How did you become an emet?

[maxichic]

What life events made you this way?

For me it was fp when I was 10. It was a 3 day thing from eating pizza. Horrible. I'm 24 now and haven't v* since I was 14. I'm scared everyday and it's worse now that I have gastritis.

How about you guys?

[mhartse]

what are your symptoms of gastritis?
For me…. I don't really know. It came out of no where. My mom is sick with ulcers in her stomach and can't keep food down. I think thats where my fear comes from.

[KimberlyP]

I developed a fear of it when I was eleven or twelve because I had the weirdest V episode and it lasted all night. I think I caught something from drinking untreated water from a stream. I woke up feeling fine and then with no warning V violently. I felt zero nausea or pain that night and it scared the crap out of me that I didn't know when it was coming. I had that fear ever since but it wasnt a phobia. I developed a phobia of it when I was 22 (2010) and my infant son was assaulted by one of my in laws and he nearly died. After that, I spiraled into the darkest place I had ever been and it manifested itself into emetophobia.

Now it's as if my brain is trained to see it as a threat but when I'm doing "it" I realize I'm okay. But it always goes back to the phobia, no matter how many times Im forced to face my fears.

[sweet]

I have no idea, I really don't! I wish I did....

[Hannah A.]

When I was 10 I woke up in the middle of the night and V* everywhere on my bed for no reason. Like I literally sat up, got sick, and then went and told my mom lol. It traumatized me and now I won't even sleep sometimes for fear that will happen again even tho it was like 3 years ago.

[Daniel1321]

What I do not get is how to go that long without v*! Is there a technique I want that so bad. I have a good immune system I just don't get that? Is it true when you're older it's harder to get sick? I'm now 15

[maxichic]

Emets use a combination of breathing techniques, will power, pills, teas and rituals to not v*. I've been very close to doing it but I just lay there in misery until the feeling subsides.

[Daniel1321]

My fear, is not having my girlfriend there for when it happens scares me. Just the feeling of waking up scares me.. Bad

[khernández99]

For me, I was 4 years old. I ate too much junk food one night and then yeah. I was terrified of V* ever since. I am 15 now. Still fear it. 11 years of fear is stressful. I don't eat as much junk food now either, I actually do not care for candy anymore.

[gumdropper1]

I was 8 and asleep in bed and had barely thought of vomiting since I last did it two years earlier. I might have even thought it was something that happened only once, like the chicken pox. Suddenly, my mouth filled with puke and I woke up, and it shot out and all over the place. I have been emet ever since.

[wanted]

I don't know why, but my mom was tu* often those years (I'm 19 now, that was about 10/11 years ago). She has had problems with her stomach so maybe it was that, she ate a lot then and she was also fat. I don't know exactly, I have never told her I could here her every time she was vomiting. Today I have a feeling like she was v every night because it really was traumatic for me. I don't know why I didn't tell her I could here it, I was 8 or 9?! Why did I keep it to myself?? She doesn't v anymore, but years after sometimes i woke up in the middle of the night and I heard her going in the bathroom and I put fingers on my ears because I thought she will do it again..I also had some school phobia for a few months then, I was n and I didn't want to go to school, I was in a mental hospital for 2 weeks. I don't know if that was all connected, probably yes. Awful memories. Last timr I v was when I was 8 or 7 and that was before my emetophobia so I don't know how I would handle it with this phobia. I was doing fine all those years, went normally to school, was going out, had friends..of course I didn't do some thibg because of thr phobia, but it was ok..until this April when I started to have weird nauseas. I had H.pylori and I still have problems with my stomach,maybe also gastritis so it's not a good combination with emetophobia.

[pogopig]

It started for me when I was 11 and my brother was suddenly sick all over the floor while the whole family were sitting at the dinner table. My dad was ragingly angry at my brother. I've heard that that's a key factor in developing this phobia. If my dad had been sympathetic and looked after my brother instead of being angry I night not have developed a fear of vomiting. Before that I was totally fearless about vomit.

