Zoella & recovery?!??

[Rcurt]

Hey people
I've been thinking a lot about zoella recently ( youtuber ) obviously shes known for her beauty blogs etc, but is also known to have anxiety and emetophobia, like the majority of us all on here! She's gotten so famous over this last year and does so many things that in my mind would trigger anxiety. In previous videos she's done, she ha explained about her anxiety and panic attacks and how it effected her life so much, but now can do all of this? I know we only ever see snippets of her life and probably only the good bits but it intrigues me how she has come so far. I was watching a video about her earlier and It brought tears and so much emotion because she's done so incredibly well, when she's been in the same situation as us..
I know this is probably quite a random topic to write about but has anyone on here or know someone who has/had emet really bad come any further and can do more things? I talk to people on here and they say how they're still like in their 30's and struggling, is there people who have actually recovered? I need some hope and something to work towards because I worry it's something that'll never get better!

[Hannah A.]

I haven't really recovered but I do love Zoella!!! She's so awesome.

[betsie]

Hello!

My mom has emet, so do I. My mom is now 50 and has lived a full life, working in important roles, had two children, been abroad on holidays and does whatever she wants! It has gotten much easier for her over the years.

I am 23 now, and have been emetophobic since I was 4. I can honestly say it has gotten so so so much better as the years have gone on. When I was 16 - 18 it was particularly bad, I was terrified of everything. I hated being home alone, I had no idea how I would get a job or even move out. I lived off a bagel a day and was severely underweight. I couldn't do anything. I stopped going to school and I never went out.

I ended up getting so fed up that I had to do something. I got a job, just part time I started at four hours a week. I got a driving license and a car and that helped me tremendously as I ALWAYS make sure I tell myself that my car is a safe place for me to be. & as long as I have my car with me, I will always have a safe place to go. I ended up going to university, which I graduated from last year with honours. Whilst at university I worked 24 hours a week - which on top of uni meant I was constantly out and about and doing things. It was hard, but it was worth it. Getting out the house and having a routine was the best thing I ever done.

I now own a house! I moved out, I never thought I would do that! I work full time and my office is 40 miles from my house - that is a commute! Again, when I was 16 I struggled with the idea of being more than ten minutes from my home. On top of that, my job requires a lot of travel (only in the UK) so I drive all over the place to attend meetings. In fact, on Wednesday this week I travelled 40 miles to another office, sat in a meeting from 9am to 5.30am. I then drove 40 miles to my main office, and got a TRAIN to the city centre and went for a meal with my work team. I then drove the 50 mile trip home. I left my house at 6.30am and arrived back at 11.30pm. I did ALL that without panicking!!

I know it seems like you will never get to a point where you can live a normal life, but I promise you it will get better. The best thing you can do is to start challenging yourself. Small at first, then make it bigger. I used to be in a position where I was terrified to go for a meal or to go to the pub, and I just started doing it. Try and get yourself a job, not one that requires alot of hours to start with but just something which you must commit to a couple of hours a week. Just do it. It will make you feel better and the sooner you can do these things, and they feel normal to you and you know that you are safe doing them the easier it will be to start tackling those bigger challenges.

It's hard, but you can do this! You just need to believe in yourself. Believe me, as an emet you are capable of doing whatever you want to do. Think about it, how intelligent must you be to suffer so deeply with an anxiety of this sort? I honestly believe that it's the most intelligent people that suffer with anxiety of our sort. My partner has awful anxiety. He has no idea what he is terrified of, but he is terrified of something. He is one of the most intelligent people that I know. He never finished school because his anxiety was so bad, but it hasn't stopped him getting himself a bloody incredible job and doing incredible things. He designs networks and data centres. That's not an easy thing to do! Anyway, my point is - you are intelligent, you are capable and you will be able to do whatever you put your mind to. You just need to push yourself out of your safe bubble to realise what you're capable of. It WILL get easier. I promise you.

[Soph1999]

She does CBT i think... and also she said shes been able to cope with it as she has grown up. I wish she could come on here and just do one thread on her story with emetophobia and what has helped her overcome and control this phobia!

[KaydeeJayde]

I'm recovered. I still have my odd little panicky moment, but emet doesn't control my life anymore and I consider that recovery, even if I do need to have a bit of a freak out every few months. There is hope.

[pogopig]

I'm one of those people who's in their 30's and still struggling. That's largely due to me not getting ANY help or support until I was 34. That's the thing I'd say to people who have just developed this phobia - get help straight away! I firmly believe that the longer you leave it the harder it is to get better.
There's always hope though. I struggled alone for 23 years before getting help and a years worth of CBT has definitely improved things. There's lots of things I can do now that I couldn't do before.

