Is there a way to get better on your own?

[tinnie]

I don't know if this is the right category for my question, but I hope you don't mind.

Anyway, for several reasons I don't really want to see a therapist, but I definitely want to do something about my emetophobia. Thankfully, it's not as severe as other people's phobia (and by that I mean that it doesn't really control my life, but it does make me watch myself much more and makes me panic a bit if I show any symptoms, stomach pains etc.) but it has gotten worse over the last 2 years or so. I'd really like to stop it from progressing and ideally at least get back to freaking out only when I'm actually throwing up rather than every time I'm not feeling 100%.

So are there any steps I can do to fight this phobia? Do any of you have any experience with doing so? I keep seeing posts about people doing little things such as eating out or watching movies that contain people being sick. But I already do those things. I need to take it a step further, but I don't know how.

[Malalcala]

Hmmm.. First off I'm a HUGE fan of therapy for all kinds of reasons (though I haven't actually used it for my phobia).

Secondly I think taking steps to limit your phobia starts with being very clear with yourself on what triggers your anxiety. You mention that you aren't really triggered by food or seeing it on TV or anything like that (that's FANTASTIC!!!!!). I'm not really sure what it was that makes you anxious so I can't be specific for you but I can tell you what I do.. (however I actually AM one of those that hates watching anyone vomit (fake or not) and I am also a bit squeamish about food.)

Either way, my first rule is to forgive myself for whatever instinctive sympathetic nervous system response takes over and pushes that fight or flight button that leads to anxiety. It's not my fault so theres no sense being upset about it...THEN I push past that norepinephrine rush and make myself think things through. I work through all the scenarios and I make a concerted effort to be reasonable. Ex: I feel sick--> Ok, well chances that I'll throw-up are minimal-->But what if i do??? --> Then I do. I'll survive. It'll suck for 24 hours or a few days and then I'll be FINE, a week from now this moment will be a distant memory. Sometimes this is also preemptive if I know I'm going to be in a situation I think through the WORST case scenario and decide how I'll handle it.

My second rule (this one is maybe the most important) is that I won't let myself add other people's fears to my own... If I wasn't afraid of it before I refuse to be afraid of it now. That means I don't add additional cleaning measures or food prep rules or rituals of any kind (even if the phobic part of my brain is all... HEY what a great idea!!) In fact in general I really, really try to do only what "normal" people do. No excessive hand washing, No crazy daisy bleaching the hell out of everything, no following people around w/lysol (I did this in college), no criticizing my husband when he cooks meat wrong (not easy) etc..

Finally, I REFUSE to make life decisions (big or small) based on whether or not I might get sick, feel sick or see someone else get sick! I want kids, I want to travel, I want to be a doctor, Hell... sometimes I just want to eat the potato salad or whatever. This one is hard... Ex: I went to Peru this summer to do medical mission stuff (which was awesome) but my phobia did sorta take over when it came to food (basically I ate rice and bread for 3 weeks.. and I maaaaaybe failed to take my antimalarials in the amazon!).

I think what it all boils down to for me is challenging myself, pushing limits and subsequently discovering that they don't really exist.

As for panicking when you don't feel well... I definitely find that a bit of meditation and distraction is helpful!! I'm a huge fan of mint tea and TV or a well loved book... sometimes I even go for a walk/run listen to music & give my anxiety something else to do!!

I don't know if this is helpful at all???? It may not really apply to you... but maybe you can make rules of your own or use my system to help yourself think through your triggers?
Best of Luck!!!!!
~M

[tinnie]

Thank you for your answer. It does help in some ways. Or at least it makes me think more about some of the things I'm doing wrong.

Well I guess that my main triggers are someone near me being sick. Which obviously makes me super scared of catching it and it did made me so anxious in the past that I was feeling slightly nauseous for days. And then of course, feeling like I'm gonna be sick myself. On top of this phobia I'm hypochondriac and I've developed a phobia of pooping (or better said, being scared of having diarrhea and not being able to get to the bathroom on time) so I'm always watching my stomach closely and any unusual pain or unusual stool makes me freak out quite easily.