[sarah_v]

There were a few incidents that might have triggered it for me. One was when I was 7 or 8, and woke up in the middle of the night v*ing all over my bed. I remember this as vividly as if it had happened yesterday (it was 22 years ago). There was also a time when I was little (not sure how old) when I had a sv*, and was afraid of v*ing. My mom put a bucket by my bed, which I was frightened of (I had gotten sick in it, and for some reason I thought the bucket itself could make me v*). Every time I had to get out of bed to pee, my mom would follow me with the bucket, which would make me cry hysterically and beg her to take it away, and insist that I didn't need to v*. Of course, every time I got up to pee I *did* end up v*ing in the bucket while she held it for me. For a long time afterwards, I was afraid to pee every time I felt n*, because I associated it with v*ing.
There was another time on a family vacation when we were staying in a cabin in the Utah desert (weird idea for a vacation, I know - I don't know what my parents were thinking!), I got affected by the 100+ degree heat. I got up in the middle of the night and went to my parents' bedroom to tell my mom I didn't feel well, and then promptly projectile v*d repeatedly all over their floor and myself. My mom got up to help me; my dad stayed in bed, and I remember being afraid he was angry with me. I also remember my mom trying to bathe me under the trickle of water from our ineffective showerhead. Really an absolutely horrible, miserable experience. I was terrified for the next 2 days of the trip, until my brother started to have breathing problems due to the dry heat (he has CF), and we decided to go home early. Leaving was a huge relief, as I was scared that the heat would make me ill again.

I tend to think that the fear associated by all of these experiences was compounded by other things that were going on at the time, some of which is too private for me to want to get into here, but which included my dad being diagnosed with cancer and hospitalized, and my eldest brother being diagnosed with cystic fibrosis, all within a year. I remember thinking that everyone I loved was dying, being convinced that they were all going to die one by one, and that I should try to stop loving my parents so much so that I could cope with it. Pretty heavy stuff for a kid to be dealing with, and still makes me sad to think about. Maybe the fear of v*ing started with my fear of unknown, scary medical things, and a desire to control myself or my surroundings in some way. I don't know.

[maxichic]

When I was 10 I woke up in the middle of the night and V* everywhere on my bed for no reason. Like I literally sat up, got sick, and then went and told my mom lol. It traumatized me and now I won't even sleep sometimes for fear that will happen again even tho it was like 3 years ago.

I'm sorry you experienced that, sounds horrible!

[maxichic]

I don't know why, but my mom was tu* often those years (I'm 19 now, that was about 10/11 years ago). She has had problems with her stomach so maybe it was that, she ate a lot then and she was also fat. I don't know exactly, I have never told her I could here her every time she was vomiting. Today I have a feeling like she was v every night because it really was traumatic for me. I don't know why I didn't tell her I could here it, I was 8 or 9?! Why did I keep it to myself?? She doesn't v anymore, but years after sometimes i woke up in the middle of the night and I heard her going in the bathroom and I put fingers on my ears because I thought she will do it again..I also had some school phobia for a few months then, I was n and I didn't want to go to school, I was in a mental hospital for 2 weeks. I don't know if that was all connected, probably yes. Awful memories. Last timr I v was when I was 8 or 7 and that was before my emetophobia so I don't know how I would handle it with this phobia. I was doing fine all those years, went normally to school, was going out, had friends..of course I didn't do some thibg because of thr phobia, but it was ok..until this April when I started to have weird nauseas. I had H.pylori and I still have problems with my stomach,maybe also gastritis so it's not a good combination with emetophobia.

You should open up to your mom. Good luck with h.pylori treatment, hope you get well soon

[anna81]

I'm not sure what caused my emet but I've had it for as long as I can remember and I remember when I was little I thought if someone v'ed it meant they would die. My mum died when I was 5 so I'm not sure if it may have something to do with her v'ing at some point. As I've got older (I'm 33 now) the fear has just stuck even though I know it doesn't mean someone will die if they v! I am so worried about doing something to make my daughters get emet! If they are ill I try not to let them see how much it scares me! I also try to joke with them to lighten the mood if one of them v's even though i am terrified! I would do anything to prevent them getting this phobia which has cursed my life!!

