you're driving.....play the radio loud and sing along.....distractions are great.

you can do this.....i promise.......and once you've done it you will have more courage to go even further......you will be just fine

[katherines6]

just think about the positive effect going to the appointments will have on you!

i am SO sorry about your dog, i feel like crying right now. i love dogs, and i'm sure if he's near the end of his life he would rather have you with him than your parents. after the appointments you should go to your parents house. it will hurt but you really should say goodbye. think about how you would feel if you were dying and your own mother didn't come see you? sorry i'm just a huge dog lover and it breaks my heart to think of your dog being sad and feeling forgotten and everything. :'(

[cloughie]

The more you go out the better it will get. You need to go out on your own everyday even if it's down one road and back. If you practice and practice starting with 3 minutes a day you will get better. There is no other way but pushing through the anxiety.