Just because someone caught a stomach virus...

[JadeNight]

It doesn't mean that they are unhygenic. It doesn't mean they feast on feces. It means they get sick because they are human.

I need to rant because this has really been bothering me

When my emet was really bad, I would become angry when someone would be sick and then come near me. I would think because I practiced like a million safety behaviors, I was untouchable. Then this past October I came down with a stomach virus. I did so by living a normal life. I do wash my hands, I don't lick the flusher knob of the toilet, I just got sick. It sucked but not once did I consider myself "dirty" or that I did something wrong. Lately in various places as "the season" is still lingering. Its being made seem tht these people getting sick should be exiled. I mostly see this on facebook from some members on here and while I don't want to cll anyone out or offend them, I do wanna say that in defense of people who do get sick, I am offended. Because I did come down with a stomach virus recently, and its like I "failed" something in doing so

I just don't understand the remarks that "people who are getting sick must like to eat poop" remarks (the most common) again, I can understand how its scary to be surrounded by sick people. I am not 100% recovered. But it really hurts as someone who has been praised for surviving a stomach virus to be ultimately made fun of for getting it.

Not meaning to start an argument. But does anyone feel the same?

[DeadxxInside92]

I agree with you in all aspects of your post. Sure there are those that are not the most hygienic but I like to believe the majority of people know and practice the basics. Even though you wash your hands, it does not make you untouchable. I kind of posted something similar just now--not this exact topic but it's something that's been on my mind as of late. I think there's a lot of anger that comes with this phobia and when our irrational mind is at work, it hinders us from thinking rationally. I do post panic posts on here but once I work through the panic and anxiety, I realize that it's no ones' fault I'm sick or (insert random noun here) is sick. It's just the way life is, even though it's unfortunate, there's nothing that can be done about it. Therefore, I think that's why people tend to get upset when someone comes down with a bug. I used to have that mindset when I was a child, but I've learned that no one is invincible.

[lizzo]

Yes, vomiting is scary. But I don't think that the people who vomit are scary themselves.

I feel upset about it too, and i'm nervous that I would be treated differently if I was to get sick. In periods where I could have easily vomited, I think to myself "I hope my emet friends will still consider me part of the group if I vomit!"

I feel like the "eating poop" remark is similar to ostracizing someone for contracting a cold virus. It's as if you were to say to someone "I guess you like to eat snot!"

[Denglish81]

While I agree for the most part, I also disagree with some of it because there wouldn't be so many instances of people getting sick if the MAJORITY were educated about the spread of germs. If people would allow themselves time to become well and not contagious before going back to work, or having social contact, then it would cut back on the spread of illness.
It is unfortunate, but I do find that a lot of people are very careless with their germs!

[DeadxxInside92]

I think what most people don't understand is how little particles you have to ingest to become infected. Even washing your hands well with soap and water doesn't remove 100% of germs. I think many people don't wash their hands for the recommended 15-20 seconds. People who are not emetophobic are not that germ conscious because coming down with a virus is just a normality, you know? Therefore, they're more likely to eat with their fingers and so on and so forth.

[JadeNight]

While I agree for the most part, I also disagree with some of it because there wouldn't be so many instances of people getting sick if the MAJORITY were educated about the spread of germs. If people would allow themselves time to become well and not contagious before going back to work, or having social contact, then it would cut back on the spread of illness.
It is unfortunate, but I do find that a lot of people are very careless with their germs!

I believe the majority are educated about the spread of germs. But that doesn't mean that a majority have to practice OCD tenancies. It doesn't make them careless. There was another thread about people going out such as work while sick and my opinion about that stands that a LOT of people today do not get sick time, can't afford to miss work, or could actually lose their job from calling out sick. THAT's what I find unfortunate. I wish people could stay home but not to avoid getting me sick but to get better. Fact is we have zero control over no one else but ourselves.

[JadeNight]

I think what most people don't understand is how little particles you have to ingest to become infected. Even washing your hands well with soap and water doesn't remove 100% of germs. I think many people don't wash their hands for the recommended 15-20 seconds. People who are not emetophobic are not that germ conscious because coming down with a virus is just a normality, you know? Therefore, they're more likely to eat with their fingers and so on and so forth.

Exactly.

We are the ones making a big deal out of it.

