Small triumph yesterday at therapy :)

[staystrongxx]

Hello everyone! Hope this finds all of you well.

So I am doing exposure therapy with my therapist. I have gotten past words, drawings, cartoons and photos on the emetophobia resource website.
Those things are not that triggering for me. But yesterday, we were going to start sounds. We did the first sound on the website, which was a drunk guy vomiting at a party. About 30 seconds in, I stuck my fingers in my ears and she stopped it. But then instead of talking about it or doing relaxation exercises, I said I wanted to hear it again. She continued playing it, I had her stop again but this time I did not plug my ears. Then I finished the rest of it. I got through the entire video! I was so proud of myself. After that we worked on my hatred of the word barf. I wrote it down and said it like 50 times and after that it sounded harmless. I was so happy that I got through the video and did the writing and saying of the word even though I felt like I was going to make it happen, she reassured me I would be fine. I also told her that I feel that while exposure therapy will help me with my fear of others vomiting, it won't help with the fear of myself vomiting. So after we get through exposure we are going to do CBT. I think that was a really good session and definitely a step in the right direction. Just before that session I was becoming frustrated with myself and the lack of progress but now I don't feel so frustrated anymore!

I hope this gives some of you hope If I can do this, all of you definitely can as well! Stay strong lovelies. Hugs

[butterfly91]

Well done that's great to here ​xx

[Ana Bellini]

That's amazing! Let us know of your progress!

[Valen*]

Good job, girl! Wish I could do therapy. But i am sure i would drive a therapist cray cray lol

[bluebell242]

woo! ...

[punchbuggy]

Way to go! You should be extreamly proud of yourself!

[Patricia3]

congratulations! That is great to hear.
I'm absolutely terrified by the noise of it, I have recurrent dreams of family memebers throwing up and me running out the street like crazy feeling all guilty that I could not "help" them. I don't know why for some reason I strongly associate throwing up with needing help. Like the other night my husband who I have never ever heard him thrown up, gets up at night and tells me "Forgive me for this" and runs into the bathroom. OMG I immediately froze and understood that he meant he is gonna throw up... I felt TERROR and I just covered my ears with my hands and started singing and my heart was beating like crazy :'(. I just got married last month! and at that moment I thought to myself I would divorce him next day so I don't have to hear it! :'( so pathetic. Thankfully, he did not throw up, nor did I hear a gag or anything! he was very supportive and gave me headphones with music in case LOOOL.....Needless to say that I could not sleep a single second that night just thinking he would get up any moment and throw up. I interviewed him like 20 times about his feeling of what he was experiencing and asking him if he was not afraid? he is amazing and understanding so he would just look at me and say... believe me, I don't know why my system rejects the idea of throwing up despite all the attempts he did... he said all he wanted was to throw up to feel better I, of course can't comprehend that and I truly admire those people that just make themselves vomit to feel better if they don't feel week.... hope one day all of us get a cure to this!

[Patricia3]

if they don't feel well** sorry =)

[Grace47]

That's great Strong! Congratulations!

[joubes]

"Small triumph" is an oxymoron to me. You're doing a great job staystrong! I think no matter what aspect of emet you've improved on, it's a big deal. I have big problems with the noise of it and it's one of the things I'm most looking forward to overcoming. Keep it up!

[juliabee]

that must be an amazing feeling!