What caused your emetophobia?

[emilyemetophobic]

My papa had stomach cancer when I was four and he would throw up alot without warning, then he died, I was about five. Its not like im afraid vomiting will kill me I just hate it so much its just so violent.

Tell me why you are emetophobic

[emmalinda]

well thats understandable!! A lot of reasons caused my emet. When i was a little girl my parents fought like nothing else and my mother had trouble containing her temper and suffered with severe depression. when i was 3 i felt nauseous. But I was too scared to interrupt my parents, but when it got so bad i freaked out and walked in and projectiled all over the new carpet. My mum ran around the room screaming and shouting at me. Then when I was 4 i felt sick again, but I was too scared to tell mum because of how she reacted the last time. Once again I left it too late and threw up all over the new carpet. She yelled at me for not going to the bathroom. Everyday I felt sick after that and she was in a good mood one day so i told her, and she told me to go stand in front of the toilet and dont come out until i vomited. I was in there for about an hour and I remember her coming in every few minutes asking if I did it yet. Same thing happened about a year later i felt sick and she told me to go into the laundry sink and stick my fingers down my throat to make myself feel better. Then once we were driving back from footy training and i was drawing in the car and threw up everywhere. My whole family got angry at me and I ruined the rest of the day. Another time I threw up in front of the entire audience at school I think when i was in yr 3. That was really horrible But the wierdest thing that freaked me out was one time i was spying through mums draws in her room and found several pictures, kind of like takin multiple times of her getting up out of bed going to the toilet, vomiting, and then going back to bed again. I later came back and found them torn up in the bin. It was the most disturbing thing I had ever seen. :/ Im pretty sure my mum caused my emet, although she couldnt help because she wasnt well for a long time

[olschesky]

sorry to hear about your father.....i'm sure that was a very scary time for you......

mine started when i was in the 4th grade........the boy sitting behind me v......kinda got on me.....i got up and ran out of class.......couldn't go to school for a while after that.....always felt sick.....my dr put me in the hospital and ran tests and found nothing.......that was over 50 years ago......

i've been pretty fortunate to be able to lead a relatively normal life........i try and push myself everyday to do normal things....convincing myself that it's all anxiety and with the help of prozac i'm basically a pretty happy person......my panics have become less and less over the years.....i still have them......and just shut myself in the bedroom and watch tv or computer till i get passed it.......

still hate it though......i know i've missed out on alot in my life because of it......i've found lots of comfort and help here at ies

[Laonfait]

Reading these things gets me anxious... dammit xD
In 2004, when I was 14, I ate what I'm guessing was too much pizza and felt sick. I Sat on the toire for about an hour. On the toire with seat down. It comforted me. That increased my awarness. However, May 8th os 2011 screwed me over. My aunt has poor health habits and her kids are always sick. In 09', I would get sick everytime I visited, literally. I decided not to go over anymore till may 6th. As I thought, I got sick, but this time, it upset my whole gastric order. If anybody had the amount of nausea I have hourly, they would be an emet as well ._."
Lesson learnt, I don't leave house!

[randall3329]

I cant really pinpoint it exactly, but i haf a very traumatic experience with a penecillan allergy. It was awful,projectile and i thought i would die, i was only about 8, it was very scary.

[Paisley]

When I had my very firt full-blown panic attack (didn't know what it was at the time) one of the symptoms was repeated gagging (dry heaving, retching). It happened out in public, it was so embarrassing, and it kept happening all the way home. I haven't been "normal" since. That's when it started BUT the foundation for this trigger to emetophobia happened years earlier, as a child, growing up with an alcoholic father and a rageaholic mother. Dad would be vomiting with a hangover (I could hear it) and mom would be yelling at the top of her lungs at him things like "I hope you puke your guts out" and "I hope you die" etc. So I learned very early on that vomiting made people very angry so therefore it was an awful thing, and as a small child I guess I believed what my mom said to be literal: Maybe you really can puke your guts out and die. Parents can do a real number on their children.

[roadtofreedom]

car sickness, THE SAME WAY THIS LADY GOT IT!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxHo9KMokDg

[asianeko]

I haven't discovered for 100% certain, since I don't remember suddenly being terrified. Based on remembering times I was sick and didn't care and then comparing them to times I was anxious around it, I think it happened when I was around 4 or 5.

At that age I found out I was severely allergic to peanuts. I ended up having a terrible stomach ache, getting sick, and then everything swelled up and I ended up having to go to the hospital. I was going into anaphylactic shock. That's the only thing I can think may have started it!