[JadeNight]

Yes, vomiting is scary. But I don't think that the people who vomit are scary themselves.

I feel upset about it too, and i'm nervous that I would be treated differently if I was to get sick. In periods where I could have easily vomited, I think to myself "I hope my emet friends will still consider me part of the group if I vomit!"

I feel like the "eating poop" remark is similar to ostracizing someone for contracting a cold virus. It's as if you were to say to someone "I guess you like to eat snot!"

I wouldn't treat any emet who vomited differently. I like how you put it in perspective with the colds. We don't have an irrational fear of colds but no one posts that stuff up publicly

[DeadxxInside92]

^^I agree. Unfortunately, as I have stated in another thread, I think many members do not truly want to overcome this phobia because in order to overcome it, you have to deal with it instead of avoid it. Avoidance only intensifies the fear.

[JadeNight]

^^I agree. Unfortunately, as I have stated in another thread, I think many members do not truly want to overcome this phobia because in order to overcome it, you have to deal with it instead of avoid it. Avoidance only intensifies the fear.

It really does. I struggle with a more prominent fear in my life at the moment than emet and I am guilty of avoiding. When I had to be exposed to it this week I was a mess. But it was my own fault for avoiding it (not for being afraid)

[DeadxxInside92]

I understand. It's terrifying when you are face to face with your worst fear but when all is said and done, it's not that scary anymore.

[lizzo]

I am guilty of the avoidance behaviours. I like to live in a denial filled bubble, the view is great from here Lol!

[DeadxxInside92]

I am guilty of the avoidance behaviours. I like to live in a denial filled bubble, the view is great from here Lol!

HAHA! I am guilty of that too. My bubble's awesome sauce.

[faye84]

^^I agree. Unfortunately, as I have stated in another thread, I think many members do not truly want to overcome this phobia because in order to overcome it, you have to deal with it instead of avoid it. Avoidance only intensifies the fear.

I think this post is slightly unfair. I was able to overcome a lot to do with this phobia, however I don't quite know how I did it exactly, I just know that the time was right for me and I tackled things head on. BUT - just because someone is avoiding things doesn't mean they don't want to actually get better. Many people are let down by the medical system and just dismissed as having anorexia, anxiety disorders etc and literally just left to get on with it. I was for a long time. This leads to people trying to protect themselves in the best way they know how, which can lead to avoidance.

I highly doubt that if you went and did a survey of 1000 people with a phobia of snakes, they would all jump up and say 'Hell yeah, I'll just go right ahead and sit in that room full of snakes even though I'm terrified of them!'

Lots of people DO want to get better, it's just they either don't feel mentally strong enough to push against the mental trauma that 'doing things out of the ordinary' can cause, for some people.

I do think to an extent that people have to push themselves to get better sometimes, but on the other hand it's not really as 'simple' as that. It can take years and years for people to recover from all manner of things, they may be taking little steps in their everyday life that they feel comfortable with, but still post here because they are amongst people that 'get them'. That doesn't mean they don't want to get better!

[DeadxxInside92]

I think this post is slightly unfair. I was able to overcome a lot to do with this phobia, however I don't quite know how I did it exactly, I just know that the time was right for me and I tackled things head on. BUT - just because someone is avoiding things doesn't mean they don't want to actually get better. Many people are let down by the medical system and just dismissed as having anorexia, anxiety disorders etc and literally just left to get on with it. I was for a long time. This leads to people trying to protect themselves in the best way they know how, which can lead to avoidance.

I highly doubt that if you went and did a survey of 1000 people with a phobia of snakes, they would all jump up and say 'Hell yeah, I'll just go right ahead and sit in that room full of snakes even though I'm terrified of them!'

Lots of people DO want to get better, it's just they either don't feel mentally strong enough to push against the mental trauma that 'doing things out of the ordinary' can cause, for some people.

I do think to an extent that people have to push themselves to get better sometimes, but on the other hand it's not really as 'simple' as that. It can take years and years for people to recover from all manner of things, they may be taking little steps in their everyday life that they feel comfortable with, but still post here because they are amongst people that 'get them'. That doesn't mean they don't want to get better!

