SICK KIDS - GRAPHIC

[stronghope]

Hi All,
My 2 kids have been home for a couple of days with the dreaded Gastro bug. This is my "Fate worse than death". I have had periods of intense panic, but am dealing with it better each time (usually).
I'm really afraid of passing this fear onto my kids, because I cannot sick and stroke their hair while they are sick, and I do speak like I'm stressed.
I try not to beat myself up, because at least I don't run away (much as I would like too) and I do everything a "good" Mum should. Comfort them, clean them up and allow them to eat if they want (against my better judgement). I do get really angry that this fear came back after being free of it for so long. I've tried lots of treatments-Psychiatry, Psychology, Relaxation, Anxiety Management. Although I'm heaps better than I used to be, so I must be grateful for that.
How do other Mums cope??

[grgygrl]

Oh, Im sorry they are sick but we have ALL been through it and come out OK and you will too. Be strong but I wouldnt let them eat too much, maybe some dry toast and some flat pop. Hope they are feeling better soon [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

[jandub]

I just try to get through it and rely on other people that my kids trust if possible, like my hubby. Time seems to just crawl but on the upside, at least they both have it at the same time so you don't have to wait to see who else will get it! You're doing great, hang in there. How are they now?

[ziegfeldgirl]

see this is the one and only reason I will enver hae kids. As much as I would LOVE to be a mother, I don't think I could handle what you're going through. and it kills me! I heard that its different if theyre your own children, is it true?

[stronghope]

see this is the one and only reason I will enver hae kids. As much as I would LOVE to be a mother, I don't think I could handle what you're going through. and it kills me! I heard that its different if theyre your own children, is it true?

Yes its very different. I always said I would never have kids too, but I am so glad I did. They are the only 2 people in the universe I would even consider being near when ill. Also, apart from the odd set back, it gets a little easier each time. I don't have the full-blown panic attacks now and I know (intellectually) that I can handle it, even if my emotions think they can't. The absolute heart-splitting love that you feel for them enables you to do things that you couldn't even consider doing for anyone else.

[stronghope]

Time seems to just crawl but on the upside, at least they both have it at the same time so you don't have to wait to see who else will get it! You're doing great, hang in there. How are they now?

Thanks so much. My girl is pretty much recovered, but my son still has very offensive nappies. I don't think it will progress, as he's still breastfed. (finger crossed).

Thanks guys for your support. Even though it only lasts for a couple of days, they often feel like very long days...

[grgygrl]

How are they doing today? Hope you are feeling good as well [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

[lilly]

Stronghope,

How old are your children? I have a beautiful 1 1/2 yr old baby boy. He's gotten sick in the past and other than being worried for him I have no fear... My mom always said it would be different with my own kids. Although I agree now and feel no fear when my little boy is sick, I do still wonder if it will be different when he's older. I've never feared babies in the past, since its usually just spit up. But I always wonder once its more... "graphic" if I will feel different.
Thanks, I hope your little ones are doing better :-)

[stronghope]

Stronghope,

How old are your children? I have a beautiful 1 1/2 yr old baby boy. He's gotten sick in the past and other than being worried for him I have no fear... My mom always said it would be different with my own kids. Although I agree now and feel no fear when my little boy is sick, I do still wonder if it will be different when he's older. I've never feared babies in the past, since its usually just spit up. But I always wonder once its more... "graphic" if I will feel different.
Thanks, I hope your little ones are doing better :-)

Thanks Lilly,
My daughter is just over 5 years and my son is just over 2 years. Both beautiful (of course). Congrats on not having fear when your son is sick. That's awesome !!
I had a very frightening set of circumstances happen one after the other about 2 years ago, which set my recovery back a long way. But I'm still heaps better than I was originally. Having to stay and face it means that it is getting a little less traumatic over time. Depends what else is going on for me too.

[afraid213]

My son, now 2 was playing in the water with the hose and he was drinking the water. I guess he drank too much, cause he came over and sat on my lap, then, he threw up!!! I WASN"T SCARED AND I DIDNT EVEN PANIC. It was natural to me not to run away. but if some one elses kid threw up while sitting on me, i would have freaked!!

[jkl81]

I'm so glad its that way for you moms.....anyone know if its the same way for dads? I dearly want to have children one day, but I don't want to screw them up in the head!

