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Thread: Proove Me Wrong

  1. #1
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    I honestly think I've lost the ability to keep my mouth shut when people piss me off. Like today at the movies, this little f***er threw two coins at the back of my neck, he flicked them, have you ever seen anyone do that? It hurts like a BITCH! So I got up out of my chair and chased after him yelling what the f***? SO he got away from me and I was pissed but I went back to the theater and sat down. Then a bunch of other f***ers came into the theater, they were obviously movie hopping, and started talking really loud and giving away the ending and s***. So I went to the front, after the movie, and I was like, "I want to speak to a manager" so I started to talk to the manager and I guess the people who were in the theater with me heard me and they come up to me and they were like, "You could have said something to us while we were in the theater" and I was like, "Oh you wanted me to yell SHUT THE F*** UP?" and so she gets all mad at me and says she's going to be the s*** out of me, so I lodged my complaint and as I was leaving I ran into the huge lady again and she had to be held back by her friends and I was all like, "I wish you would beat my ass in front of all these people cause then I can sue you" and she's all like, "Go back to your trailer park" and I was all like, "I can garentee you that I live in a nicer neighborhood then what? The Projects?" So she got all pissed off and everyone had to hold her back again and then I just walked away. Need I mention that all the people messing with me were black? Now I'm not racist, and I wouldn't be, IF THIS WAS THE ONLY OCCURANCE! Do you know HOW MANY TIMES Black people F*** with me because I'm a skinny white girl? WHAT THE HELL? What am I supposed to do? Anyone out there have an opinion?


    ~Monica
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  2. #2
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    Well I'd be well pissed off too if somebody had done that to me in the cinema. Being me though I'd just sit and keep quiet and moan to the peopleI was with. I wish I had theconfidence to say more or flare up at times - so opposite to you!


    Regards racism, it certainly exists with all colours and nationalities. I've also seen minority groups pick on other minority groups, probably because they appear to be easier targets.


    At the moment we are in the midst of World Cup Footbal fever over here. Last week a seven, yes seven, year old English boy waspunched in the headin Scotland for wearing an England football shirt. And a disabled man was dragged from his car somewhere else in Scotland and given a black eye for wearing an England shirt. It is absolutely unbelievable. For goodness sake Scotland are our neighbours! The thing is mindless thugs and racists exist in every colour, nationality, creed, whatever, and it will probably always be the same.
    .:**:.Tracey.:**:.

    Fall seven times, stand up eight.
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    ^^ RE: the Scotland/ England thing. I think it's utterly ridiculous. I am english and I'm almost scared to open my mouth up here sometimes. Though not everyone thinks that way a few mindless thugs wreck it for the rest of scottish people.
    Be courageous, believe in yourself, and be the best woman you can be. I'm with you all the way.

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    I'm just saying it's hard for me NOT to be racist when being treated badly but a WHOLE BUNCH of black people. I mean I really don't hate anyone because of the color of their skin, but when you are repeatedly attacked by people of the same race you start to thinkthat they are all like that. I try NOT to be racist but honestly my opinions on black people are getting lower and lower. I feel bad but that's how it is.


    ~Monica
    David Duchovny I want you to love me
    To kiss and to hug me, debrief and debug me
    David Duchovny I know you could love me
    I\'m sweet and I\'m cuddly-I\'m gonna kill Scully!

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    I think that some people just look for fights. I was picked on all my life by white people but I do not dislike them. I have been chased by white men with rebel flags hanging off of their trucks. I have been treated like an outcast by teachers that told me that I would never amount to anything but a maid or on welfare because they say I am a statistic. Everywhere I go I get rude remarksand eitherignored by sales people or followed like I am a thief. I will not use the excuse that I am black but it is because they are ignorant. Irun into rude people of all colors. I could say that my opinions on white people get lower and lower because this does not happen in one state. But many that I go to. Of course it is not right.Many people cannot believe I married a white man because of howI was treatedby white people and continue to be treated by white people. I guess it is a given that black people and white people will never get along as a whole if we as people do not look at the individual. And many of you on this site just confirmed my thoughts.