I apologize as I do not want to seem biased by any means. I commend you for being able to overcome aspects of this phobia--it's definitely not easy. I do understand your point and I apologize for not clarifying in my post. I think it's the vibe I pick up at times when people keep shooting down any piece of advice offered to them. Does that make more sense? Again I apologize if I singled any one out. It was not my intention. I do also understand complications having to do with the contemporary medical system. Doctors and other medical professionals unfortunately can be very dismissive at times. Well, of course I'm not saying you have to directly face yourself vomiting or someone else vomiting in order to overcome this phobia but I think it's best to just deal with the nausea and don't go to drastic measures in terms of fighting it off. I am sure that many people do want to get better but I think the effort you get back is only as good as the effort you put in, make sense?

[Rebecca85]

Back to the point about people not going to work etc when they're sick. It doesn't bother me too much when adults go to work sick (unless they're telling me all the gory details!) because I figure if they feel unwell they will go to the bathroom, when they've been will flush and wash their hands and so on.

Wat does bother me is when parents knowingly send their children to school sick. I work with 4-7 year olds who don't always know when they're going to vomit (or have diarrhoea!), they don't always wash their hands (at all, never mind with soap and for 20 seconds!) Besides, we are a school, for teaching kids, not a hospital for sick kids, or a daycare just for looking after kids. If our attention is taken up by one child who is unwell, it means the other kids are missing out. We can't teach a kid who is sick. And the parents seem to think that it's OK to do this so they don't have to take time off work, so they'd rather expose all the kids and staff and make them have to have time off!

Obviously, I don't expect parents to keep kids off for every little sniffle or cough, but we have had kids sent in with chickenpox, hand foot and mouth, and all sorts before, this is a big deal because there are two members of staff who are taking immune suppressant drugs and children with chronic health problems, who could get very ill from viruses like these.

[DeadxxInside92]

I agree with you Rebecca. I think it's wise to keep sick children at home. More often than not, I'm sure the reason parents send sick children to school is because they cannot take time off work to stay home with them or they cannot find anyone to stay home with their child to look after him/her. I also agree that children are not quite able to understand feelings of nausea.

[scottness]

I have written a few times on Facebook that people who are writing status' about having a sv* have eaten poo particles. It's my opinion and I wouldn't say they're disgusting or unclean in most cases, but it's a true fact, they've ingested either that or v*.

[JadeNight]

Scott,

while that may be *fact* that is how people get ill, obviously when it's worded like so to be made so terrible people are going to take it as if they are disgusting because of the imagery of "ingesting/eating poop or vomit". What do you think about?


My point isn't to start another debate on who should go to work and who should stay home thing. My point is that getting a stomach virus does not make you unclean or disgusting. I wish I could find a better way of expressing how it's made me feel seeing those posts besides offended.

[scottness]

Are you referring to the ones I wrote last week on facebook or somebody else? I wasn't writing it to make out people are disgusting, i've had a sv* before, i'm just trying to make the people who I know personally realise why they're getting it. Michelle, you obviously didn't go out and purposely eat a poo or v*, I think we know that. I try to put people off writing about it on facebook because it annoys me. Why do the world want to know they've been up all night v*.

[sage]

Don't forget Scottness, that 70% of all "food poisoning" is actually food contaminated with norovirus particles from waiters. So someone can be completely a hand-washing freak and still catch it by just going out to the wrong restaurant on the wrong day.
Most people wash their hands after the bathroom. It's usually kids that don't. Kids are kids. If you don't travel in any circles where there are kids your chances as an adult of catching this are slim. If you do, it was probably the salad.

[scottness]

I know that, I was trying to explain that I've wrote it before to put people off writing about it on Facebook. I just didn't want Michelle getting upset over something I wrote, if it was me she was referring too, which it shouldn't be considering it was over a week ago.

[JadeNight]

Its been many people I am referring to over the last few months. Sorta like an "alright I've had enough of seeing this continously". No one in particular from memory but I appreciate you coming forward and explaining.

[kyphie]

Don't forget Scottness, that 70% of all "food poisoning" is actually food contaminated with norovirus particles from waiters. So someone can be completely a hand-washing freak and still catch it by just going out to the wrong restaurant on the wrong day.
Most people wash their hands after the bathroom. It's usually kids that don't. Kids are kids. If you don't travel in any circles where there are kids your chances as an adult of catching this are slim. If you do, it was probably the salad.

"it was probably the salad" haha! Love it!

[Erica1649]

I understand your point of view...and don't worry, you haven't failed by any means.