[butterfly91]

Mind developed when I had a sv in 2012. I was up all night v*, it was awful and traumatising and ever since I've been terrified of v

[Erin80]

A sv when I was 11. I was v'ing so hard I couldn't catch my breath and it scared me so much. After that, I didn't v again until I was 26 when I caught an sv from work - I dry heaved once, and then I v'd once (though nothing really came out, I guess I was holding it down, but I was def going through the motions of v'ing, stomach contracting and all that fun stuff) and once again, I couldn't catch my breath - I remember dropping to the floor (because I also had d so I was sitting on the toilet, holding the bucket) in panic because I couldn't breathe. I guess that's how it is for me, which scares the crap out of me....but maybe that's how it is for everyone? Anyway, I'll be 34 in a couple weeks and I haven't v since then, though I've had 3 or 4 sv since then (thanks kids!).

[DogLover8]

For me, it's just always been there. I suppose it first started when I was four. I was at my grandparents' house, and it was about ten minutes after my brother and I had gone to bed, and he started crying uncontrollably and wouldn't tell me what was wrong (he was three). I ran upstairs and got my mom, dad, and grandparents, and my brother and his bed were covered, absolutely covered in v*. I was horrified, but when I was still okay the next day, my mom told me I'd be fine, and I believed her. Then, she got sick. She and my brother were both napping (they had made it through the worst), and I was in the kitchen with my grandma when my throat started to close. She got me a throat drop, and the next thing I remember is feeling like I was dying, v*ing all over the bathroom counter, toilet, sink, everything. It was horrifying. I've been an emet ever since. :/

[Koizumiii]

You all have horrible stories, but at least you know what caused it. Mine just showed up, and I can only remember one thing around the time it must have started.

I woke up at six, maybe seven am, (I'm 97% sure it was a thursday) and I had really bad stomach pains, the ones where you just sort of curl up and groan and "oooooooOOOoOOOooOOoOOOOooOOoooOOoooOOoOoOoo". I thought it was just hunger though because I had a thing about eating even back then (this was somewhere in second grade) and so I felt hungry a lot. I went to the pantry and started eating some cheerios from the box, hoping to calm my stomach until I could make something more solid, but they just tasted dry and I just did not want to eat. I wasn't worrying about v* at all, and I mean AT ALL. I then went to the bathroom and tried to poo but nothing came out no matter how hard I strained. At this point I think I was feeling n* but I didn't recognize it for n* because I think it had been a fair amount of time since I got sick and the time before that I had woken up in the middle of the night to do it. For some reason my sister had done that every time in my memory (still has, now to think about it) so I was under the impression that you can only v* in the night, even though I once got sick after eating too many cupcakes at the park in preschool, and once around noon in kindergarten. Anyway, I dragged myself to the living room and sat on my favorite chair, moaning and sitting miserably. I sat there for maybe an hour, not being able to focus on reading or playing on the computer, until my dad woke up. He went to his office and was getting ready to leave for work when I started swallowing and swallowing. I didn't know what it was until I felt something come up my throat, at which point I was flooded with adrenaline and I sprinted the 50 feet to the bathroom, screaming at the top of my lungs at I ran, "PAPA I'M GOING TO T* U*! I didn't make it to the toilet unfortunately, but I ended up putting it all literally right in front of it, where your feet go when you sit on a toilet. As it was happening, I heard my dad say "What?" then walk into the room and do his patronizing "oh, oh, oh... honey!" But it's not nice, its more of a making fun of someone for doing something stupid voice, which he didn't use to use ever, so I was really scared and then he made fun of me... So yeah. Anyway after that I got my blanket and went back to the living room while my mom and dad cleaned up. This was about 8am, when I was supposed to leave for school, and I remember seeing my sister getting ready for her preschool, and I was really sad because it was show and tell day at my class that day.

But, I do know that that wasn't the day it started, because about a month, maybe more, later my best friend got sick in the hall and I was right with the other kids trying to see it. However, I do think I was a bit more restrained than the others, so who knows, maybe my phobia formed over the course of that year. I do know that the next year, 3rd grade, I did not miss a single day of school the entire year nor was I sick. Next year I did stay home for a day or two due to strep and colds etc up and until now, freshman year of high school, it's been the same. I am however really freaked out when I take sick days because it feels like a dare "Come and get me v* gods!" but sometimes I do it anyway, to get a relax day if I'm feeling bad. NEVER due to anything emet related though because that feels like a blatant taunt.

