Worried

[chibi]

Hi there, havent posted in awhile. Ive been trying to "ignore" my emet,
as I have been working a lot, and I MUST. Well, I started taking XANAX
again last sunday. Im slowly working my way up so I can take more than
one pill a day. Im at half a pill a nigh right now. Makes me very
drowsy in the morning, but at least I Dont have trouble sleeping!

Anyway, Im hoping that will help solve my problems... at least a
little. But just now I was surfing the web on a community site and read
someones post saying they had chills, vomiting, fever, ect and I felt
all panicky. [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img] I feel so stupid. Also
at work yesterday I overheard two coworkers talking about previously
waking up at night feeling nauseous but not vomiting. I didnt want them
to think I was weird for standing by so I kept walking, didnt hear the
rest of the convo, and worried over it.

There is a possiblitiy I could get the full time position at work that
is opening up soon, but if I did, I am extremely worried about my emet.
I freak out at work. I am especially afraid of using the phones, as
that is how I got norwalk one year. My boss had it a few days
previously, and he is ALWAYS on the phone, and I HAD to answer it when
it rang, and I think thats how I got it from him [img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img]
cause I came down with it that night. I feel like bringin wipes to wipe
the phones but theres SO many phones nd its SO busy, id look so
odd too. (its a department store for goodness sakes)

Anyway Im just rambling. Im just really worried my problems will get in
the way. However if I DO get full time I think I can afford to see my
sociologist again from time to time. Maybe with meds and EMDR and CBT I
can beat this. I HATE THIS PHOBIA!!! [img]smileys/smilies_07.gif[/img]

I also want to go to college in new york someday if I can, but IM not
letting this stop me from doing that! The only thing stopping me is.. I
cant leave my boyfriend behind[img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img] gotta figure that one out yet. But it wont be emet stopping me, darnit!

Anyway thanks for reading my rambling, I really needed to talk to someone who understands..

[Jenneh]

we understand. unfortunately im at the lowest of all lows at the moment. nething i say, wil be of no help.


i just wanna say, worryin about whether ur ill or not, is not gnna stop u being ill. so u may as well just take each day as it comes, and if ur il, ur ill. but im pretty sure u wont be.


tke care


Jen xxxxEdited by: Jenneh

[buttercup]

I totally understand all your stresses, I think it's great that you are so determined to go about your life without letting the emet get the best of you. That's great. One thing I try to remind myself of, I have had a lot of days in my life ruined by emet, and all but a very few of those days were useless worry, because nothing bad happened. Now I'm trying to to panic until I have to. Sometimes it works, sometimes not, but that the new approach I'm trying to take.