[fish demon]

Yes, I'm wondering about this as well. Up until a couple years ago, I was so certain I didn't want kids because of all the v* issues associated with them. Now I'm not so sure... I think I want kids some day but I am terrified of getting morning sickness, I'm terrified of getting sick while giving birth (I hear this can happen with the IVs they give you), and I'm terrified of the kids getting a stomach virus. Or, rather, I'm terrified of the kids getting a stomach virus and then passing it on to me...

[alycat27]

It really is different. At least with the younger kids. My son is four and has had a few times where he was pretty sick. I had no issue with that, but I can't say it will stay that way when he is like 11 or 16. Then I will probably get grossed out haha

[tinydancer75]

hi i too have had a child sick recently and its not nice. unfortunatly i could not cope and screamed for my husband to take over, i even on seeing my daughter(5yrs) v*, closed the bedroom dr and left her there till hubby got there (how bad a mother am i?). its very distressing for me and i run for cover now even if she coughs. i also have a 2yr old daughter. i too fear that i will pass this damn phobia on to them. i haven't been in a situation yet where ive been on my own while they are v* and if i was i dunno how i would handle it! it scares me to death and is getting worse the older they are getting. one thing i can say is thank you everyday to my husband for always being there for me, although sometimes i admit he doesnt truly understand my fear.

[laylamommy]

I had 2 (MUCH) younger brothers and any time either of them would even just lay down on the couch I would start to panic. If they did happen to v* I would have full blown panic attacks.

I was also very mean to them. I would call them sicky and constantly question them about how they felt, and if I wasn't satisfied with the answer I'd call them liars. Once I was keeping them and one of them v* right in the living room, I ran and hid, crying on the floor in my room. I was, I think, 16.

I think my emet is much better since becoming a mom. IDK if it was because of the pregnancy, or because I'm now forced to put another human being first. I am a mother now and I know I just can't run and hide when she needs me. Knowing that I'm needed makes me not even think twice. I feel like with her I have more control over the situation because I have a purpose which is trying to make her feel better and trying to make HER sick experiences positive as possible, so that I wont pass this fear along.

I am not cured. I still have the anxiety, however, I gotten so much better at controlling it.

I would say it is 100% different when it's you own child. I always said I would never had children...because they get sv*. Layla was not in my plan BUT she is easily the best thing that ever happened to me.

[laylamommy]

It really is different. At least with the younger kids. My son is four and has had a few times where he was pretty sick. I had no issue with that, but I can't say it will stay that way when he is like 11 or 16. Then I will probably get grossed out haha

I do worry that it will be harder when she gets older. Oh and she might be going to school soon, part of me is worried that she will get it, over and over, and re-traumatize me so that my phobia takes back over my everyday.

But I'm trying to keep thinking positive. (never one of my strong traits, to be honest but it helps)

[alycat27]

I know what you mean. My son has not actually gotten throw up sick often in his four years. Now that he will be heading to school I do wonder if there will be colds, throwing up, coughs, etc alot more often [img]smileys/smilies_03.gif[/img]

[dreamer]

I know what you mean. My son has not actually gotten throw up sick often in his four years. Now that he will be heading to school I do wonder if there will be colds, throwing up, coughs, etc alot more often [img]smileys/smilies_03.gif[/img]

Yes, he's going to pick up the odd illness, but think of it this way - he'll be building a strong and healthy immune system!

To everyone else, I just want to add: yes, it's different when it's your own child! I recently spent a 2-hour car journey in the back seat with my v*ing 4-year-old. I even held a bag for him. If it had been ANYONE else, I would have run very fast in the opposite direction!

[grgygrl]

Dreamer: Great job and as hard as it was, he will remember you taking good care of him.

[dreamer]

Thanks grgygrl, I try my best! I don't want my two boys to inherit my fear and it seems to be working. They can both v* without freaking out.

The oldest one just thinks it's gross and the youngest came up to me the day after the 'car incident' and said in all seriousness 'Mum, I didn't like the flavour.'

I think we're all in agreement there!

[xheartsxoliviax]

Thanks grgygrl, I try my best! I don't want my two boys to inherit my fear and it seems to be working. They can both v* without freaking out.

The oldest one just thinks it's gross and the youngest came up to me the day after the 'car incident' and said in all seriousness 'Mum, I didn't like the flavour.'

I think we're all in agreement there!

Aww I think thats so ute in a weird way "mum i didnt like the taste"

But i thnk its something all parents have to deal with(however hard) because my logic is its not fair to restrict my child, because of my fear! So i try to embrace everythingand treach her that its nothing to be ashmaed of if your scared, that why im stopping it frm developing phobia!