[Claire-]

Mine showed up after I was sick outside my school once with hardly any warning when I was 9. But interestingly, the Thrive program suggests you'd have developed the fear anyway whether or not you had that experience, because to get a phobia you have to have a certain way of thinking. Think about it, everyone has an uncomfortable vomit experience as a kid but only a few of us get the phobia!

[JasonJ]

Still haven't figured that one out. I recall a time where it didn't bother me, I remember a time where I saw it and freaked the actual f*** out, remember another time I thought my sister might do it and freaked out, and then the last time I ever did it and for whatever reason then I didn't seem to care and actually recall saying to my mom "that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be", so I assume I had the phobia at that point in time. Not a clue if it was a traumatic experience, my dad yelling at me for him having to clean the mess when I was little, kids at school doing it and seeing how embarrassed they got, just can't seem to figure it out. It makes me wonder if I were to one day find out what it was that caused it, if I'd suddenly be over it because I'd see how dumb of a reason it was.

[TheUnknownSam]

I become a full emet at the beginning of this summer however I had it briefly when I had chicken pox and I refused to take a medicine because it said it had a side effect of V* so I guess it also started then but not so much. What triggered it was the night of February 3rd 2014. Yes, I even remembered the date. On Friday night before that, my little brother who lives with my dad was V* all night and my dad told us about it. At the time, I wasn't an emet so I didn't care and agreed to go round and see him still. Obviously, this is a four year old who doesn't wash his hands after the toilet and I have to keep reminding him now when I see him because of it.

Anyway, I caught it because I was too exposed and I was up all night on the Monday, V* which was the worst feeling ever. Not going into detail. I had the noro two years before and I still had no problem after that. However, I think I know the reasoning and that is because I caught it off my mum the first time. This time however, my mum caught it off me and I felt guilty the night she had it, because I know how bad it was. In fact, earlier this evening I was feeling guilty about it and this was in February. I didn't even prevent her from getting it, I went downstairs at one point and V* all over the cups and plates in the sink. I feel bad still but when you are not an emet, you don't think straight when it comes to preventing it.

Now, I don't know what I have a phobia of. Do I really have a phobia of V* and catching the noro or do I have a phobia of spreading it to my mum? I ask this because I V* after my surgery around four weeks back and I had no problem, it wasn't horrible yet I still have the fear. I think I have the phobia of the noro more then anything because when I V* on my birthday a couple of years back due to eating too much, it fine. I didn't feel bad. Same with this one. But the noro triggered it off. I question it because very time I feel like it is possible I have been exposed, I keep thinking to myself "as long as it doesn't spread to mum, i'm alright" so yeh.

I hope I didn't get too graphic, I just wanted to be honest and let everyone know. I am quite glad I got this off my chest now.

[Amandaalee1]

Mine started when I was 5 or 6. I remember we were at this state park having a picnic and I was eating cheetos. That night I remember waking up and heaving and I ran to my mom and kept asking her if I was going to be sick. And I remember right before I V 'd I burped and then it happened. I've been traumatized ever since. I think my mom made me terrified of puke because she would start to panic and worry when I was sick and it made it so much worse. I'm 22 now and the only other times I've v 'd was from drinking alcohol so I barely remember it. But I feel like the older I get my phobia keeps getting worse. Now I'm weird about everything I eat, have anxiety induced ibs. Gotta love being emetophobic!

[Katrina89]

Mine came in in stages. After a very bad bout of fp from fish and chips (a day before my last uni exam of the year no less) I suffered from really bad stomach aches and random n* for months. When I told my doctor they said it was all in my imagination and it couldn't possibly have any link whatsoever. I went back and forth for months to the doctors with pains and n* but no one would take me seriously until I changed practice and they put me on tablets for acid reflux. But the damage was done. Months of constant n* had done its damage and I was scared. Then I started thinking about what had caused me to have the pain and I started to not eat things just in case they made me sick, I developed a fear of germs (I now wash my hands an unbelievable amount during the day.) and then one day whilst waiting for a bus home a kid v* right in front of me and I ran away. I think it's been a combination of all of the above. They still haven't figured out whats wrong because no one really takes an interest. I manage life on a careful diet, rennies, peppermint tea, ginger ale, chicken noodle soup, toast and anti-emtics when I'm at my worst.