I'm definitely the kind of person who always jumps right to the worst case scenario. Like I'm gonna be sick so I'm gonna miss out on my classes, I will fail the subject and get kicked out of college. I know that this is extreme and it wouldn't take missing out one or two days, but I can't help myself but think about how I may screw up everything for some other reasons and then only have one chance to fix it and my chance will be ruined by throwing up. Crazy, I know. But somehow my mind always goes there. Like last month before I went to get enrolled in college I wasn't feeling well at night and I was thinking about how if I miss the enrolling, I will need to go there on the later date, but then I'll also be able to create my timetable later, all the good spots will be full and I'll end up with sucks timetable for the rest of the semester and fail because of it.

The second rule sounds like something I should do. I feel like I've been more cautious about things and worrying more ever since I've started reading up more on emetophobia and what people do. Now I feel bad if I touch my mouth or my face if I didn't wash my hands. Even though I was doing that before and it wasn't making me any more or any less sick than I'm now. But I would hate myself if I made myself sick when I could've prevented it.

Yeah, I really need to do that as well. I find that sometimes I make my decisions based on being scared something will make me sick. Not always, but sometimes. Like early this summer I had iced coffee and I ended up having diarrhea afterwards. I've had iced coffee many times before and it has never happened. But after that incident I'm really scared to have iced coffee again (though I did once and I only had a bit of stomach ache, which may or may not be anxiety related). I've been like this my whole life. I remember when I was little and I drank some coke, but then I felt like I was gonna throw up and I was so scared I didn't drink coke for years. But again, it goes down to the fact, that I want to prevent being sick. And if I have a bad experience with something, I feel like it's an unnecessary risk to try it again. Even though I know it's not the way to go about it.

I guess distraction is the way to go. I feel like I almost never feel sick at school, maybe because I always have something to do. But at night or in the morning when I worry about not making it to school, anxiety gets the worst of me. But in a way I'm scared to distract myself or persuade myself that it's nothing, because if it really is something, I feel like I need to be prepared. Not being in control is one of the things that scares me the most about throwing up. And persuading myself that it's just anxiety and then throwing up would probably make me feel like I had even less control over the situation. If that makes sense.

Thanks for all your advice.

[Malalcala]

Sounds to me like you've got a really good idea of what makes you anxious, which is so helpful when it comes to retraining your brain not to panic!!

I want to discuss a few things you mentioned... The first is that you seem to be VERY good at imagining the absolute APOCALYPSE scenario for what will happen if you get sick (I do this too P.S it does not mean you are crazy!! More like, smart, intuitive and creative probably) However... you don't seem to have a zombie apocalypse PLAN in place. (My husband is a horror writer..we literally have one of these).
Basically to survive you need a plan for ALL the scenarios! You can start w/the worst (though it's HIGHLY unlikely) what if you get sick, don't get the class, fail out... then what?? Well, then you pick-up, dust off, strap of your apocalypse boots, grab the katahna and head out into the horde to fight again!! Failing a class (or several) isn't going to dictate your future success... you could fail out of SCHOOL and do it all again (you'll just have to fight that much harder).
But the reality is that you probably won't have to fight the horde.. you'll probably get through the illness just fine and you may have a few annoying weeks of catch-up or a professor you don't love. But you HAVE to think it all the way through!! Your head cannon can't end with: Defeated by stomach virus. The end.

Secondly, I can't tell you how important it is that you recognize that you've picked up some fears while researching this phobia!!
Having a community is GREAT, it's amazing, it helps us feel not alone... but our fears are individual and honestly, largely irrational (it's basically the definition of a phobia). People believe things and have rituals that are designed to help them combat panic but they aren't necessarily truths and they don't always help in the long run. It's basically impossible not to touch your face and bleach doesn't kill half as much as we wish it did . My husband will eat anything that isn't growing obvious mold and he loves things raw and disgusting... when he cooks he doesn't wash his hands after touching meat and it DRIVES ME NUTS but he never gets sick and neither do I... basically I just don't watch. Not only that, viruses & bacteria are kinda everywhere.. it's not just Noro that can cause vomiting so we really can't know what exactly will kill it or how long ppl are contagious, how its spread or if it even IS spread.. I personally HATE this.. but it's true and sometimes truth is a good place to start being rational. At the end of the day you are either gonna get something or you're not. The best thing you can do for yourself is be kind to your body (mind included) and take the precautions that are hygienic but NOT excessive. If you aren't doing it already...don't start!!! Trust me on this... its hell to break yourself out of these habits and it really only gives power to the fear... it CAN consume your life if you let it (it consumed mine for years and sometimes still does.) You HAVE to consciously not let it!!