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    With all due respect to everyone on this site, and everyone that has posted on this thread, I think that topics like this are what gets the water muddy, so to speak. samara, I know that you are just venting and looking for some answers, but the truth is, that there are some stupid people in this world, both white and black. There are black people in this world that that just like to start trouble, just as there are some stupid crazy butt white people also that like to start trouble, ect ........ People are gonna tick you off every where you go, but only you can control your mouth and actions. Some of what happened to you could have been avoided ............... and please dont get me wrong, I am hot headed myself, it sometimes doesnt take much to tick me off, BUT, as I have gotten older, I have learned to control my anger and my lashing out. You should have somplained about people theater hopping and being disruptive, I would have walked out during the movie and said something to the manager, let them handle it, thats what they get paid for.samara, you are a valued member of this site and I hope that I havent said anything to upset you, but black, white, red, purple, whatever, we are all on this site because we have emet, and emet knows no color.



    Edited by: jennyleigh1975

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    Well said, Jennyleigh! Monica, I'm sorry you had a bad experience, and I would have been pissed off, too. But it could have just as easily been white people picking on you. I have been harrassed by people of all colors, and try not to hold it against that race as a whole. We are here on this site to be supportive of each other, no matter what our skin color is, so let's please focus on being a community, and respect each other. I care about and respect everyone on this forum, and want this to be a safe place for everyone here.[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

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    Here is what I think- your country's history of race relations is so incredibly messed up that it still permeates today. It was only a few decades ago that in many places black people had to sit at the back of the bus and drink from separate fountains. Many white people treated black people like they were less than human, and in turn many black people became resentful. Even though many of the barriers to equality have been removed, many white people STILL treat black people like garbage, and in turn many black people are still resentful because, as Taffy mentioned, even though racism isn't as evident as it was previously, it still rears it's ugly head often enough to be a reminder that people will view you as "black" before seeing the person you are.


    Monica- all you proved to the people who were picking on you was that yep, it's justified to disrespect white people because they all think black people are ghetto. It's an unending self-perpetuating circle. You are reacting how they want you to react because then it just confirms their perceptions of white women, and makesthem more likely to act in the same manner again. If you ignore them, they will likely get bored because they arent getting the reaction they want.


    In order to bypass this, what you also need to do is to stop viewing this as a "black" thing- you can't judge an entire race by the actions of a few people, because as much as you don't want to admit it, saying that your opinion of black people is bad because of a few experiences IS racism. That "whole bunch" of black people you have encountered that have treated you badly is really a miniscule speck of the black population in your country. Statistically, most rapists and serial killers are white men- should we thenuse this to judge all white men?


    Like Taffy said- you have to look at theindividual and their actions, not attribute it to what colour they are.


    *amber*

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    Monica,


    What does being a skinny white girl have to do with why these people were angry with you in this particular situation? It sounds like they were angry because they overheard you telling the manager about their behavior and then when the woman said something to you about it, you cursed at her, asking her if you should have said shut the f*** up. It doesn't have to do with your being white.


    And whites like to screw around in the theaters just as much as blacks. I've seen that kind of behavior from all races.


    And as for the historical context of racial problems in the U.S. and how it still affects interactions between the races today, see amber's post



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    Japa- you are completely right. I didn't even see it from that angle.


    Just goes to show how pre-occupied we all are with race.....


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    Quote Originally Posted by taffy


    I think that some people just look for fights. I was picked on all my life by white people but I do not dislike them. I have been chased by white men with rebel flags hanging off of their trucks. I have been treated like an outcast by teachers that told me that I would never amount to anything but a maid or on welfare because they say I am a statistic. Everywhere I go I get rude remarksand eitherignored by sales people or followed like I am a thief. I will not use the excuse that I am black but it is because they are ignorant. Irun into rude people of all colors. I could say that my opinions on white people get lower and lower because this does not happen in one state. But many that I go to. Of course it is not right.Many people cannot believe I married a white man because of howI was treatedby white people and continue to be treated by white people. I guess it is a given that black people and white people will never get along as a whole if we as people do not look at the individual. And many of you on this site just confirmed my thoughts.