[zebra]

I don't know if I can really pinpoint what started it for me... I think it was a few events as I grew up. My earliest memory of getting sick is being very little and eating breakfast... Toast, I believe. I remember not feeling well and thinking I was going to be sick but my mom was busy saying goodbye to dad as he was headed out the for for work. I finally got her attention and she started escorting me to the bathroom. I was almost there but got sick on the floor. It wasn't much, so it wasn't really that traumatizing.. Maybe it was the thought I might get in trouble? I'm sure I encountered v* at least a few times when I was little, if not by me than by others. Fast forward to middle school and I definitely remember when a classmate was v* in the trash can during lunch. I remember it like yesterday and still grips my stomach. I do remember being fearful then. Ever since I just got worse and worse until voilà, here I am. Lucky for me the only times in my whole life past the age of 8 that I myself have v* was when my appendix ruptured (lucky I hadn't eaten anything for a day so it was hardly an event) and I was dumb and drank to the point of alcohol poisoning, blacked out completely during which I v* and my poor friend at the time took care of it all. When I came to in the morning he told me that I had and I absolutely did not believe him because I have never really v*. But he swore I did... Crazy.
And now I'm pregnant with my first baby scared out of my mind that pregnancy too can override my cast-iron stomach... I hope I'm wrong...

[emmabean]

When I was 2, my mom and my sister (who was an infant at the time) were out playing in the backyard. My mom turned her back on me for like half a second to check on my sister and when she looked back at me I was chewing on mushrooms that I found growing outside...... So her and my dad had to give me ipecac which made me v* for like 2 hours straight. And if that wasn't bad enough, I did the same exact thing with some red berries exactly 1 week later and had to be given ipecac again. But I knew what would happen this time so I had to be literally held down and have it forced down my throat. Soooo yeah that's probably when mine started...

[[email protected]]

I have never found anyone that had this happen to them besides myself. I am very sure this is why I am so freaking terrified to throw up. I can actually remember most of the event. I was maybe 2 1/2 close to 3. They say the only thing people could possibly remember at that age would be something horribly traumatic. I don't suppose it would help when you are crying about having to throw up and your mom is standing over you yelling "just do it and get it over with". I was 5 then, thanks for sealing the deal mom!

[ashley26]

I think I've always been terrified of getting sick. When I was like 5 years old I remember sleeping with my parents in their bed and I threw up in the middle of the night and all I remember is crying hysterically and my dad kept telling me it's okay I'm not mad at you and all I could think was im crying because I threw up and I kept getting sick for the rest of the day :/ so I've always been scared but I guess it didn't get really really bad until I was 17 years old and my younger sister got a sv and I got it a few days later even though I didn't actually throw up it turned it a full blown phobia and I didn't eat for months and I had to be hospitalized

[Kikwang23]

I would say I became an emet when I was around 13. My uncle has a sensitive stomach so eating was a problem for him always. He would get N* at every meal and sometimes V* but for me it seemed like it was on a constant basis. It followed me into adulthood. I thoroughly dislike watching any shows that might have footage of people V* ing. So I avoid TV all together. Im terrified of working in a restraunt because lots of people V* in restraunts. Even where I work now the thought terrifies me. I do not go on spinning rides for fear of V* ing. And I panic when someone says they feel sick. I question them about what kind of sick and if they say the feel N* I avoid them at all costs, leave the area and try to take my mind off it. I stay away from super greasy foods for fear of getting sick. Even thinking about someone getting sick makes me wanna get sick. About a year ago I had a case of food poisoning from bad pulled pork. It didnt hit me till 3am i went to the bathroom and was violently ill. I stayed home from work then next day and V*d 4more timrs, only the last 4 times there was nothing in my stomach so it was dry heaves. I prefer dry heaving because the feeling of fluid and matter coming out of my stomach and throat is what i am afraid of most. I am always dealing with my emet. Its been hell but I am working through it. I dont think ill ever stop fearing V* but Ill figure out a way past it. Feel free to reply.