I think I’m going to take a break...

[babygap5]

for awhile. I've been a member of this site for awhile and I've found comfort and reassurance when I've needed it. I've met some great people on this site and I'm thankful for the new friendships. However, I feel I have to be totally honest about why I want to take a break from the site. Last week, a very controversial topic was started and it got way out of hand. While everyone is entitled to their opinion, I found that my opinions were being attacked and I was insulted when one user called my opinion "pure ignorance." I didn't label anyone's opinion and felt very hurt by the name calling. I felt further hurt when the post wasn't shut down, in my opinion fast enough, when other posts in the past that weren't so "controversial" were shut down much quicker.


Since then, my desire to come here has just gone away. I don't even have the desire to offer support for anyone, which is sad for me. This site was created by John to offer support for emet related issues, etc., not a political forum. I have no desire to know how liberal or conservative people are, that's the beauty of an anonymous site like this. A whole group of people who all have the same thing in common and I feel that lines have been drawn with this site. Political topics are great debaters, but not for a site that is dedicated to emet.


Thank you all for the support that you've given me in my struggle to overcome emet. I wish everyone luck in their struggle. Congrats again to all the new mommies and all the future mommies.


My email address is [email protected]. Feel free to email me. I'm really sorry to go and I'mcrying at this point, but, I feel that the board has been tainted in a way, and I just don't think I will be able to offer support or ask for it anymore. Thanks again.


Judy

[kate1966]

So sorry you are leaving Jody......you will be missed. I do agree with you on how the topics are not really emet related at all...it just causes too much stress on here. So I don't blame you for not wanting that...but like I said, you will certainly be missed and I do wish you the best. Thanks for always giving me support and advice!!!!!

[hippychick]

I'm honestly sorry you feel that way. When you contacted me about shutting down the thread I explained it would be open for a few more hours and then gone. To allow everyone to say what they felt they needed to so we could put it behind us. At that time you didn't say anything further. If you were unhappy with this then I would have considered shutting it down sooner, but as I didn't receive any other comments from you or anyone else I felt I was ok in doing what I did.


I am sad that you don't feel you can offer support to people now, that is your perogative.I and several others have had these debates in the past, always for a short time and we move past it to offer support which is what this site is for. There are forum members out there who believe that my sexuality is a sin, and have told me that in the past. But when a person is asking for help you've got to put that aside and offer it out. I understand that it's difficult sometimes but we are all here for emet.


To anyone else that feels this way I also apologise. I am one human being and I do make mistakes and I'm always open to being contacted by anyone. As people here well know I take every opinion into consideration. When it is not expressed however, I cannot do anything. There have always been OT posts and controverisal topics because many people here are friends and as such want to post about other aspects of their lives. 99% of those topics get shut down.


I'm sorry if anyone else feels let down. I try to do what I can here but as the site has grown things have certainly changed a lot and recently I am questioning my mod status on this board.


Good luck for the future, hope things improveEdited by: hippychick

[californiagirl]

BABYGAP~~~


I totally understand where you're coming from here. I was thinking about doing the same thing.


I feel exactly like you do right now, and honestly, it doesn't feel very good at all. You have been very supportive to me, and I will continue to be to you as well.


Email me anytime!!!!

[SimplyMe]

We'll, miss you, Judy. I was not around for a bit and don't know what you're talking about (I'm actually thinking I'm glad of that) but whatever your reasons they are yours and you are allowed them. I hope when you've had some time away you will feel refreshed enough to come back, even just to pop in and say hi. If not tho, again it's up to you. Take care!

[hayleyw]

aw im sorry that you are leaving. some of these boards do get way out of hand and i understand why you may not want to stay around. you will be missed. good luck!!


-hayley xoxo

[melissarene]

I'm sorry you're leaving. I've talked to you a few times in the past. I'm sorry that you had so much trouble as well.


I've now made it a rule for myself to just stay out of those type of discussions and not bother getting all heated over the off topic stuff.

[japa]

You have to do what you feel is best for you. I'm sorry that political debates "taint" the forum for you.