[Rcurt]

Thankyou so much, you don't understand how much better that made me feel! It gave me goosebumps!
Everything you said you struggled with when you was 16-18 which is my age group is what I struggle with! The home alone thing is my main thing now, and obviously I've been thinking about the job situation and I will have to start looking very soon as I will be leaving school very soon!! I worry I'll panic at work and not be able to leave, what if I'm s* at work and nobody will be there to help me? So many things are going through my mind! I have got a lot better an I hve started to push myself to do things that I wouldn't do a year or so ago. So it's slow progress.
I've lost friends due to all of this as they get fed up.
One thing I did want to as was do you drink? I have a massive worry about drinking. Parties is something I avoid because I feel awkward and jncofortable because I'm worrying about what people think about me not drinking. I don't really get invited because I don't put myself out there. I would really like to have just one just to loosen up or whatever, but the fear of it making me s* takes over. I have actually been invited to a party soon and I'm not sure what to do?
I always get told, oh you won't have fun, you're not drinking, you might aswell go home.
How do you deal with the fear of being s*when you're far away? Or has the fear slowly rationalised as you've got used to things?
Sorry I've got so many questions it's so good to finally speak to someone who has recovered.
Also, how long have you battled this phobia for?
I'm so happy for you and your successes!

[Rcurt]

I'm sorry to hear that!
It's something that nobody really knows about so it's difficult. I've had lots of different types of therapy but I just can't find one that has done the trick though, what type of therapy have you found?
All the best!

[Rcurt]

Thankyou! That's amazing it really is.
I'm glad I asked because I really thought that it was impossible.
Do you mind me asking how you managed to recover?

[Rcurt]

Oh my gosh I know! It would be really helpful, she has made a blog post on it if you haven't seen it already? :-)

[betsie]

Thankyou so much, you don't understand how much better that made me feel! It gave me goosebumps!
Everything you said you struggled with when you was 16-18 which is my age group is what I struggle with! The home alone thing is my main thing now, and obviously I've been thinking about the job situation and I will have to start looking very soon as I will be leaving school very soon!! I worry I'll panic at work and not be able to leave, what if I'm s* at work and nobody will be there to help me? So many things are going through my mind! I have got a lot better an I hve started to push myself to do things that I wouldn't do a year or so ago. So it's slow progress.
I've lost friends due to all of this as they get fed up.
One thing I did want to as was do you drink? I have a massive worry about drinking. Parties is something I avoid because I feel awkward and jncofortable because I'm worrying about what people think about me not drinking. I don't really get invited because I don't put myself out there. I would really like to have just one just to loosen up or whatever, but the fear of it making me s* takes over. I have actually been invited to a party soon and I'm not sure what to do?
I always get told, oh you won't have fun, you're not drinking, you might aswell go home.
How do you deal with the fear of being s*when you're far away? Or has the fear slowly rationalised as you've got used to things?
Sorry I've got so many questions it's so good to finally speak to someone who has recovered.
Also, how long have you battled this phobia for?
I'm so happy for you and your successes!

Hiya

I think you aimed this post at me, not too sure as your quotes aren't working!

I had all the same anxieties as you do around working. My best advice is to get something close to home and not too much of a commitment to start with. With your age you should remember that the first job you get is not going to be your last. Push yourself, and do it. I found that i liked the money and the freedom it gave me so i started working more and built up.

The other thing to remember is, if you aren't well then you can leave. No one can tell you that you cannot leave. Whats the worst that can happen? They fire you? Oh well, you get another job. But only use that as a last resort - you may feel ill at work. I certainly did many times. It was ALWAYS anxiety and I pushed through and made it to the end of my shift. Always.

I do not drink. I am also scared that even one drink will push me over the edge. What country are you in? I am in the UK and the drinking culture here is awful. I have been going to parties with people drinking since I was 13. I never told people I didn't drink, I also didn't tell people that I was really drunk when I wasn't either. I used to take a bottle of coke and just drink that. If someone asks why I wasn't drinking, I just told them I didn't want to. And if they aren't okay with that, or thought I was boring or a killjoy, well that was their problem in my eyes. I believe anyone that doesn't believe that you can have fun sober should take a very long look in the mirror and try to understand why they need to drink to have a good time. I suggest you go to this party that is coming up, if you don't want to drink then dont. You are more likely to have a better time at the party sober than if you were to have one drink and get anxious that it will make you unwell.

One thing I did try on the drinking front was to have a bottle of beer, or glass of wine when I was at home. See how it made me feel to try and see whether I would be comfortable doing it in a social situation. It wasn't for me, even a couple of sips will send my anxiety insane so I just don't bother. As I said in my previous post, I am 23 now - and I have gotten this far without drinking for fun so I am sure I'm not missing anything!