[katherines6]

@ roadtofreedom: is your youtube link safe to watch? any v*ing in it?

i am emet because i v*d constantly when I was little but could never tell my mom i felt ill because i thought it was shameful... and then in fourth grade (age 9) i woke up feeling ill one morning and went downstairs and called my mom (i was home alone) and said "this is the worst i've ever felt in my whole life" then v*d in the bathroom until my mom got home. she took me to the doctors and i began v*ing when i got there too. it terrified me so much that i couldn't stop feeling sick for weeks and weeks (classic symptom of anxiety and emet, but none of us knew that yet) so i was taken to the hospital multiple times and had a bajillion shots and tests done. then when i was in the hospital once, a girl started v*ing loudly and violently on the other side of the curtain in the room i was in. so scary!!! i've been emet ever since but haven't had it this bad, or anxiety, until this year.

[asianeko]

@ roadtofreedom: is your youtube link safe to watch? any v*ing in it?

The link is safe, it is an interview with an emet. There is one point where the male interviewer jokingly brings his fingers to his mouth and makes a sound, which may make some nervous, but he's just doing the joking gag thing lots of people do. Definitely seemed insensitive to the other emet, but I don't think non-emets think of that.

[roadtofreedom]

@ roadtofreedom: is your youtube link safe to watch? any v*ing in it?

100% safe, its just a interview on some British TV show or something

[katherines6]

ok thanks

[fixxxer2012]

im not certain but my mom was a very ill person my entire childhood until she passed 8 years ago. could also be from hearing my dad V once from a kidney stone when i was in middle school. i never saw the man sick before.

[emilyemetophobic]

Wow all these things seem super upsetting, alot of them to do with violence too I never knew it was from my papa dieing until my mom was feeling sick when I was 4 and I came up to her and said "Mommy please dont die please dont throw up and die " and began crying, my mom said it made her cry so hard when I said that. I dont remember it at all but thats what my family and I truely think its from.

[zipity]

I guess I can't really pinpoint it either. There were a few times I can think of. One was when I was in maybe 6th or 7th grade and I spent the night at a friend's house. She woke up in the middle of the night and v in her bed next to me. I went back to bed and was fine but I remember when my dad came to get me the next day I went home and laid on the couch and I remember saying "I think I caught what she has" and feeling sick but never got sick. It was anxiety.
Might be some graphic details ahead...
Then within the next year or two the same friend was coming to the beach with us. My sister was leaving for a school trip to Mexico that same day. My friend came over the night before and spent the night because we were leaving so early in the morning. I remember just being very tired. My Mom was washing my sheets and I fell asleep on my bed without any sheets on it lol My Dad went and got my friend while I was sleeping. My Mom came in my room to put the sheets on my bed and when I got up, I just knew something was wrong. I went to the bathroom where my sister was brushing her teeth. I told her to get out. I remember it not being a big deal though. I was at the toilet and I even crawled over on my knees to the sink to turn the water off that my sister had left on. Lol Then I went back and v. But the worst part that I think is what made me be afraid is that my parents made me still go to the beach. It was a 12 hour drive with a night in a hotel in the middle. So I was away from home worrying that I would v or have d while in the car. I tried to sleep but couldn't because I had so much pain. Then my friend made fun of me the whole time telling me I was "milking it" for attention. And I remember I had these horrible smelling burped and she kept yelling at me in the backseat because they smelled. We went to a wedding and I decided I would be ok to eat. I almost didn't make it back to the house we stayed in because of the d. Then I spent that night with horrible stomach pains. My Mom bought me immodium but for whatever reason it made the pain worse. It was just a horrible horrible week all together. That was the last time I v (I forget what year it was, but it was about 18 years ago) . My fear has really developed since then so I think that's what did it.

[emilyemetophobic]

Wow, I cant believe your mom made you go on a trip while you had a sv !

[zipity]

Yeah she always has had the "suck it up" attitude. I remember begging to stay but they had already paid for the house and since my sister was leaving for Mexico, there really wasn't anyone for me to stay with

[LilyLuna]

My dad has Menieres.

