Really fed up and on the edge

[LittleFlo]

I just need to come on here to vent. I've had enough of this phobia. I can't imagine my life without it and it gets me so down.


I watched a film and TV programme tonight and BOTH had v* references. Now all I can think about is the next time I will v*. I also was at the walk-in centre yesterday for an ear infection, and a girl came in with v* as a symptom. I read all this as a sign I soon will v*.


I'm already panicking about winter and norovirus. It's not even winter yet. I feel that when it comes to winter I want to stop eating altogether and lock myself indoors indefinitely.


These days all I think about is v*. Once every few minutes. Everything seems to remind me of it. I replay times I've v* in my head. I feel almost completely isolated in it, except when I come on here. I feel pathetic and silly for allowing this fear to waste so much of my energy and time, taking away opportunities and affecting my quality of life.


I'm sorry this isn't a specific post. I'm just at a loss as to what to do. I'm ringing the doctor tomorrow as I think I need to go back under a psychiatrist or I'm worried I'm going to get really ill, physically at least.


You're all so wonderful on here and I want to thank everyone who has ever said one kind word or gave me one practical tip in the past.


But now I need a little push to keep going as for me I feel like my life is slipping away. I feel wretched.

[staystrongxx]

I'm so sorry you're going through a rough patch hun. You can PM me on here, but I am more available on Facebook, here's my link: https://www.facebook.com/midi.byrnedavis You can message me just to talk, I'll be there

[LittleFlo]

Thanks darling - will send you a friend request... My name is Emily xx