    I am so sorry this has happened to you all your life, that totally sucks! You need to believe (and I'm sure you so), that you are beautiful. The fact that you did marry a white man proves thaat you have the abillity to love someone, regardlless of collor, and that's great. To be honest, in my opinion, I think SOME, not all, white people can be a little snobby when someone looks or talks different. I am hispanic, puerto-rican, and french. The latin traits, however, are more dominant. I went through the same thing, being teased because my nose wasn't as "peetite" as the majority of my peers at school, my dad drove an old worktruck, blah, blah, blah. What people DIDN'T see, was that my dad drove that old worktruck to work, for the company that he owned, and he made 6-figures back in the 70's and 80's. What he had at home was either a Cadillac, Corvette, andMercedes. He had his family living in a big home with food and clean clothes, etc. We were a very close family who ate dinner together every night and took family vacaations twice a year also. But see, because we were a predominantly HISPANIC family, we were stereotyped, and that hurt and was soooo wrong People who judged didn't see the whole picture. Each person needs to be judged (we all do it) as an individual, not as a whole race. When I used to work in offices, I liked when there was a black man or woman working there, because they brought some life, spice, and humor into the otherwise stuffy office!![img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]
    ~*~Charlene~*~

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    I really am trying not to be racist, I mean I firmly believe that if someone is an A-hole it doesn't matter if they are black or white or even purple, but once again, if you were repeatedly picked on by people of the same race you'd see it differently. I guess I'm not saying all black people are bad, cause they aren't, but the majority of black people in this city are very ignorant. My therapist asked me if I thought that being WHITE was the best race, I honestly replied NO, I don't think white people are better then any other race. White people in NO WAY are superior to any other race, and I hope you guys realize that I don't think I'm better then anyone because I'm white.


    It's just like this, say if you were born into a family where your parents always taught you that 1+1=3, they told you that every day, even when you learned in school that it wasn't the right answer, still a part of you would believe that maybe 1+1 does equal three. When incidents repeat them selves hundreds of times, you start to single out the one variable in the whole incident. I really don't HATE black people it's just that the ones that I run into seem to be ignorant, and yes I have met some of the most ignorant white people in this state (Most of them being relatives of mine) Guys I really don't want you to think that I think I'm better. I just got really pissed off and at the time all I could think was of how many times I've been treated badly by black people.


    A lot of black people I've come in contact with are racist against white people, and society says THAT'S OKAY because we treated black people so bad in the past. When that woman said, "Go back to your trailer park" was that NOT racist to some point? They are allowed to call me a "Cracker" and a "White Bitch" but as soon as I use the word "N*GGER" Then I'M OUT OF LINE? Does anyone see where I'm coming from here?


    ~Monica
    David Duchovny I want you to love me
    To kiss and to hug me, debrief and debug me
    David Duchovny I know you could love me
    I\'m sweet and I\'m cuddly-I\'m gonna kill Scully!

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    I think that being picked on by people of the same race continually and singling out their race as the "one variable" is the definition of what racism is. Maybe you don't see it that way - and I know you're not "trying" to be racist - really. But nevertheless this IS racist. When I was in school I was bullied 24/7. There was not a person of colour in my entire town. I was CONSTANTLY picked on by "white people", but it never occurred to me in a million years to single out their RACE and decide that's what was wrong with them all. Once you make that decision, you're racist plain and simple. I can imagine that the people p****ed you off (I would have been too) but you could have asked them nicely with respect and dignity to please stop it or leave, and then if they continued you could have told them (again, respectfully) that you were going to speak to the manager. You could have focussed on their behavior rather than them as persons, and you might have gotten a better result.


    Don't get me wrong - I'm not really trying to chastize you, I'm just pointing out for the sake of discussion - what might have been more emotionally mature action in this case. I know it's tough to choose the mature thing when your temper flares - and I've been there. I only learned how to make better choices with age and experience!