Finally.. yeah, i know what you mean about those bad experiences (I can list the things I still can't eat because of bad experiences or places that make me anxious). Funny thing is.. I was once sick after eating a noodle meal (which I NEVER ATE AGAIN) buuuutttt... I was ALSO once sick after eating chocolate.. I remember thinking: Well, this might be good!! Maybe I'll give up chocolate now!! But did that happen?? HELL NO! The next time chocolate cake came around I was all YES PLEASE!! So, these things are really variable anyway

As for the control aspect... I think that's the root of it all for a lot of us (definitely for me) it's just such a terrifyingly uncontrolable act... but here's the thing, if you let it control you and the decisions you make then you've lost control anyway (this is basically my mantra). So everyday you make a choice to push aside the hamster wheel of anxious thoughts and do what you what you want despite the panic you are winning!! And that's my schpiel : )

Be Well!!!!!
~M

[Afdpt]

I've done it on my own. No formal therapy ever. I was a lot like you. For the most part I didn't restrict the things that I did but I was nervous doing them (being in any crowded situations, for example, made me nervous and I'd always be focused on everyone around me in case they showed signs that they were going to be sick. I couldn't really enjoy the things I was doing because my brain was always more worried about those around me.) I went through a bad spell for a few months last year when it got to the point where I would have severely restricted my activities if it wasn't for the fact that I was embarrassed by my phobia and didn't want to explain myself to anyone so I'd go out and do normal things still but was incredibly afraid and having multiple panic attacks per day (which I also hid from everyone.)

Here is what I did to get better:

1. I decided I had enough and I would rather live my life normally, worry-free even if it meant I would get sick sometimes.
2. I started to remind myself ALL THE TIME that vomit was nothing to be afraid of. I asked myself things like, "so what if I get sick?" and tried (unsuccessfully) to give myself a logical response to that.
3. I started doing things that made me nervous all the time. Stopped obsessively cleaning my hands, home, etc. Sometimes I would eat without washing my hands. I started touching door handles with the skin of my hand rather than trying to creatively find ways to do it without contact. Things like that. I gave up my emetophobic habits and rituals. Stopping these things helped to reinforce the fact that they are unnecessary 99+% of the time as I still don't get sick even without these measure.
4. I reminded myself that I was going to get sick some day. It's inevitable. But stomach bugs are short in duration and most people get them once per year MAX (most adults I know seem to come down with this once every few years on average.) I accepted that. I stopped trying to fight it. I do things and think, "Maybe this will make me sick. Most likely it won't. I'm going to do it anyway."
5. I reminded myself that even if I get sick I would be fine. It is absolutely no reason to panic and freak out. I know I will survive and it will be over soon enough.
6. When I would have panic attacks and anxiety induced nausea I would tell my body, "Ok, let's do this then. Lets just vomit and get it over with." Once I gave myself permission to be sick, the nausea almost always goes away. And if the nausea doesn't, the fear at least decreases.

Get on a good eating program, get on a regular exercise program.

I'm sure I have more advice that I'm not thinking of right now but you can message me anytime and I'd be more than happy to answer more of your questions and help you out as best I can. Recovering is the best feeling for someone with emetophobia and I would love for you to experience what I felt/feel!

[sdfl]

Although some people have managed on their own, please keep in mind that there are different things that work well for some more than others. Recreating thought processes and restructuring your brain is key. It doesn't happen in a week, and takes a lot of discipline and willpower. You also must give yourself grace to push through panic attacks that will inevitably happen.