It's often hard with the travel I have to do with work to be so far away from home and worry that I may get unwell. I still worry every single day I drive to work. However, I have gotten used to it. I make sure that my car is a safe place to be if I feel unwell. I always have things with me to make things easier. A bottle of water, mints, music, something light I can eat to see if it makes me feel better and I always keep a bin bag in my car "just in case"! It may seem extreme, but it is something that makes me feel better to have on me, so I do.

If I stay in hotels, I find that okay as I have a room and a bathroom just for me. I do worry that I won't have anyone to help me, although I know I have parents and a partner that will come to me where ever I am if I need them. I just try and rationalise to myself as much as possible that getting unwell isn't a situation that arrises that often for me, years in fact. I try to reassure myself that as long as I keep my hands out my mouth and eat my safe foods then I will be okay.

I have had this phobia since I was 4. I was about to throw up into a sandpit in nursery when my teacher ran over and tilted my head back so I choked on it. I have been terrified ever since.

I promise you things will get better. Just remember that.

[Rcurt]

Hiya

I think you aimed this post at me, not too sure as your quotes aren't working!

I had all the same anxieties as you do around working. My best advice is to get something close to home and not too much of a commitment to start with. With your age you should remember that the first job you get is not going to be your last. Push yourself, and do it. I found that i liked the money and the freedom it gave me so i started working more and built up.

The other thing to remember is, if you aren't well then you can leave. No one can tell you that you cannot leave. Whats the worst that can happen? They fire you? Oh well, you get another job. But only use that as a last resort - you may feel ill at work. I certainly did many times. It was ALWAYS anxiety and I pushed through and made it to the end of my shift. Always.

I do not drink. I am also scared that even one drink will push me over the edge. What country are you in? I am in the UK and the drinking culture here is awful. I have been going to parties with people drinking since I was 13. I never told people I didn't drink, I also didn't tell people that I was really drunk when I wasn't either. I used to take a bottle of coke and just drink that. If someone asks why I wasn't drinking, I just told them I didn't want to. And if they aren't okay with that, or thought I was boring or a killjoy, well that was their problem in my eyes. I believe anyone that doesn't believe that you can have fun sober should take a very long look in the mirror and try to understand why they need to drink to have a good time. I suggest you go to this party that is coming up, if you don't want to drink then dont. You are more likely to have a better time at the party sober than if you were to have one drink and get anxious that it will make you unwell.

One thing I did try on the drinking front was to have a bottle of beer, or glass of wine when I was at home. See how it made me feel to try and see whether I would be comfortable doing it in a social situation. It wasn't for me, even a couple of sips will send my anxiety insane so I just don't bother. As I said in my previous post, I am 23 now - and I have gotten this far without drinking for fun so I am sure I'm not missing anything!

It's often hard with the travel I have to do with work to be so far away from home and worry that I may get unwell. I still worry every single day I drive to work. However, I have gotten used to it. I make sure that my car is a safe place to be if I feel unwell. I always have things with me to make things easier. A bottle of water, mints, music, something light I can eat to see if it makes me feel better and I always keep a bin bag in my car "just in case"! It may seem extreme, but it is something that makes me feel better to have on me, so I do.

If I stay in hotels, I find that okay as I have a room and a bathroom just for me. I do worry that I won't have anyone to help me, although I know I have parents and a partner that will come to me where ever I am if I need them. I just try and rationalise to myself as much as possible that getting unwell isn't a situation that arrises that often for me, years in fact. I try to reassure myself that as long as I keep my hands out my mouth and eat my safe foods then I will be okay.

I have had this phobia since I was 4. I was about to throw up into a sandpit in nursery when my teacher ran over and tilted my head back so I choked on it. I have been terrified ever since.

I promise you things will get better. Just remember that.

Are they working now? I'm not sure in really new to this!
But I am also in the uk and yes the drinking culture is ridiculous! People actually enjoy getting slaughtered at the age of 13-14?! It baffles me how someone can actually plan to get to that state! I'm inviously younger than you and not even legal to drink yet but the pressure is still there from my peers. I always say no and say I don't need it, I always say it proudly but recently I've felt a lot more embarrassed and upset by the fact this phobia is the thing stopping me from wanting to get drunk not my pride. - I definetly don't want to make a fool of myself but I can't say it's that that's stopping me!
I know we have only swapped a few messages and I hardly know you but I feel such a sense of inspiration from you and almost like I'm already proud of you! The way you've given that advise with such confidence makes me feel so hopefull and happy that things can get better, I can't thank you enough.
I have also suffered with this since a very young age so I know no difference than to constantly be anxious about every thing that comes my way.