    As I said, I think you're a good person who is really trying to do the right thing...otherwise I wouldn't even bother responding.
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    Thanks Sage...really. It's just my whole life it's always been black girls, all through school too. They would gang up on me and I even had someone tell me I was racist, the reason she said that (And she was black) was because I used a word she didn't know the defintion to and I said, "You can go look it up, it's in the dictionary" and she was like, "why do you have to be so racist?" Like WTF? I was not raised to be racist and I do have black friends, for the longest time one of my closest friends was black. Well he's actually Brazillian (Sp?) but if you just saw him randomly on the street you would think he was black.


    I'm not ignorant like my relatives (and believe me some of the stuff they say you just shake your head and think "Did I just hear that?") I had a black girlfriend for the longest time, we dated I didn't really care what people thought, I mean I would totally go out with her again (She ended it because my parents were uncomfortable about me dating a black girl, not that they really SAID anything but you could tell and it was making her uncomfortable) but I guess singling someone out because of their race even in a problem situation is racist. Trust me I don't want to be racist I really don't, I feel very bad even having these thoughts...but once again it's hard not to. I really don't want to offend anyone, and yes I know white people are ignorant and annoying too.


    I guess I'm just going to put my foot down and say that if you are an A-hole whether you are black, white, asian, hispanic, indian, or anything else then I'm going to treat you like what you are, an A-hole!


    ~Monica
    David Duchovny I want you to love me
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    David Duchovny I know you could love me
    I\'m sweet and I\'m cuddly-I\'m gonna kill Scully!

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    Oh man, I hate topics like this. The thing is Monica, in the US, blacks have a history of being treated as lower class citizens, victims of white supremacy, so yeah I think it's worse to call someone a n****r than be called a 'white b***h' because your race has not struggled to drag themselves up to an acceptable level of credibility. Imagine what it must be like to have fought hard for acceptance and equality only to be 'reminded' consistently of how you were once perceived as the lowest level of society. Can you relate to it on the grounds of sexuality? I certainly would not want anyone to judge me on the basis of my sexuality, that would seem very unfair.


    I am sorry you had a bad time though and I can understand how annoying it must have been for you (race aside here!). I also know your words were said in anger and that you would never have meant to offend anyone.


    Taffy - I hate to think you have been upset by all this, and I would like to think that many of us never consider race/religion/sexuality whatever in our judgement of people.


    Finally...England are out of the World Cup....which should cheer the Scots up - lol! Still, it's serious stuff when people are being attacked for supporting their country in what is meant to be a unifying event. I'm in Wales and there are loads of people with England flags/shirts etc., but I don't think there has been any trouble. I live in a very multi-cultural city so we're perhaps more accepting. It's sad though that this kind of thing continues to happen. Makes me kind of ashamed to be human at times!Edited by: suze

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    Monica,


    When did it become your job to let people know when they are being assholes anyway? There is a difference between sticking up for yourself and being assertive and become defensive or agressive.


    You confuse me because one minute you say that it's a race issue and the other minute you say you are not racist and that you have many black friends. Regardless, I am not going to sit here and analyze, accuse or argue. I just want to point out one thing that kind of throws me for a loop here. How would you feel if you read a post on here with negative undertones focused toward lesbians? Wouldn't you feel confident in assuming that the person who wrote it is a bigot or homophobe? Since you are a lesbian I find it really disturbing that you would be so closed minded considering you know first hand what it is like to be judged by something you can't help.


    And it's spelled prove, not proove. You can look that one up in the dictionary, too.


    And if you have so many black friends, then haven't you already been proved wrong?


    That all being said.. You are still my fellow Clevelander and I hope I haven't hurt you. You just need to re evaluate your thinking and not let yourself feel like such a victim.


    "If you look for crab apples, you will find crab apples"








    \"This too shall pass\"

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    I wasn't going to say anything, because this whole thing makes me uncomfortable. But I think the major issue is a behavior pattern that Samara has noticed. And maybe it was her upbringing that causes her to see more of this negative behavior from blacks than whites.


    I think a lot of us in the twenty-something age group struggle with this. I mean, in our parents' generation, there was separatism and definite discrimination. And it was accepted, even though it was wrong.