It is definately harder to keep track of children seeing like what Sage said, kids are kids, so they would pick up anything and put it in their mouths.

I am not sure if the public really knows exactly how the norovirus/bug is passed from person to person. We just freak out ten times more about it because we know the facts you know?

Don't worry Lizzo, we won't disown you if you v*ed. But we of course would be here to help you/walk you through your experience *knocks on wood* that won't happy for a very long time

[cinque]

I didn't know anyone had been saying anything about 'eating poo particles'?!

I wouldn't judge someone for getting an sv*! It's often to do with *other people's* hygiene rather than the person who gets ill, as I think has already been mentioned.

Some adults do not wash their hands after using the bathroom and I find that very selfish. I don't expect people to live up to my (sometimes excessive) standard of hand hygiene, but I do expect people to wash their hands after going to the toilet and ideally also before preparing food for others, and teach their children to do the same, and I think that's reasonable!

I really don't think anyone would be ostracised or judged for being ill. I think the people here would feel a lot of empathy and even admiration for getting through it (I feel an odd admiration for people who have v*d! Although I also like to keep my distance physically if they are infectious!).

I do think that everyone here wants to get better. I really do think that. What is the benefit of keeping the phobia? I would want to keep a good standard of hand hygiene. But I don't want to keep the fear. It is not comfortable or a security blanket. It is not an essential part of my identity or personality (a non-emet kind of implied that it was, probably because I am open about it, but the reason I'm open about it is so people will consider it to an extent, like warning me if they have been ill before preparing food for me etc!). I think everyone here wants rid of it - it's just so hard to know HOW to get rid of it and so hard to know what the first step is. We may also have worries that it's impossible to overcome. I do think it's a little bit inflammatory to claim that anyone here wants to hang on to the phobia. It's a bit like saying the same thing about a person with depression, in a way?! xxx

[laitka]

I don't think people who get sv* are dirty but I don't agree that people shouldn't stay home when they are sick. I'm feeling that one right now because I'm writing this while getting over a cold that I caught suspiciously after a girl in my team had one. After she was sick, 3 other people in my team have caught it and at least 2 of those (plus myself) have felt unwell enough that we have each taken a day of leave. Obviously, no guarantees we wouldn't have gotten sick but it just means thinking of others rather than trying to play martyr and come in and sneeze & cough on the rest of us!

[randall3329]

I don't think people who get sv* are dirty but I don't agree that people shouldn't stay home when they are sick. I'm feeling that one right now because I'm writing this while getting over a cold that I caught suspiciously after a girl in my team had one. After she was sick, 3 other people in my team have caught it and at least 2 of those (plus myself) have felt unwell enough that we have each taken a day of leave. Obviously, no guarantees we wouldn't have gotten sick but it just means thinking of others rather than trying to play martyr and come in and sneeze & cough on the rest of us!

In england most schools frown upon keeping a child off school with a cold, unless its full blown flu

[scottness]

Thats true Randall, they always complain to my sister that he should only stay off if he physically can't move. :|

[luvinmybaby07]

I can agree with this. I have sought help for my phobia in the past and my therapist just laughed at me. Coming from a small town this phobia is quite unheard of and it is hard to find anyone else to even begin to help treating me. However I have gotten alot better on this phobia just on my own. I take my anti emetics alot less and only take them when I feel like I am to the brink of being sick. Although I am not one that has them because of my phobia I have a kink in my intestine so my food doesn't digest quickly and sometimes just sits in my stomach making me feel ill until it goes through, but I know my body well enough to know when something itsn't right and it could be a SV. But back to the topic. I can agree that it is quite rude for people to act as if people are disgusting who get sick because honestly it really doesn't take much to catch it. Although the way I look at it is that it's the younger kids that are usually really good for catching and spreading viruses because they don't practice as good of hygeine as an older child, teen, or adult would. I have watched my son wash his hands (he's 4) and if I don't correct him trust me it is isn't enough. Not to mention they are always touching everything and then putting their hands in their mouth without washing them, they are always sharing food and drinks, etc. And it has nothing to do with parenting that is just a child. I have never looked down on anyone I know for being sick but I have been angry if they were and didn't tell me and were all around me. And I have never looked down on anyone for being sick I know it's just winter and the germs are everywhere.