Bickering - Please Read

[hippychick]

Ok, I didn't want to have to do this post but I shall. I don't think any of you need it not really, you are not children but it's becoming a little difficult. I'm basically caught in the middle here. There are some people who feel victimised, and other people who feel they are just trying to help in a situation with a reality check.


Nobody here is trying to get at or pick on anybody else. I genuinely believe that those who post blunt advice have best interests at heart and if I didn't believe this then those posts would be removed. A difference of opinion doesn't mean anyone is getting at you personally,


That said the other side of the coin is could people PLEASE try to be a little sensitive when they post. Other people don't always want to hear what you have to say when it is presented in a certain style and then the GOOD advice gets lost.


If you have a problem with another forum member I urge you to PM them. I don't mean abuse of course [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]but just to say "maybe you are trying to help me but I cant respond to that, thank you anyway" or "Hey, so you seem to hate me, why is that?" lol Recently I posted something and a forum member questioned the wording, I reviewed it and replied and everyone was happy (I think lol)


Above all remember this is a support forum, but also remember that what you post has an impact. If you are blowing things up, or dramatising then expect someone to come along and calm that down because everyone who visits the site suffers from anxiety and what we read sticks with us. I haveclosed down topics on Bird Flu etc because of the panic they create.Realistic goals and answers are a positive thing. But also try and post what you have to say in the most sensitive way you can so that the other person is open to hearing it.


I'm not posting this at anyone or the other. I'm just sick of getting it from all sides everytime I log on. This place is meant to be a place of love and support, please can we try and keep it that way.

[Babydoll]

well said, hippychick. I will try to be more sensitive when I post!

[japa]

I am a blunt poster, so I will try to be more careful.

[spilled_milk]

Sometimes I am very nervous about posting in a controversial topic, because of what you mentioned above. I'm nervous that what I say could be taken as hurtful. I'll try and think more before I post!


<3 Anya--

[sage]

Today I removed a post that I thought might cause unnecessary hysteria and people to go off their meds, which I think is very dangerous. I really don't like people giving medical advice on here..but I know there's a thin line between just asking how other people have done on a certain medicine, etc. so I try to be fair.


But when I see the result would only be people getting upset, I hit "delete".

[Carolee]

Thats my fault...I should haev thought twice about it...well I did think twice about it, but now I see that it was a bad idea! Sorry everyone.

[Babydoll]

I don't know if Im the only one who noticed this, and I hate to be a nag.. but I find it odd how there are hundreds of members, and yet only a few of us replied to this topic.

[crimgoddess]

You're completely right Jill-


I will make an attempt to be a kindler, gentler crimgoddess. Pinkie swear.


BUT, on that same token, I would really appreciate it if when I or anyone else disagrees with something that is posted, thepersondoesn't automatically assume that it is a personal attack, or that someone is out to get them. I don't think anyone should be afraid to disagree with something that is said, or be worried that if they do people will think less of them. I don't think that, that is a healthy environment- as long as everyone remains respectful, and no one descends to the level of a personal attack, we should be able to discuss issues like adults.


*amber*Edited by: crimgoddess

[violet]

I dont know if I have ever personally hit a nerve with anyone in these forums but if I have then I appologies.

I will make sure I always think twice before posting..x

[kutekim1217]

Above all remember this is a support forum, but also remember that what you post has an impact. If you are blowing things up, or dramatising then expect someone to come along and calm that down because everyone who visits the site suffers from anxiety and what we read sticks with us. I haveclosed down topics on Bird Flu etc because of the panic they create.Realistic goals and answers are a positive thing. But also try and post what you have to say in the most sensitive way you can so that the other person is open to hearing it.