    I have a lot of ignorance when it comes to the black culture. I can't imagine knowing what it felt like to be a slave or considered "less than" for several generations. I can't imagine what it would be like to be discriminated against. However, something bothers me. I think for the most part, people of our generation are trying their hardest to treat others as equals (because they are.) But so many of us grew up in homes where our parents were racist because of how they were raised, etc. But even though white people wrecked the lives of blacks, FOR THE MOST PART, we aren't now. We are trying to be accepting and loving. But blacks DO discriminate against whites. It almost seems as if the tables have turned, and they are trying to separate themselves from the white community.


    Blacks hate whites, whites hate blacks--it's sad but true. I am not sure when we are finally going to see the end of the hatred. Like it or not, to some degree most of us have a little prejudice or hold on to stereotypes (myself included.) Nobody is perfect. And it's hard to retrain your brain, especially when you have been taught "1+1=3" your whole life.


    Maybe in a couple more generations, people of different races will all be 100% accepting of others. We can only hope. But in the meantime, I think we are stuck in the "adolescent phase" of equality in society. Know what I mean?

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    I think it is a bit harsh to say black people hate white people and white people hate black people. It just gets hard sometimes because being a black woman it feels like a double negative. One being black and two being a woman. We as woman have to work twice as hard as men. Being black we have to work twice as hard and make sure all of our T's are crossed and I's are dotted just to prove we deserve to be there. If you have never experienced things like this then you can NEVER understand. Or how about going into a store and the sales clerk greets and smiles to everyone but you. Oh, she sees you because she makes eye contact and puts her head down.But I have started to take action. I now fill out customer comment cards and go online and notify customer service.I am also a secret shopper so I get paid to write up rude people.I am not wanting to sue anyone or get a check. I just to be treated fairly. I do not think sueing a company is the answer. I guess it will always be an on going battle! But just do not judge me before you get to know me.

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    Did anyone ever watch that show (I think on A & E) called "Black. White. ?" I watched a few episodes and the finale. It was where a white family moved in with a black family for an experiment on racial stereotypes. Also, the two families were "made up" into the other race (the white girl was given black makeup and vice versa.) And they had to go out into the world dressed up as this other person, to see how it felt.


    And the show clearly showed a world of ignorance on both sides. And even when one member of one family thought they were being kind to the other, they were insulted by the actions instead. It was an eye-opener for sure. I think the problem continues to be ignorance on the part of both races. No one really knows what it's truly like to be in the other person's skin. We only have history of both cultures and current stereotypes to go on. But I do think as a whole, society is trying to work out their differences. But as I said before, it's sort of like a "growing up" period in our history. And everybody knows the teen years are the scariest, meanest times to live in. Eek!

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    I just cannot believe that in the year 2006 people are still debating this issue. It's just sick.


    Taffy, I cannot imagine how it must feel to be a black woman in the United States today. It really must feel like you are constantly having to prove yourself to your society and that is real bulls***. I remember one day that I was driving down the highway and I saw a black woman driving a jag with a license plate that said something like neurosgn or brnsrgn (it was obvious she was a brain surgeon). I was so happy for her. I am aware that she had to work 50 times harder than anyone else to be where she is, and she did it. That's just f***ing awesome.


    I just want to add that the 1+1+3 mentality is bulls*** because we are all adults and we know what's right and wrong. That's not at all a good enough justification for being racist. If that's how life goes than none of us will ever get over our phobia because all our lives we've learned to fear puke. Come on. That's a lame excuse.


    Every human on the face of this earth has the right to be judged by thier own actions and not the actions of the people they are affiliated with. s***, if you judged me by my family you would be way off on my character. Go ahead and be upset with the girls who bullied you, or the woman who started s*** with you. But to let it define your feelings against a whole group of people is just plain ignorance. This country cannot take much more of this kind of ignorance. It's really a complete embarrasment to me.
    \"This too shall pass\"

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    Okay, well....I think that's enough of this topic. Everyone's been heard.


    Oops - just tried to lock this .... butunfortunately, Hippychick and I can't moderate this OT part of the forum, so I can't lock the thread.


    So please just consider I did lock it.Edited by: sage
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