I can't say that I really "get" how differences in political opinion can ruin the forum for you or anyone else. I don't mean that as disrespect at all, but I just think that they are differences in opinion. It doesn't cause me to judge someone elseas adecent or indecenthuman being and whether or nothe or she isa good person.


I wonder why you don't just stay and avoid off topic political threads?? Not all threads need to be read and/or participated in.


Actually though, my hat is off to hippychick because if someone on here did say that my personal sexual orientation was a sin, then I would have trouble offering help to that person. As long as the differences of opinion do not turn into personal attacks, then I am o.k. with them.


I just wonder what to think about agreement and disagreement on this forum, and it has got me rather baffled to be honest. We all share a phobia, and lots of times when someone posts an experience, someone can chime in and say, "I would have thought or felt the same way." So a lot of times, there is agreement on emet. issues, but even with that, we don't always agree about emet issues even.


Maybe the forum could prohibit all off topic posts or maybe just all off topic political posts? But I don't know if that's a good thing to do. Then on this forum, we will all be known only by our phobia.


There is also the question of "to what extent can we stretch our compassion as human beings to support those unlike ourselves in other ways (i.e. values and beliefs) besides this phobia?"


And there is the question that we always flirt with answering: "To what extent is support synonymous with agreement?"

[japa]

I alsomust add that I just noticed that your initial post mentioned that you were insulted because your opinion was called pure ignorance. I didn't pay that close of attention to the thread, so I don't remember.


It sounds like your feelings were hurt, and rightfully so. People shouldn't name call. There should be opinion differences without put downs.


I don't know who said that your opinion was ignorance, but I would tend to ignore just the one person who said that rather than the whole forum. But it's up to you. Maybe after your break, your feelings will mend, and all will be better.

[sage]

Yes, I'll say I'm so sorry you feel this way as well. I often come here and don't check any other threads than "Treatments" and "Q&A" cuz that's where people post most stuff I feel I can contribute to. Sometimes I'm bored at home and surfing and now I have a laptop so I can multi-task...lol so I'm on here more.


But I'm always confident that Hippychick is on top of these things as she's here more often than me and checks every post which is an incredible allotment of time.


I have to say I think Hippy is a fair and tolerant moderator in these matters - way more considerate than me. Sometimes if people are acting like two-year olds to each other I just delete the whole damn topic. I don't even lock it for others to later witness how folks treat each other like two-year-olds. My basic rule is: this is a support and information forum. If you're not offering support or information, or chit-chatting about nonsense OT (which is fine too) then it goes. The internet is full of blogs and forums for other such banter.


I saw this thread, quite late...and Hippy had already locked it. I hovered my finger over the delete button, but deferred to Hippy's (more rational) wisdom.

[shiva]

I agree with Japa.


I would like to add that there have been a few instances where these kinds of political topics have come up in the past and I honestly do not even know who had the opposing view points. Looking back, I see Babygap, that you and I were not on the same page politically, but I need you to understand I am not on the same page politically with many of my friends and I love them very much. I would always be here for you if you needed support with emet and I am sure that goes for everyone else who disagreed with you. I would hope so anyway, since that IS the purpose of this board.

[spilled_milk]

Babygap:


I am also sorry that you're leaving, you've been a great member around here. I stay out of those sorts of debates (for exactly this reason), so i don't know what you're talking about EXACTLY, but I'm sorry that you don't feel supported.


Hopeuflly we'll hear from you!


<3 Anya--

[aguerra29]

It's a shame that a mostly "healthly itellectual debate" on politics is going to keep you from this forum. I'lll admit, I got pretty heated up in the discussion, but I know I NEVER called anyone names or insulted their opinions. My very best friends in this world all have differing political views than me and we are still great friends and offer support to each other when we need it.

Personally, it doesn't matter to me what anyone's political views, sexual orientation, or anything else is. If you are an emet and gain share knowledge from your experiences, I want to know you.

I hope that you will reconsider, Babygap. I think you could offer support to so many people.