[Carole-Ann]

i dont know what the original cause was, but the main trigger happened 3 years ago when i was in year 6.
i think i already had emets, but it wasnt as bad as it was after this. we went on this 5 day camp with the school where we stayed in dorms. i was never really popular in school - still not to be honest - and only had one friend who i really cared about. she was who got me through this and still is my best friend. the first day of the trip was fine, 7 hour coach trip included - no one got sick. on the second night, i swapped beds with this girl next to me so i was in the same bunk as my best friend. that morning all i remember was seeing her and another girl yelling at me, then i sat up not wanting to move anywhere and panicking and then my best friend dragged me out of the room and into the hall. i was crying already and had to ask what was going on, which was weird cos i kind of already did but i cant remember how i knew. pretty much the girl who id swapped bunks with had gotton really sick at 5 am. i refused to sleep in that dorm for the rest of the night. my teachers were really angry that i was making such a big deal out of it whcih i think was one of the factors that made it so bad. the next night the teachers made me sleep in the bunk she had been sick in so i slept curled up in a ball at the end with my head on the metal bar and breathing through my t-shirt. next morning she was sick again and i saw it. at some point she was sick on my sleeping bag, which was then washed, but i still refused to use it and told my teachers it was because it was too hot. i asked people on the other side of the room to swap beds with me they all said no and on the last night, the sick girl left to go home early and someone said they didnt want to sleep in their bunk any more and slept in hers. that pissed me off alot...
so that was pretty much the worst few days of my life - they were also the only time (other than when im sick) i ever really wanted to die and the first time i ever cut myself purposely.
really sorry for the rant, i just have an annoying tendency to ramble on :P sorry...

[monkey_puzzle]

When I was a baby I had to have a big operation. One of my first memories is a doctor putting a gas mask on me to put me to sleep. I actually remember it made me feel nauseous and scared, but don't remember throwing up. Apparently I did when I woke up though.

Threw up between then without real worry over the years until I was about 8, and had also flown lots without worry, but when I went on a holiday with my dad and was flying back home, I threw up both when we landed at our stopover and when we landed back home. Not due to motion sickness as I had never suffered it (and still don't), I think I was just run down after a busy holiday, but I remember people watching me as it happened as they were getting off the plane. I remember that, and my dad holding the bag, what I was wearing, what music was playing when the plane landed, and the airline. Didn't want to wear the tshirt I wore that day ever again, couldn't hear the music that was playing, never wanted to fly the airline again (they actually went bust a few years after which put my mind somewhat at ease), and never wanted to fly again.

Had to go on a holiday with my mum and stepfamily about a year later and was terrified. Didn't eat, because at the time I was young and just assumed the only reason people got sick on planes was because of motion sickness, because that's why the bags were there. Mid-flight I felt gassy and thought I was going to vomit and my mum held the bag, but I just had to burp.. Laughed it off and did well on the flight home, but after then the anxiety returned and didn't fly for a good 10 years.

When I did throw up on the plane, I don't remember if my dad got mad or anything, he's the greatest and we are very close, but he can get funny in those situations so I'm not sure if he got angry at the time for being sick in a public place, and being an only child and very attached to my mum I might have felt helpless without her, and seeing people watching me as I did it was really embarrassing. Obviously enough to fester in my brain to this day of being 23 years old, 15 years later. After 2 different traumatic experiences happening to me as a child must have joined together to make some super emet fear. Threw up on two other different occasions after the plane incident, which weren't that bad I remember, and remember the last time I did throw up (1998), I woke up in the middle of the night and suddenly threw up on my mattress, and while mum was cleaning it I distinctly remember lying on the floor thinking "that wasn't so bad". Ever since I have fought with everything I have to not throw up, because I remember those 2 traumatic experiences.

[gumdropper1]

Puking in my sleep.

[jet1550]

I wish I could pick out one traumatic event which caused my emet, but I can't.

My parents were always very kind when I was sick and never made a big deal of it. They got me a bowl and a glass of water and just stayed with me until I felt better. But I have a very strong, vivid memory and I can remember smells, sights, dates and I always found throwing up horrible, but I didn't get upset by it, and I had two days off school doing nothing but watching Mr Bean to look forward to, which I really loved as a kid. Haha.

The emet really started when I was 15. I waited in the car while my parents shopped on a very hot day and had a huge panic attack. I hadn't had one before, and unlike most panic attacks my main symptom was violent nausea and feeling like I was going to pass out. I think the whole event was a mixture of heat and anxiety.

After that I associated travelling with nausea and I had several severe panic attacks in cars. In the years since the emet has taken different forms: scared of being sick after eating, after exercise, in public, other people, noro etc, all different times.

It's a bitch of a phobia.

[dord]

I honestly feel like I was born with it. I've had it ever since I can remember and I have no traumatic event in my past that might have caused it. I can remember trembling as a very small child and asking my Mom over and over if she thought I would throw up.

