I'm terrified of losing it... I know that's the phobia talking but I can't help but think that as soon as I'm not scared anymore, as soon as I let my guard down, it will happen. And that makes me want to keep the phobia, however much it's ruining my life.
So yeah, I don't really know what to do about it because it's giving me second thoughts about the CBT my mum is trying to get me, and I'm worried that it will make it difficult to work...
On one hand I really want to get better, so that I'm no longer scared. But on the other hand, I really don't want to get better, so that 'it' never happens.