I'm really frustrated with myself, sorry for the coming rant. I do not understand why I cannot have normal relationships!! I'm 18 and they have all been bad so far! I can't get normal attraction. I like a guy and... he's the only guy I can like. for years!! my friends get crushes, have fun thinking about their crushes for a few weeks, and then get a new one. Not me!! Mine have to last for a loong time. and when I have a crush, I don't really get attracted to other people. all my thoughts are on the crush. I don't know why!! and the people are always so wrong for me too!! my first real crush lasted from 5th grade through 9th grade... I didn't have any classes with him past the 7th grade though. my other crush lasted for 2 years, the second half of 9th through the tenth.. when I got my next crush, who ended up being my boyfriend for 10th-most of this 12th grade year!! then a few months ago, I got another crush... we had 3 months of class together. I haven't seen him since march. but I am always thinking about him. I dream about him, wonder what he thinks of me, and I was just nowgoogling his screenname!! why can't I quit thinking of him?! I know he is not right for me. we have differences of opinion in some major areas. I just do not understand why I am so attracted to him. yet I see him on IM occassionally, and I don't even talk with him!! I don't know what my problem is! I don't know why I'm always attracted to the wrong people. and why I can't be in a normal relationship, or find someone who is seriously right for me. I wonder if there even is someone right for me. all the people who I'm attracted to are pretty good nice people, but there's always some thing that would make us incompatible... I pretty much hate relationships right now. sorry for that. I'm just stressed. and I hate not being able to have the fun, not so serious crushes my friends get. thanks for listening.