[CMM811]

I have no idea my mom thinks it was abuse at a young young age, as a child I displayed signs of abuse and went through lots of child therapists. My mom said even at age 3 or 4 I showed signs of emet. Even as a kid I associated v*ing to my dad, I don't even recall v*ing with my mom when I was a child. My mom says at a very early age I learned to supress it. She has always been very kind with my phobia and helpful and encouraging. I know I have read before that a lot of emets suffered some kind of abuse i.e. physcial, mental, or sexual. And I guess we have just assumed that. I have seen therapists and it helps but I'm just assume I have pushed it so far back into my subconscious that I don't remember it happening and am scared to even tap into it, fearing it would cause more damage then do any good.

[hairyfairy]

I`ve always been frightened of vting, because as a kid I would v for no apparent reason, & I could`nt understand why my body would do something so gross, messy, &violent, & I believed that maybe it was a punishment for something that I`d done, or that my body was just doing ot out of spite, & I still think that sometimes, as there seems to be no other explanation that I can think of.

[Erica1649]

I have had some horrible situations from hearing my dad vomiting one night from a stomach virus to my grandmother getting sick into a plastic Stop & Shop bag and not even telling anybody that she wasn't feeling well. That freaked me out a lot.

My mom said I went into therapy when I was in like 2nd grade because I used to get bullied by this girl. I was know as "The girl with the stomach ache" and I would always have anxiety in school...of course we've always had those issues with other kids in class vomiting...ugh its so gross! So i've seen that a few times in my day....

The only "me" experiance that I can think of that really bothered me is that I've had stomach bugs two Christmas Eves in a row.

[mina16]

Hi everyone ! I've been stalking this forum for like a year now and I finally signed up. I read everyone's stories at night to help me sleep. To get to the question what caused my emet was several things. When I was a little girl maybe 4 I remember my father went to Iran for a month to visit my family and my mother decided to surprise him and remodel the whole house and as soon as they started remodeling I had either fp* or sv* ( I also suffered from acid reflux since I can remember as well as ibs) but all I remember is drinking pop and literally couldn't even swollow it without it coming back up. I was so scared and my dad wasn't home he was always the strong one and my mom really didn't care for me the way my father would . After that the doctor told my mother that I need to take pepto 30 mins before and after eating . I am still addicted to pepto to this day I keep a bottle in my purse. I remember my emet really kicked in when my mother became an alcoholic and mixing with anti depressants and Xanax. I remember waking up hearing my mother v*ing and it scared me that she was sick because of a sv* it wasn't until I got older that I found out that she was mixing alcohol and Xanax . I come from a house of 6 siblings and I was always the hypochondriac of the family always freaking out that I would v*. I now as an adult am a crazy hand washer, hand sanitizers And I bleach my house and Lysol. My poor niece and 12 year old sister know as soon as they step foot in my car they need to have hand sanitizer and must wash their hands as soon as they walk into my house and sing the "happy birthday song" 3 times. My family just think I am a germaphob when I'm more than that. I've been with my husband for 5 years and he has no clue that I'm emetophobic, he knows my germaphobia. I've never had the courage to tell him. I'm happy to have this fourm at least you guys don't think I'm crazy!!!!

[DeadxxInside92]

When I was a baby, I had to have an emergency operation as a result of my pyloric stenosis which almost killed me because I was so dehydrated. It basically involves projectile vomiting and babies cannot keep anything in their stomach. Of course, I have no real recollection of this, I still think the experience was traumatic enough for me to store into my subconscious. I've been an emet for a very long time. My parents said I was *always* terrified of it--whether it was me or someone else.


Secondly, I am a huge control freak and I honestly think part of the reason I have this phobia is because I cannot control the act itself which puts a lot of stress on me. If I am not in control of something that is happening to me or a situation I am in that I find unpleasant, I freak the fuck out. It's a bitch.

[Sparklylikeaholiday]

Traumatic experience with bullying that involved me v* when I was 13.

[supernovaa]

Traumatic experience when I was 8. <THIS IS GRAPHIC/PROBABLY MORE GROSS THAN MOST STORIES IN THIS THREAD: DON'T READ IF YOU'RE EASILY TRIGGERED. PLEASE> I wouldn't even bother telling this story, but I think the more I tell it, the more control I feel like I have over it if that makes sense. I have this genetic condition where I'm missing half my adult teeth so my baby teeth needed to be pulled for me to get implants. So when I was 8, I had to have 7 baby teeth pulled in one day. And... no amount of gauze can undo the damage of having seven teeth pulled in one day, and I spent the night vomiting blood. So. Um. Enough said. Sucks that one day literally ended up ruining my life. </end graphic story, carry on everyone!>