Quote Originally Posted by Rcurt View Post
Thankyou so much, you don't understand how much better that made me feel! It gave me goosebumps!
Everything you said you struggled with when you was 16-18 which is my age group is what I struggle with! The home alone thing is my main thing now, and obviously I've been thinking about the job situation and I will have to start looking very soon as I will be leaving school very soon!! I worry I'll panic at work and not be able to leave, what if I'm s* at work and nobody will be there to help me? So many things are going through my mind! I have got a lot better an I hve started to push myself to do things that I wouldn't do a year or so ago. So it's slow progress.
I've lost friends due to all of this as they get fed up.
One thing I did want to as was do you drink? I have a massive worry about drinking. Parties is something I avoid because I feel awkward and jncofortable because I'm worrying about what people think about me not drinking. I don't really get invited because I don't put myself out there. I would really like to have just one just to loosen up or whatever, but the fear of it making me s* takes over. I have actually been invited to a party soon and I'm not sure what to do?
I always get told, oh you won't have fun, you're not drinking, you might aswell go home.
How do you deal with the fear of being s*when you're far away? Or has the fear slowly rationalised as you've got used to things?
Sorry I've got so many questions it's so good to finally speak to someone who has recovered.
Also, how long have you battled this phobia for?
I'm so happy for you and your successes!

Hiya

I think you aimed this post at me, not too sure as your quotes aren't working!

I had all the same anxieties as you do around working. My best advice is to get something close to home and not too much of a commitment to start with. With your age you should remember that the first job you get is not going to be your last. Push yourself, and do it. I found that i liked the money and the freedom it gave me so i started working more and built up.

The other thing to remember is, if you aren't well then you can leave. No one can tell you that you cannot leave. Whats the worst that can happen? They fire you? Oh well, you get another job. But only use that as a last resort - you may feel ill at work. I certainly did many times. It was ALWAYS anxiety and I pushed through and made it to the end of my shift. Always.

I do not drink. I am also scared that even one drink will push me over the edge. What country are you in? I am in the UK and the drinking culture here is awful. I have been going to parties with people drinking since I was 13. I never told people I didn't drink, I also didn't tell people that I was really drunk when I wasn't either. I used to take a bottle of coke and just drink that. If someone asks why I wasn't drinking, I just told them I didn't want to. And if they aren't okay with that, or thought I was boring or a killjoy, well that was their problem in my eyes. I believe anyone that doesn't believe that you can have fun sober should take a very long look in the mirror and try to understand why they need to drink to have a good time. I suggest you go to this party that is coming up, if you don't want to drink then dont. You are more likely to have a better time at the party sober than if you were to have one drink and get anxious that it will make you unwell.

One thing I did try on the drinking front was to have a bottle of beer, or glass of wine when I was at home. See how it made me feel to try and see whether I would be comfortable doing it in a social situation. It wasn't for me, even a couple of sips will send my anxiety insane so I just don't bother. As I said in my previous post, I am 23 now - and I have gotten this far without drinking for fun so I am sure I'm not missing anything!

It's often hard with the travel I have to do with work to be so far away from home and worry that I may get unwell. I still worry every single day I drive to work. However, I have gotten used to it. I make sure that my car is a safe place to be if I feel unwell. I always have things with me to make things easier. A bottle of water, mints, music, something light I can eat to see if it makes me feel better and I always keep a bin bag in my car "just in case"! It may seem extreme, but it is something that makes me feel better to have on me, so I do.

If I stay in hotels, I find that okay as I have a room and a bathroom just for me. I do worry that I won't have anyone to help me, although I know I have parents and a partner that will come to me where ever I am if I need them. I just try and rationalise to myself as much as possible that getting unwell isn't a situation that arrises that often for me, years in fact. I try to reassure myself that as long as I keep my hands out my mouth and eat my safe foods then I will be okay.

I have had this phobia since I was 4. I was about to throw up into a sandpit in nursery when my teacher ran over and tilted my head back so I choked on it. I have been terrified ever since.

I promise you things will get better. Just remember that.