I totally understand where you are coming from but I also don't believe we should sugar coat anything either. The thread on raspberries where I just posted about them being conatminated with sv, yes this may stop people from purchasing them, like I have done, but I still think its a good thing to know, then you have the option to decide if you want to ingest them or not. This is a support group and an excellent one but if people come on here with facts about certain things and they can prove what they say, then I think its a good idea to do this. If you can't back up what you say, then don't state it. You weren't explicit on what the issues here are, but I am assuming this is what it is. Kim

[kutekim1217]

Successfully treated for severe emetophobia at age 40.
Resident in Psychotherapy(Masters degree & postgraduate diploma)






I just saw this. How did you overcome this fear? Kim

[californiagirl]

I totally understand where you are coming from but I also don't believe we should sugar coat anything either. The thread on raspberries where I just posted about them being conatminated with sv, yes this may stop people from purchasing them, like I have done, but I still think its a good thing to know, then you have the option to decide if you want to ingest them or not. This is a support group and an excellent one but if people come on here with facts about certain things and they can prove what they say, then I think its a good idea to do this. If you can't back up what you say, then don't state it. You weren't explicit on what the issues here are, but I am assuming this is what it is. Kim

Same thing with my FP post. I just wanted to know of any DEFINITE cases of FP, or pretty SURE cases, so I can avoid dodgy food/restaurants. It was my own personal curiosity and anyone else who wanted to read and gain the same knowledge as well. I think we should be able to post such threads and if it's is a hard topic for some people, with all due respect, they can opt to not read on. I thought it was an important thing to know though, and I think it did help some people.[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[hippychick]

My worry with the food poisoning post is that many people who come here suffer with restricted diets and yes it's good to have knowledge but not unsubstantiated knowledge, not hearsay and maybes. Someone here ate in a resteraunt that weeks before had had norwalk, if she had known at the time would she have? Hell no, did she get sick? Also no.


We are all at different stages in recovery each one of us. YOU ma be able to handle some things but others cannot, what if I could handle pictures of people throwing up and went and posted them? I'm sure it would not make many people happy.


And honestly with emet, there is a certain morbid curiosity that you know most of us posses. And some people (like myself) have no option but to read a thread. I have no issues in theory with the raspberries thread. I think it's about being sensitive, not sugar coating. Some of you whohave issues with others not being sensitive toward your posts should be more willing and able to understand why other things cause an issue.


There is a difference between informing and having knowledge and posting things that cause anxiety, if the FP thread tipped over into straight out causing anxiety on unsubstantiated claims then it would be removed. As long as it stays factual it stays. Do you see my point?


And sage's success story can be found in a sticky tread in treatments i believe.Edited by: hippychick

[californiagirl]

HIPPYCHICK~~~


I honestly didn't mean to start anything bad with my posts, I thought I was being helpful. Sorry.

[hippychick]

I edited my thread as you posted lol


"There is a difference between informing and having knowledge and posting things that cause anxiety, if the FP thread tipped over into straight out causing anxiety on unsubstantiated claims then it would be removed. As long as it stays factual it stays. Do you see my point?"


^^ That's what I am trying to say, I don't always express it the best way I can. If it turned into pages of horror stories on every single food etc etc with no real fact basis (which I feared it might) I'd take issue. But to be honest (and not to scare anyone) I think you could find any food and then a claim of FP, or any eating place and a case of FP that was blamed on them, doesn't mean you are at risk everytime you eat there.

[californiagirl]

I edited my thread as you posted lol


"There is a difference between informing and having knowledge and posting things that cause anxiety, if the FP thread tipped over into straight out causing anxiety on unsubstantiated claims then it would be removed. As long as it stays factual it stays. Do you see my point?"


^^ That's what I am trying to say, I don't always express it the best way I can. If it turned into pages of horror stories on every single food etc etc with no real fact basis (which I feared it might) I'd take issue. But to be honest (and not to scare anyone) I think you could find any food and then a claim of FP, or any eating place and a case of FP that was blamed on them, doesn't mean you are at risk everytime you eat there.

I see what you're saying, that's why I asked for definite (or pretty sure) cases. They post this on the news weekly here where I live, so it's public knowledge. It's always interesting to hear of actual people's experiences. It actually confirmed what I feared about 2 places mentioned, so I'm glad I asked. Yeh, I can see that you don't want any unsubstantiated panic, I totally understand.

[hayleyw]

I dont know if I have ever personally hit a nerve with anyone in these forums but if I have then I appologies.

I will make sure I always think twice before posting..x

me too


-hayley xoxo